Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships

by Robert Alberti, Michael L. Emmons, Michael Emmons

Book Overview

Your Perfect Right --the leading assertiveness guide with over 1.3 million copies sold--is now fully updated and revised. This indispensable guide to equal-relationship assertiveness is packed with... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1886230285
• ISBN13: 9781886230286
• Release Date: May 2001
• Publisher: Impact Publishers
• Length: 244 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.1" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Super!!

Great book and good condition. I recomend this book to many people- direct, straight forward, and easy to read!

Powerfully helpful book

of all the books on my bookshelf, this is probably the one that i have recommended the most. the authors do an excellent job of motivating people to assertiveness, describing the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness (something i repeatedly do with patients because these concepts were not well defined for them in the past), and providing a practical guide for people to improve their assertiveness. the end of the book has a helpful section on deciding when to be assertive and reviews various questions to consider at the time you are trying to decide if the current situation is a battle worth picking. i have found that many patients feel very challenged by the notion of abrasive or offensive people scaring them into submission. this book has a chapter on dealing with difficult people that helps with this fear. the section, true to form, gives a very practical strategy for tackling even the toughest, most narcissistic individuals. for individuals wanting to conduct assertiveness training in a group format, the book can easily be tailored to this goal. the practical, step-by-step approach makes creating weekly lessons and discussion groups quite simple. my only complaint about the book has to do with the discussion of anger. i don't agree with some of the authors' concepts in this area. for example, they don't see anger as something that builds and could be expressed negatively and disproportionately when the straw breaks the camel's back. i believe in concepts such as anger displacement and think that one person can only take so much. also, the authors state that anger is a feeling like sadness, happiness, fear, etc. i believe, though, that anger is a cover for other emotions such as sadness, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, etc. when i've worked with patients on anger, they are nearly always able to see this and explore what their anger is truly about. that is, while anger is a valid emotion, it also tends to be superficial. while it often gets us the reactions we want (e.g. getting others to back off, getting people to do things our way), it is motivated by other emotions in my opinion. another great reference is smith's When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. this book focuses more on overcoming guilt and feelings of low self-worth as the primary obstacles to being assertive and self-respecting.

Superb Resource

This book is the definitive text on re-learning communication. I have used it for myself and taught programs using this as the primary guide. These tools are very effective and the book is an excellent resource.

The Art of Choosing How You Respond

Alberti and Emmons offer commonsense alternatives to the feelings of powerlessness that come from failing to express what we really want. Their practical solutions can be applied to family and social situations, in intimate and sexual relationships, at work, as consumers, when dealing with difficult people, and within our 21st-century realities in a multicultural, pluralistic, politically volatile world. This is a highly motivating guide for learning how to act in your own best interests without behaving in an obnoxious Me First manner. Designed as a step-by-step AT (Assertiveness Training) program, the activities and exercises encourage proactive behavior that invites mutual openness. Benefits include getting over your anxiety in dealing with others, boosting your self-confidence, coping with anger and fear, improving decision-making skills, and reducing stress. Because the authors take a holistic-eclectic approach, blending psychological techniques with physical, spiritual, and environmental factors, they suggest you might even be able to relieve certain physical complaints that may be related to underdeveloped assertive talents.Even the most socially timid reader will find Alberti and Emmons' focus on gradual, realistic progress an energizing method. Start with the Assertiveness Inventory, then follow the guidelines for determining how components like eye contact, body posture, gestures, facial expression, voice tone, inflection, and the thinking process itself fit into your assertiveness quotient. You'll learn to judge what really happened, how much it matters to you, what your priorities and options are, what the consequences might be, and -- most importantly -- whether assertion will make a difference. The book's appendices offer helpful Assertiveness Practice Situations and a list of references and recommendations for further reading. Since assertiveness is an acquired skill and not an inborn trait, this can be tricky territory. It's easier (and sometimes safer) to respond politely or nonassertively -- even when that means stressing yourself out over an upsetting situation. The other extreme is to confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. This book is not about bullying or manipulating people to get your way. It's about choosing how to respond, exercising personal rights without denying the rights of others, with the win-win result of making all your relationships more equal.

Great way to start the Millenium

This is a time honored book that teaches individuals how to be themselves with dignity. If you have ever felt that you can't say no, or that you can't ask for something that 'belongs' to you then this is a great text. It is easy to read and well illustrated with examples of its teaching. A Primer of sorts for all who want to live their lives fully. Remember this teaches about being assertive and that is not a 4-letter word. enjoy