Why Men Leave: Men Talk about Why They Decided to End the Relationship--And What Might Have Changed Their Minds

by Brenda Shoshanna

Book Overview

An exploration of the reasons men break off relationships, both long and short term, discusses the results of hundreds of interviews with men, analyzing their perspectives, insights, and explanations.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0399525068
• ISBN13: 9780399525063
• Release Date: June 1999
• Publisher: Perigee Books
• Length: 352 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.1" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

A Fantastic and Practical Book.

This is a fantastic book. It never blames men for leaving. In fact, one of the core messages of the book is about "putting an end to blaming". To the "disgusted" reader from disgusted USA who wrote the nasty review - Unfortunately, many people are not so blessed as to have what you have, and need guidance, support and advice. It seems that you are looking a gift horse in the mouth by lacking such humility, and trying to make others feel ashamed for not having yet found a loving relationship.WHY MEN LEAVE is a serious analytical case study of many relationships from the male point of view, and why they did and did not work. The author is obviously an astute psychologist who has extensive real world experience. I found the exercises and step by step guidance provided by Dr. Shoshanna to be extremely insightful, practical and powerful in helping me establish the healthist relationship of my life. Thank you Dr. Shoshanna. I highly recommend this book in support of all the readers out there who still seek a loving relationship and the guidance needed to get there.

Understanding and Breaking Patterns

This book was such a huge help to me. It is actually what got me over my "hurdle" (of relationship patterns, negativity and hang-ups). The title is misleading. I bought it not for that, but based on reviews. And to understand why I was having such a hard time even accepting a date anymore. I was about to settle into being a "content" single, when I knew it was not what I really wanted. I knew I could be happier. It helped me realize the difference between a complete and incomplete relationship. It helped me let go of the low self esteem, I didn't know I had, and blame for both parties. And become myself again. I didn't even realize how much my last relationship changed who I was and how I view what a relationship is.

An Illuminating Experience

As a man, this is not normally the type of book I would buy. But so many men referred it to me, I had to see what it was about. Rarely have I encountered a book so compassionate to both men and women, and so filled with profound psychological, philosophical and spiritual truths. Don't be swayed by its popular title: this is as profound and meaningful book as one could hope to find, and as important to men as was IRON JOHN. It gave me deep insights into the male psyche that I had never considered before, and kept me up half the night with its engrossing stories. If you read one book on psychology or relationships this year, this should be it.

Truly Insightful

Dr. Shoshanna has written a book filled with insight (sometimes alarmingly so) of the way men who leave think about themselves and the women they are attracted to. Directly from their own words I came to understand that some men covet their fantasies so much that they could not possibly be in a real relationship. Other men express how their pain from past experiences keeps them so defended they could not be present either. Some men prefer adventure and others want to recapture the energy from their past. She has covered a wide range of perspectives.One thing women can learn from this book is that what they did and who they are is probably not to blame for why men leave them. It's more likely that they unknowingly pick men who were never really their in the first place. By reading this book they can begin to recognize these men before getting too involved and save themselves the pain.Men can learn to understand their own feelings better, help them through rough spots and gain insight when they are tempted to leave a good relationship or tempted to stay in a bad one.Dr. Shoshanna's insights and commentary along the way help to clarify the pattern. And she offers helpful suggestions to women and men in a particular situation or working with a certain pattern.This is a unique presentation of men's thinking and feeling. I found it fascinating. I read it from cover to cover.

An engrossing and profound experience.

To be brief, I now have an understanding of relationships I never had before. I highly recommend this book to both men and women who are involved in, or have been involved in a serious relationship. Thank you Dr. Shoshanna.