You Can't Say You Can't Play

by Vivian Gussin Paley

Book Overview

Who of us cannot remember the pain and humiliation of being rejected by our classmates? However thick-skinned or immune to such assaults we may become as adults, the memory of those early exclusions is as palpable to each of us today as it is common to human experience. We remember the uncertainty of separating from our home and entering school as strangers and, more than the relief of making friends, we recall the cruel moments of our own isolation...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0674965906
• ISBN13: 9780674965904
• Release Date: July 1993
• Publisher: Harvard University Press
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.46 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 6.1" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

Touching and thought-provoking

I'm a teacher and a mother of a preschooler, and someone who was *seriously* excluded as a child. This book had me in tears. Vivian Paley explores and challenges the commonly accepted practice of letting children exclude each other, showing how socially dominant children use exclusion as a weapon to enforce their dominance and what the negative consequences are for the group as a whole. She proposes a solution that may at first seem idealistic, but is just about building a culture of tolerance and problem-solving, and starting it from the youngest ages. A must-read for any teacher or parent.

Even if You're Not a Teacher, Read This Book

This small, simple book -- and Paley's simple rule of "You can't say you can't play" -- spoke to me in the deep way that only a few books do. Its relevance goes far beyond the kindergarten classroom, which is the setting of Paley's story. The book speaks profoundly of rejection and its consequences -- and proposes a solution ("you can't say . . ."). If you care about children, if you remember being rejected or left out yourself, read this powerful book.

A Must read for ANY person concerned with Violence in School

Vivian Paley has named it for us. The feelings of rejection and dejection begin at and Before Kindergarten, and begin to harden our children to not being accepted and worse, not being acceptable for who they are. Paleys observation to her own subtle encouragement of this unjust system and her subsequent "rule" of You can't say , you can't play is a real eye opener for Teachers of Young Children, Parents and anyone who wants to knwo the real root of the violence which seems to be creeping into the schools. While life isn't fair, it should be made occasionally just and Vivian Plaey has opened my eyes and the eyes of many other teachers.

a must read for anyone working in education!!

Paley's stunning work helps all of us look at our work with children and youth in a new way. In light of recent events in Colorado, this book has even more significance. Paley provides us with the blueprint to creating school environments where all are valued, all have a place, and where none are rejected. I plan to recommend this book to all of my teacher education students. Thanks, Vivian!!

Perfect teacher gift

Vivian Paley's tender observations and patient interactions with Kindergarteners kept me turning the pages of this book long before my own children were pre-school age, or before I had been teaching long enough to realize that this book would become a useful resource for teachers of any age students. I come back to this book all the time to find the truth about how classroom rules and environments can and should be constructed.