You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation

by Deborah Tannen

Book Overview

Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don't Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women's lives: the mother-daughter relationship.
It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language-but still...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 081297266X
• ISBN13: 9780812972665
• Release Date: December 2006
• Publisher: Ballantine Books
• Length: 304 Pages
• Weight: 0.56 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.2" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Does the author KNOW US ???!!

This book HAD to be written for my daughter & me!! My daughter had started reading it & was not even past the 2nd chapter when she was yelling, "MOM!! YOU JUST HAVE TO READ THIS!!" Ohmigod, It is DEAD ON our relationship. Unlike some books that before you finished it, would have you seeking professional help, this makes me feel WONDERFUL that we are obviously not the only ones with all these same feelings and interactions. How comforting in itself! I absolutely love this book so far & am looking forward to reading the rest of it. HIGHLY recommended :) Thanks for writing such a good one. Beverly ( & Jennifer) Armstrong

You're Wearing That

Great book. It was hard not to see myself, my mother and my daughter. First half of the book points out the error of our ways but the second half gives some practical advice on how to stop hurting those you love.

Newly insighted Mom

I must say, I read the book with an open mind but I really got so much more than I could have ever dreamed of. This book is a must for Mom's and adult Daugthers. My daughter is reading the book now and already I can see the effort she is making to understand me better and I certainly will think before I speak (to her) from now on. I truly did not see how I was coming across to my daughter. The book has truly opened my eyes, made me think and has helped me a find a neutral and effective way to communicate with my 20 something daughter.

Yet Another Amazing Book by Tannen

Deborah Tannen has once again captured the subtleties of communication in this book about communication between mothers and daughters. It is witty, wry, stinging and touching. I laughed until I cried and cried until I laughed. Tannen's examination of and insight into this specific communication is not simply entertaining, however. She also offers suggestions and observations that might very well assist in the minefield of mother/daughter communications. (Starting with NOT saying, "You're wearing that?!") Since I find linguistics a fascinating field, I thought perhaps I was biased, however, my daughter and my future daughter-in-law concur with me that this book is a gem.

I'm normal!

It never occurred to me that my mother and I are "typical." What a relief. Yes, the book is "light" in parts. Yes, Tannen's own issues and angst come through loud and clear, as though she truly needed to write this book to purge her own demons. But it is also extremely enlightening. Many AHA moments. The book is a blueprint for mending fences, reading signals, and growing up. Either the mother or the daughter has to be the adult. It doesn't matter which one. The rewards for learning how to put the past behind are tremendous. And as an only daughter who lives 1200 miles away from my 84-year-old mother, with brothers who all live 15 minutes away from her, I might have to give up all the resentments I've invested so heavily in toward the boys for ignoring mother's needs. Now I understand that our mother is not interested in receiving their help - she wants mine.