Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

by Jeannette Dewyze, Allan E. Mallinger, Jeannette De Wyze

Book Overview

For many of us, perfectionism can bring life's most desired rewards. But when the obsessive need for perfection and control gets in the way of our professional and emotional lives, the cost becomes too high. Although many of us appear cool and confident on the outside, inside we are in emotional turmoil, trying to satisfy everyone, attempting to direct the future, and feeling that we are failing. In TOO PERFECT, Dr. Allan Mallinger draws on twenty...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0449908003
• ISBN13: 9780449908006
• Release Date: June 1993
• Publisher: Ballantine Books
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.44 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.1" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

Life Changing

Normally I would not be writing a review for an item. I always thought it was because I was lazy, or that I didn't care. After reading this book, I have come to realize that it was in large part because subconsciously, I could not meet my own perfectionist expectations. There are a lot of low-risk undertakings in life that I have not attempted for the same reason. This book, for me, has brought to my conscious awareness all of the subconscious obsessive thoughts that were creating immense frustration and anxiety in my life. Of course, I realize that changing perfectionistic thoughts is not a quick fix. It takes time and effort, in both cognitive and behavioral aspects. Of all the books I've read on CBT, NLP, perfectionism and the like, this book has meant the most to me personally than any other book I have ever read. If you have perfectionistic tendencies, in ANY area of your life, then I hope this book will bring you waves of insight and comfort, like it did me.

Fabulous Book

I had trouble finding a good book about obsessive compulsive personality type (most were about obssessive compulsive disorder) until I found this one. It was so fascinating that I flew through it in one night! I had many "ah-ha" moments while reading the book, and recognized certain traits in my spouse, my mother, and myself. I found the book to be well written, easy to read and understand, and amazingly informative. It had many positive things to say to balance the negative and included constructive suggestions for changing behavior patterns. I highly recommend reading this book.

It worked for me!

I am a reformed perfectionist who has achieved much happiness and success in my life because I read and applied this book. For me, the most revelatory moment came through the authors' explaination of the difference between striving for perfection and striving for excellence. I found that I could work towards excellence and yet give up much behavior that was painful to myself and others. Too Perfect is concise, easy to read, and has practical suggestions for each type of perfectionistic personality. I recommend it for anyone who is overwhelmed by being driven by the details of living--you may find that the cause is your internal perfectionist. And if not, I'll bet you know someone it fits--perfectly.

Breaking the endless cycle

If you have a friend or family member who is a perfectionist, buy this book! I'm sure that they don't understand how many of their behavioral patterns are due to their perfectionistic tendencies. I didn't! There were many times while reading this book, that I thought to myself, "Wow, I do that too!" I had terrific success with a couple of the exercises offered in the book. Finally, the author uses examples from his patients to illustrate the patterns of compulsive behavior. It helped me identify some of the repetitive patterns that I had developed over the years, and most importantly...to CHANGE them!