When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents

by Jim Comer

Book Overview

After his father suffered a massive stroke and his mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Jim Comer found himself an overnight "parent" at the age of 51. When he walked into his father's hospital room everyone looked to him as the "man who knew all the answers." He soon realized he didn't even know the questions.

In ten years of caregiving, Comer has not only learned the questions he has lived them, and with When Roles Reverse he...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1571745009
• ISBN13: 9781571745002
• Release Date: August 2006
• Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company
• Length: 328 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.1" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Highly Recommended!

I would highly recommend this book to anyone finding themselves caring for or making decisions for the care of a parent. This book provides guidance not only from the author's personal experiences but also from professionals in the field. While the subject of the book is serious, it also helps all of us see the humor and love in difficult situations. While reading the book, I could not put it down. After reading the book, I no longer felt alone on this journey. If you only read one book on this topic...this is the one!

When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents

This is a book that got my attention as well as my parents attention! We read it a few times, sat down and within two weeks had completed appointments with an Elder Law Attorney to get all of our required documents in order. We had Wills and Power of Attorney but the education in this book made us realize we hadn't done enough and that some of what we'd done needed updating. Great book that I've given to eight other friends who have given it to their friends. It is a "gift" to have received this from a colleague at my office who knows Jim Comer and who knows there are several of us with parents needs care.

A specific, top pick

WHEN ROLES REVERSE: A GUIDE TO PARENTING YOUR PARENTS joins others on the subject, but provides many important insights and differences not covered in competing titles. Public libraries in particular will find this a specific, top pick: it surveys everything from legal considerations and optins for acting on parens' behalf to handling dementia, hospital interactions, care team meetings and more. The author's first-person experiences blend with humor - such as what to do when finding 3 gallons of Scotch in a parent's retirement home closet - to provide insights on real-life scenarios. Diane C. Donovan California Bookwatch

A Gripping Narrative and a Great Resource

This book is a first-person account of Jim Comer's 10-year involvement in his parents' care (the first half of the book) together with a well-organized summary of care resources and expert opinion (the second half). As is so often the case for caregivers, Comer's odyssey began with a telephone call. His mother was Alzheimer's-stricken, and his father had been the caregiver. When his father had a stroke, everything in Comer's life changed at once. He quit his job in California and moved back to Texas to take on the job of parenting his parents. He soon learned that this involved making almost every decision about every aspect of his parents' lives--medical, legal, financial, practical, personal, social, and psychological. Comer had no parenting experience of any kind, and he had to learn fast. One especially nice thing about the book is that it addresses the emotional dimension of caring for parents and does a good job of capturing what it's like to parent your parents. Actually, I'll go farther than that, because I had to parent my parents. Comer nails it. It's a good read. If you need a crash course in parenting parents, however, skip the narrative and go straight to Chapter 23: Fifty Questions That Will Save You Time, Money, and Tears. You'll find you haven't even thought of many of these questions and don't know the answers to most of them. You need to get the answers, and sooner will be better than later.

The Book Every Boomer Should Read

With a huge segment of the population facing the dilemma of how to care for an aging parent, Jim Comer has provided a timely and invaluable resource. Written with humor and compassion, When Roles Reverse is both a compelling memoir and an indispensable "how to." It answers the questions no one wants to face, offers support for those who fear making life-altering decisions, and provides essential guidance on where to find information and assistance. I only wish this book had been available ten years ago so that I could have turned to it for help with my own family situation.