You Are a Dog: Life Through the Eyes of Man's Best Friend

by Terry Bain

A hilarious, captivating commentary that gives us--finally--a true dog s-eye view of the world. The Sofa: The sofa is Position One. The sofa makes you feel as if you are with your people even when... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1400052424
• Release Date: October 2004
• Publisher: Crown
• Length: 160 Pages
• Weight: 0.56 lbs.
• Dimensions: 7.8" x 0.8" x 5.3"

Customer Reviews

Vacuums and other beasties that eat off the floor

YOU ARE A DOG: Life Through the Eyes of Man's Best Friend by Terry Bain is an entertaining romp with words as they might have been written by the family dog. Mr. Bain reveals to readers that the family dog is quite aware that you have many names for her; but more interesting is the dog's many names for the family members, names such as: He Who Leaves the Seat Up So That You Might Drink (it has been my experience with dogs that it is usually the male dog that drinks out of the toilet, not the female); He Who Smells of Garlic, Tastes of Salt, and Will Let You Lick His Feet (Grandpa?); She Who Does Not Allow Licking Ever (Mother-in-Law?); She Who Drops Food From Her Plate (and always has a diaper full), are but a few of these titles the family dog bestows on its family members. YOU ARE A DOG informs the reader of the dog's relationship with the household itself, including his relationship with the furniture, the sofa monopolizing much of the spotlight. Terry Bain speaks of the dog's ability to mimic human expressions, especially the smile, which the dog often uses to deflect a scolding when he has been caught sleeping on the sofa. (In my house, it is the love seat, which my Border collie, heeler, and Boxer mix mutt sleeps on every night. I need to share with you here, dear reader, that this mix of mutt is the nuttiest on four legs, sometimes two. Her name is Maggie Peppers; but as crazy as she is, she would never drink out of the toilet: However, the male cat does, every chance he gets.) Most significant of the household items to the family dog is the vacuum cleaner. While most all threats to the family members arrive from the outside in, the vacuum is already in the house, hiding in the closet, which is quite agitating to the family dog. She can smell the vacuum hiding in the hall closet, just waiting to burst, roaring, from its hiding place, intent on eating everyone and everything in its path. It is the dog's responsibility, therefore, to see to it this monster does not eat the kids, and that any food or nonfood items on the floor are eaten by the dog only. Hence, the vacuum is not only a danger to the family, but also a competitor for food, and must be destroyed, at all cost. Terry Bain writes humorously about Fido's perception of training, traveling, visits to the vet, health and hygiene, and even doggie politics. If you are a dog lover, you will love this book. Highly recommended.

A Review by She Who Laughed at the Book

This book had me laughing out loud and looking at my own dogs - funny enough in their own right - in a whole new light. Mr. Bain has taken the dog psyche to a whole new level and if you thought you knew what your dog was thinking, well think again. This book will make you laugh, get the warm tinglies, and will have you refilling that water bowl with FRESH water (thank you very much) on a regular basis.

Funny, yet moving and oddly beautiful

If you've ever known and loved a dog, you'll find a kindred spirit in this book, which captures the true essence of dogginess in a way that is both lighthearted yet oddly philosophical, and yes, beautiful. Those of us who do love dogs know the truth of their souls, and this book captures that, along with the true humor that is also dog. A book for you, and for every dog lover you know. I can't recommend it highly enough.

This witty, tender book is filled with goodness and grace.

I am afraid of dogs and this fear is something intrinsic in me that I wish I could change. If I'd read Terry Bain's book "You Are A Dog" sooner - or better yet, if I'd had the book read to me when I was young after being traumatized by that great Dane who knocked me on my butt - I might be able to offer my face to a dog to lick. I know, now, what licking means to a dog. How else can they know you? From a distance? There is no distance with a dog. That's cats. "They (your people) taste better than you do. Why do they taste so good? And furthermore, since they taste so good, why do they not lick themselves. It must not nag them as it nags at you. It seems to make no sense that they would not lick themselves, so when given the opportunity, when their skin is bare and you are nearby, you lick them. Some of them will tolerate this, but some of them will not. She Who Will Not Tolerate Licking will push you away and yell "Gross. Knock it off you stupid mutt." Whatever that means. You suspect she doesn't want you to lick her anymore,which still doesn't make any sense, so when given the opportunity, when her skin is bare and you are near, you will lick her. You are not deterred for long, since she often leaves the tastiest parts of her skin exposed, and you do not have the willpower to stay away. You want her to know how important it is to lick the places on her body that remain unlicked, and you will lick until she pushes you away again. "Are you stupid or something? Knock it off!" It is a kind of love-tap that she gives you. A gentle nudge. You know that this is her secret joy, so in a moment, you will begin again. Her guard is about to come down. She has almost forgotten that you are nearby. There it is. You see it. A sleeveless arm." My fear has always seemed unfixable. I didn't grow up in a family that cared about dogs, (why didn't they?), so what little I could learn from the pets of friends and relatives was spotty, vicarious, start and stop. What I missed out on was not just having a dog to love, but being on the receiving end of dog love, which, if you read this gift of a book, you will understand to be pure, uncontrollable, constant but always fresh, never begrudging because dogs have nothing to hold back and everything to gain. And this seems a lesson that's not too late to learn. When I finished "You Are A Dog" my heart felt pried open. Great books make you less afraid of yourself. They touch sad, dark places and offer you their warm hand. I went to the back porch and talked to Eddie, our chocolate Lab. "Hey, boy, what're you doing?" I opened my palm to him and he didn't bite, he licked, like it was nothing new, like I'd always been okay with this. It felt nice, wet, like forgiveness, except that he never held not-licking against me. What I understand now is that to Eddie, trust is grass, sniff, kibble, water, sky, birds, ball, fetch, more fetch, nap, wake, new day, cheese, his people, me.

I started giggling and couldn't stop

This is one of those books that you begin to read and are immediately compelled to find someone to read an excerpt to so you can giggle together. If you read it on a bus, you might find yourself reading outloud to complete strangers. If you are looking for a great gift for a dog loving friend - this is the answer! As a dog trainer and behavior consultant who looks at life through the eyes of dogs every day, I believe Terry has captured the essence of what it must be like to 'be' a dog. -Carol A. Byrnes Diamonds in the Ruff www.diamondsintheruff.com