Why Me

by Donald E. Westlake

Book Overview

Having unsuspectingly lifted the hottest gem in town, John Dortmunder becomes the prey of the FBI, the New York City police, terrorist groups from three nations, and all of New York's petty and... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0670765694
• ISBN13: 9780670765690
• Release Date: February 1983
• Publisher: Viking Books
• Length: 191 Pages
• Weight: 0.97 lbs.

Customer Reviews

The Fickle Finger of Fate Fingers a Felon!

This book will delight anyone who finds the "value-added" features of telephones (such as call waiting, call forwarding, caller ID, and answering machines) to be annoying. John Dortmunder does, too, especially after his friend, Andy Kelp, becomes addicted to all of these features. John Dortmunder is your basic everyday, unlucky, but hard-working burglar. In Why Me, he spots a sign on Skoukakis Credit Jewelers in South Ozone Park in Queens that the owner is away on vacation. Noting that the door's alarm box is an easy one to by-pass, he plans a late night return trip. While alarms ring in the distance, he's started when a car pulls up in front, and someone climbs out. He dives behind a display counter just before someone opens the door. The entrant is followed by more men, and they all talk in a foreign language. The safe door is opened and closed. Eventually, they leave. With good fortune, he finds that the safe is also an easy one to handle. Soon, he has it open, and starts removing the contents. He took some diamond bracelets, a few sets of earrings, an assortment of jeweled brooches, and a few rings. He notices a single box with a ring set with a suspiciously large red stone. "Now why would any jeweler pub a fake stone like this in his safe?" He decides to take it along, and let a fence tell him if it's valuable. That turns out to be an enormous mistake.The stone is actually a historically important one, the Byzantine Fire, which has just been stolen by a band of Greeks from its courier who is taking it to be returned to the Turkish government. The rest of the story involves the consequences of this unwitting heist. The heat is really on, and only Andy Kelp and his girl friend May are on Dortmunder's side as he tries to avoid the consequences of being the object of an international manhunt. Dortmunder quickly gives up on the notion of trying to make any money from the gem. After all, every fence in New York is being watched and no one would buy it. He decides to give it back, but the police won't cooperate. They want his head on the wall. Now, how will Dortmunder get out of this one? That's the mystery of this story.In typical fashion for a Dortmunder story, there's enormous humor about the stupidity of life . . . and an ironical twist to almost every situation. As with most stories in the series, there's a scene where barflies mangle words, quotes and ideas in very original and hilarious fashion.This story is about as simple as the Dortmunder stories get, but it is all the more appealing for its intensification of the overhanging problem of how you get out from between a rock and a hard place.After you finish this story, think about some time when you were faced with a seemingly impossible situation. How did you find a solution? How can that solution help you with other difficult situations in the future?

How To Win Friends...

John Dortmunder still operates with plenty of luck going his way. Unfortunately, it's still all bad. From the master of sticky situations and the brilliant, yet doomed to failure plans to overcome them, comes another Westlake farce highlighting the incredibly unlucky Dortmunder.John inadvertently steals a large and very important ruby and sapphire ring that had in turn, just been stolen before it was to be given to Turkey. The resulting manhunt and shaking down of every known criminal in New York has not only the NYPD and the FBI on his tail, but also every known criminal in New York wants a piece of him too. So the question is, how can Dortmunder evade the police, the Feds, some terrorists and the entire criminal element of New York, and still somehow come up smelling of roses with a cleared name? How indeed!In an ironic twist, compared to his adventures in The Hot Rock where he couldn't get hold of a valuable jewel no matter how ingenious the plan, Dortmunder know finds himself racking his brain trying to get rid of a similarly valuable jewel - safely, anyway.Once again, Westlake provides a humorous story where, if anything can go wrong then it will. The predicament that Dortmunder finds himself in is typical of his unfortunate run of luck and is the reason that these books are so enjoyable.

Ohmygawd!

In my house, I have a shelf for books that reach an unmatched level of perfection. Inbetween Hawthorne's "Blithdale Romance" and a battered, but loved Curious George lurks Westlake's Dortmunder books. They have all been read and reread, stained with tears of laughter and cheap gin, dog eared copies that only a collector could love. "Why Me" is my favorite and as priceless to me as a 80 year old New York grandmother giving the finger to an oblivious passing cab. Westlake can do it all, but his true unrecognized talent is bringing New York to life with a group of small time crooks and John Dortmunder as their tired and beaten leader. What should be an easy jewelry store robbery, leaves Dortmunder with a priceless ring and everybody out to get him. Oh sure, some people will complain that they could follow the story without difficultly and there weren't enough "the-cereal-killer-had-a-twin-brother-who-just-happened-to-work-at-the-police-department" twists, but they are missing the rock-um, sock-um robot pacing and kidney stone passing laughs that only Westlake can deliver. Without hesitation, I recommend all of Westlake's books, but if you have to start with just one, I suggest "Why Me." It's a frickin' masterpiece.

Another Dortmunder Treasure

The Byzantine Fire is a magnificient ruby set in a ring coveted by various Eastern European political groups. When it is presented to the Turkish people by the people of the US, it is immediately stolen by the Greeks and placed in a safe. Unfortunately, hiding behind a counter near the safe is the irrepressible Dortmunder, out for a night on the job. His job-burglary. The ring is so valuable that the FBI joins the NYPD and the various political groups in the hunt for the ring. The resulting heat on the criminal community becomes so intense that the criminals decide to hunt for the thief themselves. Figuring prominently in this hunt is the menacing giant Tiny Bulcher, who looks to commit bodily mayhem on several persons in his hunt for the thief. This book is a masterpiece of comedic writing and timing. As always, Westlake's chapters are brief and to the point with more laughs packed in one 3 page chapter than an entire Saturday Night Live season. The action skips from group to group as the hunt begins. Also as always, we have the usual Westlake set pieces-Andy Kelp's latest scheme, the backroom of OJ's, and Dortmunder's frustration with Kelp. In one scene, we are treated to Dortmunder sitting in the police station with the ring stuck on his finger, trying to keep it hidden from his interrogaters. All in all this is another tour de force from Westlake. Have the French critics discovered him yet?