Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life

by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema

Book Overview

"Groundbreaking research . . . Women Who Think Too Much tells why overthinking occurs, why it hurts people, and how to stop." --USA Today

It's no surprise that our fast-paced, overly self-analytical culture is pushing many people--especially women--to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this overthinking, and her groundbreaking...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0805075259
• ISBN13: 9780805075250
• Release Date: February 2004
• Publisher: Holt Paperbacks
• Length: 273 Pages
• Weight: 0.61 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.4" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

a big help

i have been an overthinker since before i can remember. i tend to make situations worse by thinking about them too much and concentrating on the negative possibilities to the point that i feel that these negative things have actually happened. it's a really destructive habit to have. this book really helped me see that i was not alone and gave suggestions for actual steps to take to stop overthinking. for example, using positive distractions like taking a walk whenever overthinking starts. one of the most useful points in the book was that if you overthink, you're letting the thoughts win - the other person wins the battle if you continue to overthink about a conflict. there are tons of other useful suggestions and statements in the book - i took notes as i read it so i could refer to them in the future. i definitely am not completely free of overthinking, but i do realize more often when i am doing it and am able to curtail it. i also can better deal with overthinking nowadays. i definitely recommend this book to anyone who is plagued with overthinking and negative thoughts and ruminations.

Excellent Book On Breaking Free From Overthinking

Women Who Think Too Much came out earlier this year, and I gobbled it up in two sittings. Several people have borrowed this book from me, and have found it incredibly insightful. (And not all have been women, either!) This book features a breakthrough new method that teaches you how to free yourself from the negative cycles of overthinking. What is overthinking? Nolen-Hoeksma, a professor of Psychology, contends that our society is both fast-paced and overly-self-analytical. The self-help section in bookstores bulge with upteen ways to analyze yourself and gaze at your bellybutton. With this self-analysis comes over-thinking--and Nolen-Hoeksema has discovered that women are more prone to overthink than men. Women spend countless hours fruitlessly thinking about negative ideas, feelings, experiences, and relationships. The result of this over-thinking? A huge number of women are feeling sad, anxious, or seriously depressed. The author provides case studies, but they aren't presented in a dry, intellectual tone. She connects the dots between the research and how it impacts women in their day-to-day lives. Chapter titles include What's Wrong With OverThinking?, Married to My Worries: Overthinking Intimate Relationships, Always On The Job: Overthinking Work and Careers, and ten other chapters. The great thing about this book is that it doesn't just talk about why overthinking is bad for mental, emotional, and even physical health, but also provides several chapters on how to break free from overthinking and move to higher ground. In the Chapter If It Hurts So Much, Why Do We Do It?, the author explains fascinating discoveries in brain science, and how when we think of one bad thing, it usually cascades into a torrent of negative thoughts and emotions. She writes: "The organization of our brain sets us up for overthinking. Each little thought and memory we hold in our mind does not sit there isolated and independent from other thoughts. Instead, our thoughts are woven together in intricate networks of associations...This intricate organization of the brain into in interconnected networks of memories, thoughts, and feelings greatly increases our efficiency of thinking. It's what helps us see similarities and connections between issues...But our spiderweb of a brain also makes it easy to overthink. In particular, the fact that negative mood connects negative thoughts and memories, even when these thoughts and memories have nothing else to do with one another, sets us up for overthinking. When you are in a bad mood for any reason, your mood activates--literally lights up--those nodes of your brain that hold negative memories from the past and negative ways of thinkings. This makes them highly accessible: it's easier to get there with your conscious thoughts. This is why it is easier to think of negative things when you are in a bad mood than when you are in a good mood. It is also easier to see interconnections between the bad things in your life whe

Best Self Help I've Read

I feel fortunate to have "happened" upon this book. For years I have experienced overthinking and just thought I was crazy. Not only am I conforted to know I have a lot of company--in the erratic fly-off the handle line of thinking--but the author gives tactics following explanations that can put you back on a saner path. She has a user friendly format. THe only question I have of the author (or editor)--why did she feel the reader needed to know the color of everyone of her subjects' hair and eyes?

Overthinking in the context of other thinking issues

I absolutely agree that Susan Nolen-Hoeksema's new book "Women Who Think Too Much" is the best book available on Overthinking (she is the genuine expert) and an essential addition to any library on improving thinking styles. Of course, which book is most helpful and insightful for a particular individual depends heavily on that individual's temperament, cognitive style, and philosphy of life. "Optimal Thinking" by R. Glickman is an excellent book for realists. Optimists likely would prefer "Positive Thinking" by Vera Peiffer, and pessimists tend to like "The Positive Power of Negative Thinking" by J. Norem. And so on. Effective thinking is a big, complex, and significant issue in human life and relationships. "Women Who Think Too Much" is a very nice and very helpful contribution to the pool of available books, and Susan Nolen-Hoeksema is a thoughtful and clear writer. Her focus on 'overthinking' is an important warning on the well researched dangers of rumination and hopeless pessimism. Yet it is also important to note that there is a type of pessimistic thinking that is very constructive (for some people) because it is anticipatory reflection about what might go wrong in the near future, playing through worst case scenarios to manage anxiety about upcoming events and challenges adaptively. This is very different from pessimistic rumination about the past (which is hopeless). Equally important to note is that unrealistic optimists tend to be 'underthinkers' in unhealthy ways. So appreciate this excellent book "Women Who Think Too Much" but don't forget that No One Size (or model of psychological health) fits all of us.

Strategies to help stop OverThinking

The author explains how "overthinking" is more than ordinary worrying, different than OCD, and distinct from self-reflective 'deep' thinking. She describes overthinking as ruminating mostly about the past, whereas most worrying is thinking about what might happen in the future (which can be a constructive form of negative thinking). Overthinking easily gets out of control, becoming rant-and-rave or chaotic. The distinctions and definitions in the book make good sense and are based on years of credible research. I like the way the author is particularly sensitive to the pressures in contemporary society that increase overthinking -- she is especially perceptive to the situation of women in America today. The most helpful parts of the book are summarized in several 2-page sections called "A Quick Reference Guide" and these are very useful strategies for daily life. Overall, this is an excellent and well written self-help book for general readers. I think of it as the long, serious version of the both humorous and helpful semi-Zen, not-thinking 'Do Nothing Exercises' in Karen Salmansohn's book "How To Change Your Entire Life By Doing Absolutely Nothing." Working on strategies for healthier thinking is definitely a worthwhile personal project.