You're on Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years

by Marjorie Savage

Book Overview

Realistic and practical advice for parents of college-age kids Parents whose kids are away at college have a tough tightrope to walk: they naturally want to stay connected to their children, yet they also need to let go. What's more, kids often send mixed messages: they crave space, but they rely on their parents' advice and assistance. Not surprisingly, it's hard to know when it's appropriate to get involved in your child's life and when it's better...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1416596070
• ISBN13: 9781416596073
• Release Date: May 2009
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 342 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.4" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Great book for parents sending a kid to college the first time

This book is an easy ready with a lot of excellent information. As a school counselor, I present programs for parents on how their lives and homes change when a child goes to college. This book is an excellent resource . It offers suggestions on how you can mentor your child and support them through this transition to adulthood while also encouraging more independence.

Much more than I ever expected.....

If you buy only one book to help prepare for your child going off to college, this is it. The book starts out with the changes to expect the summer before college and how to prepare. It then goes on, chapter by chapter, following the process of adjusting to new life roles, parenting from a distance, how to offer support academically, socially, financially, and emotionally each step of the way. It even has a few chapters on post-college adjustment. In the back of the book is a handy four-year calendar detailing the main issues to be addressed, and, oh yes, at the end of each chapter are helpful tips for the student. As a result of this book I have now prepared a plastic file box with carrying handle for each of my graduating children. I put seven hanging file folders inside and labeled them: academic, financial, housing, auto, health, and computer so they have a place to store important information and can quickly retrieve it when needed. The seventh folder has "quick tips" which I gleaned form the end of each chapter and which I think will come in handy for my kids.

Letting Go WIth Grace

"You're on Your Own" and "Letting Go" (Coburn/Treeger) are both insightful companions for an emotionally intense moment of parenting. Another great book for sending a young adult into the world with the loving counsel of the people important to him or her (YOU!) is "Words to Live By: A Journal of Wisdom for Someone You Love" (Emily/Kate Marshall).

Must Read For Moms and Dads of HS Grads

This is a great book for parents of high school seniors to help prepare for eventual empty nesting. Sending your kid to college is like potty training, you know you have to do it, but you aren't so sure if you'll live through it. But of course they do learn to use the toilet and they move away to college as well (hopefully in that order)! Marjorie is very thorough in explaining what to expect every step of the way. It prepares you for orientation, moving, visits home, etc., so you can do your best to help you and your "child" navigate the college maze. She covers all angles, so if junior will be commuting or moving to the other side of the country, you'll get guidance. I now have two daughters at University of Minnesota where Marjorie heads the University of Minnesota parent office and does a super job. My friends have kids at other universities and they are amazed at how in touch I am with the happenings on campus because of the weekly update U-MN parents get. It's so much easier to have a conversation with your kid if you are enlightened. She makes sure we know what they need to do when (like registering or paying bills) so we don't have to nag the kid. At U-MN we are lucky to have her, now everyone can benefit from her insight and wisdom.

Even Better than Parent Orientation

I got more out of the first chapter of this book than I did from two days of Parent Orientation at my son's college! The author obviously empathizes with college students as well as with their parents. Kids who are starting college can do some pretty bizarre things that parents can't always understand. This book explains things from the parents' point of view as well as the students'. It just makes sense. And it gives me a lot of hope.