Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind

by Michael J. Bradley

Book Overview

An indispensable how-to manual for parents raising teenagers in today's crazy world. The fear-based techniques of the past no longer work, says the author, who advocates an entirely new approach for... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0936197447
• Release Date: November 2002
• Publisher: Harbor Press, Inc.
• Length: 363 Pages
• Weight: 1.28 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.2" x 0.8" x 6.1"

Customer Reviews

very helpful book

it's the best book about parenting i've ever read. the book gave a lot of clues how to cope with difficult situations, how to stay calm, how to react in different situations, how to set boundaries. now i have good clues and i am trying to implement them. this is a book that every parent must read! thank you very much Michael Bradey for conveying your knowledge and experience to parents who need it. this book must be translated to as many languages as possible, so that parents all over the world could read it.

I thought I'd lost my mind/where did my perfect daughter go?

Our daughter was absolutely a delight! She's beautiful inside and out, makes straight "A's," liked to hang out with her father and I, had special days with just me where we'd just hang together, at HER request, loved to read, hated boys or talking on the phone; it was amazing! I had already imagined her high school years, homecoming queen, valedictorian...I found out last month that she's been sneaking out of her room and has had sex with her boyfriend...at 14 years old. She dresses so strangely, hardly speaks to us, wants to "die" over the "dumbest" things. I felt like I wanted to die, to tell you the truth. She is my "baby," younger by 10 years than her next sibling, and the light of my life. Although we've gone for counseling and things have changed a bit, I still was raging inside...at her, at god, at my husband, I couldn't seem to get a grip on this. Me, who believes all things are exactly as they are meant to be, couldn't find peace and acceptance in this. Finally, a few days ago, I asked the angels or "someone" to please help me. That day I went to the bookstore and "for some reason" found this book. It has changed my life. It's still not easy but at least I realize I'm not alone, I haven't lost my mind, there isn't anything I could've done differently, it's just that she's a teenager.I recommend this book to everyone, whether you're having trouble or not, it will help you understand why teenagers act the way they do. I only wish there was an audio version so we could listen to it in the car, I know it will take my husband forever to finish it. Good luck to you all!

from the trenches...

Get the book and read it... Memorize it and practice Dr. Bradley's suggestions until they become your first reaction to the teenage craziness around you. I don't say this casually. I say this because I know, for a fact, what Bradley says works. It works when nothing else seems to and when you are absolutely certain you have no idea where that ex-child, now crazy person, came from. Less humorously...his suggestions work when you are desperately close to watching your son or daughter become a statistic. It works when nothing else has and, believe me, if you are at this point in his or her life, nothing else might. Simply put, Dr. Bradley saved my son. Now, he will say that I did, and I may have been the one who was mouthing the words and acting the part, but the words were his and the role was his, both borne from years of sensitive and insightful counseling of parents and their teenagers. I know. I sat on the couch across from his. He watched and listened and I was hysterical. He made the same suggestions (quietly and dispassionately!) to me in my insanity that he shares in his book. He pounded them into my head and I became convinced of a few things: my son was crazy and I was his anchor. It is a few years later and my son and I are emerging from the insanity of those years, but I keep the book close by and I read and reread his words and I hear them echo and I vow always to follow them: "dispassionate cop" "short sentences, few syllables" "apologize (me, not my son)." Of course, I sometimes fail, but teenagers have a generous way of providing more opportunities to practice. I knew I had been given one of those chances and succeeded when I responded calmly, and dispassionately in a short sentence of few syllables and my son said, "Mom...stop that, because...it...it is....working." Bradley's knowledge in this area is broad and deep, his suggestions are easy to understand, his book is poignant, clear, and frantic-parent friendly. His humor is readily evident and heartening. Reading the book is almost as good as sitting in a session with him...seriously. Read it seriously. Follow it seriously. It works...seriously. Thanks, Dr. Bradley.

Eric's Review

This book offers much insight into the teenage mind. Being an average teenager myself, reading this book really helped me understand, well, Me! I was astonished by the wisdom offered by Dr. Bradley. I will warn that this book is for parenting but can be used as a guide for the MATURE teen too. This is a well organized guide to becoming a more educated parent for your teenager! Dr. Bradley helps us see that the parents and the teenagers, are all fighting the same battle, those dreadful Teenage Years. I highly recommend this book. "Yes Your Teen is Crazy" expands and updates one's mind in the scary realm known as the teenager. Buy this book!

Teenage Trials Viewed as a Temporary Mental Disorder

Before reading this review, you should know that this book contains language and subjects that would cause it to exceed an ?R? rating if it were a motion picture. These vulgarities, sexual references, and violence are essential to the book?s content. The author also apologizes for the need to employ them. If your teenager had a serious case of the flu, you would be sympathetic and helpful. When the same teenager acts in ways you disagree with, are you inclined to be unsympathetic and challenging? Dr. Bradley argues in this intriguing book that your reaction should be very similar. Both are usually natural occurrences of body dysfunctions from which your teen will recover. Although that may sound like a psychological metaphor, Dr. Bradley points out that research with MRIs shows that the growth of the corpus callosum (which coordinates cross-brain functions) and development of the prefrontal cortex (which civilizes responses that the ?old brain? stimulates) are both occurring during the teenage years. Until those brain developments are more complete, your teen will react in bizarre ways that she or he will be unable to explain. I found that way of thinking about teenage behavior to be fascinating. My own description of the teenage years experienced by our children was that boys? behavior generally went downhill until age 13 when it bottomed out, to begin gradually improving thereafter. For girls, the decline in behavior seemed to begin around 13, and started to improve after age 20.Dr. Bradley points out that teens have always been like this. So what has changed? ?We?ve created a world dripping with sex, drugs, and violence and plunked our temporarily insane children in the middle of it.? Parents often treat their teens as though they can handle it. ?The fact is that cannot handle ?it? and they know this.? ?Teens left on their own as small adults not only . . . [make serious mistakes], they become depressed and rageful in the bargain.? Dr. Bradley?s descriptions of the increased exposure to these influences on television, at home, in school, and with friends will leave you convinced that we have a more toxic environment for today?s teenagers. He cites many case histories and statistics to make his points very compelling. The solution is for parents to change, and become a more positive influence on their teens. I was especially moved by his observation that parents need to stop mourning for their younger, happy, well-behaved child who will not return any time soon. He offers ten commandments for being a good parent:(1) Behave and think dispassionately; (2) Listen well and support emotionally;(3) Say little in a pleasant way;(4) Take the time you need to make an appropriate response;(5) Forget your personal pride in finding a response;(6) Avoid being physical, even friendly gestures can be annoying to teens;(7) Apologize for anything you have done wrong;(8) Accept the identity your teen is trying out;(9) Be true