What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter

by Voddie T. Baucham Jr.

Book Overview

All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men. But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking for?

What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be... If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1581349300
• ISBN13: 9781581349306
• Release Date: January 2009
• Publisher: Crossway
• Length: 216 Pages
• Weight: 0.82 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.1" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

superb book for fathers and young men

What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Voddie T. Baucham Jr. ISBN-10: 1581349300 ISBN-13: 9781581349306 There are some books that are enjoyable, convicting, and hard to put down. What He Must Be is all of those. Voddie Baucham has written a classic. In the last few years the name Voddie Baucham has come to our attention as a man who is very concerned for the family. His Family Driven Faith was a very good book. What He Must Be is even better. Baucham has done excellently. Baucham takes personal experience, patterns in his own extended family, statistics, and most importantly- Scripture, to show us what a man must be if he is to be a man who is to marry his daughter. Honestly, I am convinced that I hold the same opinions and convictions. Essentially, Baucham declares that a man must be mature, stable, holy, and responsible if he is to be a truly good candidate for marriage. What He Must Be is a prophet, one who speaks to his family on behalf of God. He must also be a priest, one who speaks to God on behalf of his family. He is to lead his family in the ways of Jesus Christ. He must also be a protector and provider. It is particularly interesting and gratifying that Bauchum does not expect someone who is a protector and provider to measure up to a macho man standard. What he does tell us is that God's Word presents to us a picture of one who is sensitive to the needs of his wife, sensitive to the dangers and fears that she faces, and then takes the responsibility of working to meet those needs so that his wife is safe and provided for. What He Must Be combines humor, passion, compassion, and strong convictions to give to us a wonderful picture of what a man should/must be if he is to be fit for marriage. Highly recommended.

A must read for every Christian father!

Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the father's duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you aren't sure what this looks like, you may want to consider for yourself the qualities Voddie suggests we should be looking for in our daughter's future husband and instilling in our sons who will most likely be husbands themselves some day. The first part of the book lays the groundwork for the vision and thought behind these counter-cultural ideas. Chapter one expresses the need for fathers to have a Christ-centered multigenerational vision that extends to the children, grandchildren and beyond. Chapter two describes marriage as a ministry, explaining how marriage is a fertile training ground for future church leaders as the Christian marriage illustrates the relationship of Christ and the church to a lost and hurting world. Chapter three explains a father's role as he exercises gospel patriarchy. Chapters four through eight lay out the qualities we should be looking for in our daughter's potential suitors and instilling in our own sons. They are as follows: * He must be a follower of Christ (chapter 4) * He must be prepared to lead (chapter 5) * He must lead like Christ (chapter 6) * He must be committed to children (chapter 7) * He must be a protector (chapter 8) o He must be a man of personal holiness o He must be a man of true gentleness o He must be a man of great resolve o He must be a man of genuine compassion o He must be a man of true bravery * He must be a provider (chapter 8) o He must have a job o He must have a work ethic o He must have a plan * He must be a prophet / priest (chapter 8) o A man must pray with and for his family o A man must preach to his family Chapter nine discusses the importance of protecting our daughter's purity, heart, focus, future spouse, and hope. Chapter ten talks about the importance of raising our own sons to be Godly men and describes how our influence as fathers will influence our daughter's choice of potential suitors. The conclusion offers some thoughts on the issue of ethnicity in relation to marriage and children. If you're a father, I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of What He Must Be ...if he wants to marry my daughter. At the very least, I hope it will show you that you don't have to accept the cultural norms when it comes to preparing your daughters and sons for marriage. God has called us to something much larger and we should seize it and move forward with all our might. Voddie Baucham Jr. is a pastor, conference speaker, and Bible teacher. He is a graduate of Southwestern and Southeastern Baptist Theological Semi

More than. . .

This book is more than you think. It is more than a 'check list' of what a man must be. It is more than a 'how to find a suitable husband' for yourself or your daughter. This book inspires me to be a better parent, to be more diligent in training both my sons and my daughters, and will inspire men to be better men, better husbands, better fathers. And that is not what I anticipated. Baucham does not leave us with an unattainable and unclear list which frustrates us and makes us feel there is no hope. He delves, quite more than I expected, into the Word, history, theology, and examples from christian heroes of the past in order to thoroughly explain what a man must be and WHY. A list would be easier to read. A list would be easier to post as a legalistic, graceless disqualifier of the young men you know. But Baucham's purpose clearly is not the above; this book challenges the reader to raise standards to God's standards rather than settling for the cultural norm and inspires the reader to teach and disciple young men to meet those standards. This book is not as 'easy to read' as the author's previous book, Family Driven Faith, but it is well worth the extra effort. It is well-written, the author is certainly a wordsmith, but the reader's mind will need to be fully engaged in order to grasp the depth of the message being presented. The message of the book is more than what a man must be if he wants to marry my daughter, as the title implies. I highly recommend this book. You will receive pleasantly more than you expected.

This Book has a Wide Audience

First of all when I first saw the title my initial thought was this was a book about courtship and what to look for in a spouse for your daughter. However, after reading this book there is a much wider audience. ~ What to look for in a spouse for your daughter. ~ Helping your daughter determine what to look for. ~ How to raise your sons to be prepared to lead their families. ~ Direction and guidance for husbands and fathers in leading their families. Many of this will be new information to those who have even grown up in the typical church. I grew up in Southern Baptist Churches all my life. All I remember hearing that fathers should be doing is to have their children in church - Sunday School, VBS, missions, etc.

A Book for Every Father

This is a book every father, or father to be, needs to read. You do not have to have a daughter to read this book as it speaks to the issue of marriage and how as parents we need to be integral in the process of finding a spouse for our children. This is not by arranging marriages but making sure we do more than simply stand by and give empty approval. We need to raise sons worthy of marriage to our daughters and to raise daughters that know what God calls for in a spouse. As with most reviews there is only so much one can cover and I cannot encourage you to read this book enough. There may be things that are counter cultural, such as seeing dating as detrimental to marriage, but that is not because the conclusion stated are wrong but because we are so influenced by current practices that anything foreign to them seem wrong. Many times choices need to speak out and Voddie is one of those voices. We are called not simply to bring forth daughters and sons into the world but to be used by God to mold them and then send them off in an appropriate manner. All too often in an effort to not appear to be "old fashioned" or out of touch with the present we send our daughters off to fend for themselves instead of being the father God calls us to be. Voddie sets forth not only sound advice but sound advice grounded in scripture. Scripture needs to be sought after not only for salvation but it is also sufficient for leading us in raising sons worthy of marring our daughters and daughters worthy to marry our sons. I asked my sons the other day if they were the type of men that would be worthy husbands for their sister. Once the initial sounds of laughter ceased they got the point and that is we are not simply to be vigilant in raising daughters to marry in the Lord and in helping to find them worthy husbands. We are to also raise sons worthy of marrying when the time arises. Again reading Voddie's new book is for any father whether you have daughters sons or both. Read this book with a heart to see what God says about marriage and preparing our children for marriage. There may be, depending where you presently stand with regards to dating and courtship and the like, things that are uncomfortable but I would pray you would take from this book that the future of our sons and daughters are to be important to us and that often times this may mean difficult decisions need to be made for their good. If we rely on God and His principles instead of the world's manner of things our families will be healthy and more God glorifying and they will then produce healthy and God glorifying families.