You Are Not Alone

by Cathy Hollingsworth, Sylvia Lotter, Denise Farmer, et al.

Book Overview

20 stories of hope, heroism, heartache, and healing as told by the parents of children treated in the NICU. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0966642503
• ISBN13: 9780966642506
• Release Date: September 1998
• Publisher: Philips Children's Medical Ventures, Inc.
• Length: 216 Pages

Customer Reviews

Recommended to anyone who has ever had a baby in the NICU

"Alone" is how parents feel when they first walk into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Spouses even feel alone from each other. Husband and wife have planned and dreamed of this birth together, but a baby born either too soon or sick leaves everyone alone and terrified. The tragedy of this unexpected (but much too frequent) childbirth makes the book, "You Are Not Alone" of tremendous importance to new parents of a baby in the NICU. The many true stories (and their realistic pictures) can help parents to realize that they are in a place where pioneer parents can help them. At the beginning the NICU experience is like being lost in a maze with no end. But "You Are Not Alone" helps new, very lost parents to realize that there are experienced guides that wish to help them. The writers of "You Are Not Alone" are a few of those guides. I recommend this book to anyone who has ever had a baby in the NICU, even it it is decades ago. I also recommend that every tertiary hospital include it in their library of books for parents of high-risk babies and their gift store. And all libraries that believe that books on child rearing are essential should put this on the required list. Michael T. Hynan, PhD, Clinical Psychology from University of Iowa. He has taught in the Psychology Department at U of Wisconsin-Milwaukee since 1974. He is the father of a premature baby, Chris, born in 1980 at 30 weeks gestation weighing 1200 g. Dr. Hynan also does research on Post-traumatic Stress Disorder in high-risk parents. Dr. Hynan is the author of "The Pain of Premature Parents: A Psychological Guide for Coping."

Whatever happens, you too can survive.

For many new parents, there are two major sources of difficulty around coping with having a newborn in the NICU: (1) Fear that their intense feelings are abnormal, and (2) feeling singled out by tragic fate. This book can help. Filled with a wide variety of personal stories written by parents who've "been there," it offers comfort and reassurance to new parents who need to know that others have struggled with situations similar to theirs; that others have felt the same emotions.The mothers and fathers who contributed to this book are not professional writers--some are more eloquent than others. Some parents merely skate on the surface. But to the editor's credit, these are not sugar-coated stories of medical miracles or stoicism. The ups and downs, joys and sorrows, triumphs and fumblings are all here. Some babies survive and thrive, others continue to have medical complications or developmental lags; some babies die. Parents share their fears, challenges and failings, as well as insights, lessons learned and blessings found. They admit that while dealing with a sick baby is a labor of love, it also takes a lot of patience, time, and energy. It's not easy. But therein lies the richness of their lives.As new parents read these stories, they will be struck by the fact that their own deep feelings of anger, guilt, helplessness, fear, and despair are normal, not crazy or overreacting. They can see that other parents have emerged from the dark days in the NICU. They'll come away empowered, knowing that they can face their baby's fate and their emotions. Most importantly, they'll acquire hope--that whatever happens, they too can survive.By Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. Psychologist and author of "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart," Fulcrum, 1991; 1996; co-author of "The Emotional Journey of Parenting Your Premature Baby," NICU Ink, in progress.

Each story is testimony to the courage of human spirit!

"You Are Not Alone" is a collection of stories written by parents who have experienced the profound anguish of having their fragile newborns transferred immediately after birth to the life support systems of neonatal intensive care units.Most of the stories are about babies who were extremely premature, but space is also given to full-term babies born critically ill due to unexpected complications. Each story is unique in language and detail, but common features of the experience emerge - feelings of intense fear and danger, the tilting of a once-benevolent universe into something boundless and unpredictable, the loneliness and alienation that accompanies the loss of a precious dream.Each story is testimony to the courage and tenacity of human spirit. For parents who have known the unexpected birth of a critically ill baby, the stories help make sense of the experience. There is tremendous comfort and reassurance to be found in these pages. For families and friends who may feel at a loss to know how to support parents at the center of such a crisis, "You Are Not Alone" provides insight and guidance."You Are Not Alone" is beautifully presented and illustrated. The stories are accompanied by photographs that span the range from medically fragile newborn to bright-eyed adolescent. Not all babies survive, and this is a true reflection of reality. Not all the babies emerge unscathed from the nightmare of their early life, and this is also reality.Children's Medical Ventures is to be congratulated for producing a book that speaks directly to parents, which recognizes the depth of their experience, and the life-affirming journey towards healing. The subtitle of "You Are Not Alone" speaks of heroism, and this is the underlying message of the book - that the NICU experience is darker and more difficult than most of us can ever imagine, but we are also stronger than we could have imagined.Anne Casey, mother of a premature baby and founder of the internet support group Preemie-l