It's hard being Lillian Belle Rosemary Cleary. And if I didn't know that already, Bonita, my legal secretary supreme and secondary therapist, kept reminding me. Carita, she said, shaking her head and handing me the pink highlighter at my hyperventilated request so that I could mark another obscure legal point I needed to memorize for my upcoming appellate argument. You make this so much more difficult than it needs to be. So spank...