What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers

by Amy Sutherland and Amy Suthrlend

Book Overview

While observing trainers of exotic animals, journalist Amy Sutherland had an epiphany: What if she used their techniques with the human animals in her own life-specifically her dear husband, Scott? As Sutherland put training principles into action, she noticed that not only did her twelve-year-old marriage improve, but she herself became more optimistic and less judgmental. What started as a goofy experiment had such good results that Sutherland began...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0812978080
• ISBN13: 9780812978087
• Release Date: April 2009
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Length: 192 Pages
• Weight: 0.37 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.0" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

Psychology 211 Extra Credit

Amy Sutherland’s book, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers, provides a detailed account of her utilizing methods she learned while observing exotic animal trainers and using those same techniques on her husband, Scott. The book explores how her twelve-year marriage improved, and how she herself became more optimistic and open-minded. Sutherland found the behavioral techniques she implemented on her husband and marriage were so successful that she eventually shifted those training techniques to other people, like her friends, mother, and other family members. In the book, she also discovers that despite the training techniques, one can only change themselves. Overall, Sutherland explores methods used on modifying animal behavior, onto the people in her life. The novel is very applicable to the material learned in Psychology 211, because throughout the novel she explores and utilizes positive reinforcement rather than punishment because she concluded based off her observations, that it was the best method used to gain the trust of an animal and a great motivator, since as she describes it, “you encourage rather than discourage”. She explains that with positive reinforcement a person can show an animal the desired behavior it should do rather than punishing it for not replicating a desired behavior. Sutherland also writes how in order to maintain a desired correct behavior, a person must continuously use reinforcement methods, which can be accomplished through using variable schedules. She explains how when an animal has learned to do a specific type of behavior, animal trainers will not need to constantly reward an animal for replicating the behavior, she describes it as “a powerful way to maintain behaviors”. A major example in her book centers on her distaste regarding her husband’s dirty biking clothes which would constantly litter the floor. To remedy the unwanted behavior, she used a reinforcement technique. She at first did not mention, or nag at her husband about his pile of dirty clothes, but instead remained silent on the matter, but when her husband did clean up after himself she would simply thank him. Whenever her husband picked up his clothes, she reinforced the behavior by thanking him as a way of acknowledging that he acted out a correct behavior. Sutherland constantly did this, and eventually her husband learned to pick up his dirty clothes without needing to be told. Overall, the book was insightful, funny, and enjoyable.

I loved it!

What a great read! This book is good for anyone who wants to improve their relationship with those close to them - whether it's their spouse, friend, or family member. Sutherland includes many playful examples of how animal training works on humans, too! Although it may sound a bit manipulative, Sutherland helps the reader understand that it's really just a way to use human nature in a way that benefits everyone involved. She has bettered her relationship with her mother, husband, friends, and even her dogs. Sutherland has avoided pointless arguments with her husband by using a least reinforcing scenario in one setting, and giving him an incompatible behavior - which was my favorite story - in another setting. My only critique is that the book felt a little longer than it needed to be, but that's only because she used so many examples. But because the book is written in such a bubbly and fun way, it was a quick, enjoyable read that even left you feeling emotionally attached to her trick-loving dogs! I've already recommended this book to many of my close family and friends!

This is the best man advice book I have ever read.

Forget the negative reviews on this book. I have read all kinds of books purporting to give away the secret to lasting relationships and understanding men. This book is more about self-discovery, and navigating the world (and reacting) in ways that are more positive than negative, and don't flare situations. If you read it as that, you will love the book. Plus, the author (though a bit self-absorbed) throws in funny stories about her husband and animals to keep things going. Its a very enjoyable book, and will keep your attention. :)

Positive Reinforcement is Better than Punishment

Ms. Sutherland isn't suggesting we dehumanize people! A positive reinforcement system is a GOOD thing. We use it all the time without thinking about it: when we give kids gold stars, when we give a big hug to someone for a favor they did, or even when we pat ourselves on the back for a good job. Ms. Sutherland is simply saying that these methods work better than punishing a child for not doing his homework, nagging someone to do something, or negative self-talk. She is suggesting that using them in more areas of our lives can have a very positive effect, and can make our relationships with people better. And she suggests that instead of rewarding negative behavior or nagging about it, we just ignore it, and that behavior will often decrease. It just so happens that animal trainers discovered this method and use it to increase behaviors they want in animals (and lets not forget that people ARE members of the animal kingdom). I feel like the people who gave a one star either didn't read the book at all, or went into it with a closed mind and completely missed the point. This is a great book, and highly recommended!

A fun read

This is a fast and fun read, but also thought provoking. The author uses her experience with animal trainers to illumine our interactions with humans. Ms. Sutherland is a good story teller and provides insights on how not to take everything so personally and make our relationships more relaxed. Some former reviews seem to be taking the premise of this book a bit literally. The author doesn't suggest that we treat people like animals. Just that teaching techniques can overlap. This is a funny, light-hearted and enjoyable read! It will provide great discussion for your book club.

A fun read with sound advice!

There is hope! After reading this, you will slap your forehead and think "Of course, why didn't I see that before"? This book gives some really good, practical advice on applying basic animal training techniques to improve our interactions with human animals. It makes you look at your own actions and behavior in a new light. And this book is a fun, light-hearted read; not some soul-searching, introspective quagmire. It's fast, it's fun and it's helpful (I hope)!

Had a blast reading this

I thought this was a lot of fun--a funny story about how being around animal trainers helped the author learn to live more peacefully with the other animals in her life--her humans. As long as you're not looking for some kind of "12 steps to the perfect marriage" I'd recommend this book to anyone. Sutherland's light-hearted, and often self-deprecating, approach to the relationships in her life made me think about my husband, my friends, and especially my kids--I related to so many of the anecdotes--"Shamu" definitely made me see animal behavior and human nature through a new lens. A great late night read. Terrific book for your next book group!