Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns That Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship

by Susan Magee and Jeffrey Bernstein

Book Overview

Most people think that poor communication is the reason why so many relationships end, but it's actually the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. In Why Can't You Read My Mind?, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals-for the first time-the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually every relationship, and shows couples how these distorted, negative, exaggerated...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1569244758
• ISBN13: 9781569244753
• Release Date: November 2003
• Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
• Length: 210 Pages
• Weight: 0.57 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

Changed my life

This is the most amazing book I have ever stumbled across. It not only gave me a new perspective on love and relationships but I was able to incorporate the logic of it into all areas of my life. I've recommended it to friends left and right. This is definitely a must read.

This Book Saved My Marriage!

Before we found this book, my husband and I were highly discourgaged and didn't think there were any solutions to repair our miserable relationship. All I can say is that this book finally stopped us from resenting and blaming each other for the crumbling of our marriage. I had seen Dr. Bernstein on the Today Show a while ago when they had a segment on toxic relationships and I remembered the title, Why Can't You Read My Mind? This book helped us to understand and appreciate each other in ways we never have before. I only wish that I had bought it before our relationship got so bad. My advice is don't wait till the 11th hour to read this outstanding book.

Very eye-opening!!

This book really makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, I found myself saying "wow, i do that"....A LOT. For me, and i would guess most people when they are having relationship problems get to a point where they think they have done everything they can to fix it....when really we do just the opposite. I always considered myself extremely giving and open and my partner totally selfish, and reading this book made me realize how selfish i am. I think this book is a great tool for looking at our own behavior..Also, it gives plenty of great examples and ways to improve.

It Works!

I agree with the first reviewer, it's crazy, but this book really does make a difference and fast. I learned that I'm a Blame thinker and an All or Nothing thinker when it comes to my relationship. The scary thing is, negative thoughts about my fiance, who won't move forward and set a date, are very automatic. I'm working now to break the habit. I'm glad I read this book.

A Real Eye Opener

I read several good relationship books (including Relationship Rescue) but this book really does bring to light a problem I never knew I had--toxic thinking. Just since reading the book over the weekend, I've already improved my relationship with my husband of nine years. I know this sounds crazy but it's true. The author really gets you thinking about how you think about your relationship and sometimes it's not very positive. Though it's very common sense, it's just not the kind of thing I would have realized on my own. I also like the author's style, very upbeat and fun, not at all psycho babbly like a lot of congnitive relationship books.