Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought about You After Your Date

by Rachel Greenwald

Book Overview

This follow-up to the bestselling "Find a Husband After 35" illuminates surprising errors made during and after the first date and offers solutions that empower women to choose the men they really want to date.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0307406539
• ISBN13: 9780307406538
• Release Date: April 2009
• Publisher: Crown Publishing Group (NY)
• Length: 289 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 5.9" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

There are reasons why he didn't call back...

And this book really lets you know why. It's not like 'he's just not that into you', this is real men giving real quotes and telling it like it is. The true may hurt, sure, but it can set you free. I am so glad I took the time to run across this one and really try to understand its message, which is: men are unpredictable and it's better to know what you're up against rather than not. I'd suggest this one to just about anyone, along with Sexy and Confident: How To Be The Dreamgirl Men Want, Have a Better Life and Improve Your Self-Esteem. Both have helped me gain better knowledge of men and helped improve my self confidence when it comes to dating.

Good info....maybe too good!

I've just gotten back into the dating game after a 4 year hiatus, so I felt like I needed some information to help get me started. This book was really informative and I found myself relating to a few of the personality profiles Greenwald uses in the book - The Ex Factor, The Boss Lady, and unfortunately The Closer. YIKES! It's no wonder I've had so many failed dates! I read this book and then put it into practice with a guy I'd met online and went out with for the first time last week. Upon first seeing him, instantly I knew I wasn't going to feel a love connection, but I thought, heck, this is good practice for someone I would like to see again, so I put what I read into action. I didn't lead him on, I haven't said anything about catching up again, calling him again, or "see you soon." But, I did tell him thank you for dinner and that I'd had a nice night. Not only has he called, but he's texted me, and emailed me to ask me out again on two different occasions. Hmmmm..... maybe this book works a little too well!!

Better Than Steve Harvey's Book

I've been a dating sista' for a long while now and I have to admit I've read a bunch of dating books, but this was one of the most helpful. Steve Harvey is so funny (and cute!) and he's right about raising my standards, but he doesn't say how to really find my man. This was very helpful because of all the quotes from real guys...you could just hear them thinking these things in their minds on their dates. Turns out I'm a classic "One Way Street" by the way. I could recognize myself perfectly...and I thought this author's advice was dead on. This book had a real effect on me. (By the way, my cousin works in magazine publishing and got me an advanced reading copy last week, so this comment is based on that). Wish me luck in that big, bad dating world!

Getting Inside the Mind of a Man - The Hard Way!

Rachel Greenwald's latest, "Why He Didn't Call You Back", is the book that could have been written by any number of men, but wasn't. What she learned after meticulously interviewing 1000 guys on "exit interviews" is the very information that can change women's lives on a dime. It's the stuff that guys talk about with each other about why they REALLY don't feel a connection - and a lot of it is hard to hear. As they say, the truth hurts - especially when some of it seems unfair and hypocritical. But as the author of "Why You're Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad" and as a dating coach whose primary clients are smart, successful single women from 30-65, I can tell you that every single thing in Greenwald's book is a potential teaching tool. These are the same issues I hear from my amazing women clients day in and day out. Men don't respond to bossy women, gold-diggers, downers, desperation, high-maintenance, or women who are all about themselves - their jobs, their friends, their accomplishments. Yes, they want attractive, but they also want want intelligence, kindness, fun, and nurturing. This isn't really news. You may think this only applies to other women that you know. It does not. In fact, the big statistical take-away I got from this book is that 78 percent of women surveyed believed that a man hadn't called her back for reasons beyond her control - "chemistry", "he's just not that into me", "he's intimidated by me". The truth is, 85% of men felt the exact opposite - that there were very specific things that women did which created a negative impression that men couldn't look past. While this can easily arouse indignation, Greenwald encourages you to recognize that you probably the same thing when you're on dates with men. Dissecting the way what he wore, where he took you, how he reached for the check, how he talked about his ex or his job or his family. So why isn't there a book called "Why She Didn't Call You Back"? Because, like I wrote in "Why You're Still Single", men wouldn't actually read it. 90% of the self-help market is for women and since neither you or me or Greenwald can change men, all we can do is create self-awareness by laying out, once and for all, what men REALLY think. And while a lot of it isn't pretty, Greenwald doesn't just tell you what you're doing wrong, but gives subtle course-correction hints on how to get it right. She truly cares about women and doesn't demonize them in this book. All she does is shed light on the dark corners of the male mind so that you can either adjust (or not adjust) accordingly. The other real eye-opener is what she suggests to women in the future. Exit interviews. In other words, it's impossible to get present to the unintentional signals you're giving off if you never hear what they are. Imagine if MEN did this - if they actually asked for specific feedback on how they could improve on their dates and what they did to turn you off. I

I recommend Why He Didn't Call You Back

For full disclosure, I also really liked Rachel's first book, the Find A Husband After 35 one. In this book, she again speaks logically, and it's well written but with some sass. I guess compared to other dating books that are mostly fluff, with this one and her last one, you can "get it" by understanding the logic that's behind the recommendations. Frankly, even if you don't think you'll get much help from it, it's so much fun to listen in on what guys are really thinking. I admit that I ask my girlfriends all the time about why some jerk didn't call me back...and it's so annoying not to know why. This book really helps you figure that out. Again, I would recommend it if you're an active dater. The main point is to learn from this research into guy's thoughts and actions so you can realize how guys perceive little innocent things you say and then get more second dates where you can really get to know each other beyond the superficial stuff. Very helpful.