What about Me?

by Bryna Siegel and Stuart Silverstein

Book Overview

How do families cope with the stressful aspects of raising a developmentally disabled child? There are over a million mentally impaired children in the United States, and another million children suffering from physical disorders or sensory handicaps. In What About Me?: Growing Up with a Developmentally Disabled Sibling, Dr. Siegel, a highly regarded developmental psychologist, and Dr. Silverstein, a respected pediatrician, compassionately address the issue of living with a neurologically impaired sibling. They offer an incisive guide to the psyche of siblings who must assume difficult tasks and burdens, and approach their subject from a variety of perspectives, including a poignant first-person account by Dr. Silverstein, himself the older brother of an autistic sibling; a fascinating view from Dr. Siegel based on clinical interviews with over 1000 families of different ethnic and social and educational backgrounds and their approaches to handicaps; a compelling review of research on family factors and adjustments of the nonimpaired siblings; an analysis of family coping and defenses patterned on the Adult Children of Alcoholics model; and a helpful chapter for adult siblings on the legal aspects of becoming one's "brother's keeper." The authors also describe an interesting and clinically useful series of prototypical "roles" adopted by siblings in coping with a disabled brother or sister: the Parentified Child, the Withdrawn Child, the Acting-Out Child, and the Superachieving Child. To depict the psychological dynamics within the family, this book features vignettes of everyday situations that have presented problems caused by the inevitable adjustments and conflicts of living with a developmentally disabled child. There is also a helpful appendix of exercises for individuals, discussion groups, and parents of disabled children that explore the experiences of trying to cope with a handicapped child.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0306446502
• ISBN13: 9780306446504
• Release Date: March 1994
• Publisher: Da Capo Press
• Length: 296 Pages
• Weight: 1.20 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 5.8" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

A must-read for parents and siblings of children with disabilities

As a retired special needs teacher, I worked with many families with children with disabilities and was able to observe how siblings interacted. "What About Me?" hits the nail right on the head. Siegel describes several patterns siblings may fall into, including the 'parentified child,' the 'overachieving child,' the 'acting-out child,' and the 'withdrawn child,' among others. She points out characteristics parents can watch for, and ways to help children in each classification to better cope with the stresses of growing up with a sibling with a disability. Adult siblings will gain insights into their 'growing-up years' from reading this book, too.

Important read for anyone who is a sibling of disabled.

At my local bookstore, this book literally fell off the shelf at my feet and I knelt down and picked it up. I knew instantly that I had to buy it. I cried when I read it because it reminded me of what it was like being a younger sister of a disabled sibling. Although it brought back a lot of memories and misplaced guilt that I have tried to overcome, the book gives good explanations as to some of the outcomes of growing up in this type of family and the dysfunctions that can occur. I would highly recommend this book and thank the authors for their contribution.