To Love, Honor, and Betray: The Secret Life of Suburban Wives

by Stephanie Gertler and Adrienne Lopez

Book Overview

A provocative look at the lives of 26 married suburban women, offering a fascinating and nuanced portrait of marriage and infidelity. Extramarital affairs are often whispered about behind closed... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1401301185
• ISBN13: 9781401301187
• Release Date: February 2005
• Publisher: Hachette Books
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 1.00 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.5" x 9.5"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Aiiiggh!!!

Horrifying. If you feel bored by your husband's lack of passion then driven away by his anger when he finds out you cheated on him, then this book is for you. Men, do not drink while reading this book. Women, if you remark "You go, girl!" while reading this, you ought to be ashamed. As the child of a marriage that ended due to infidelity, I'm disappointed in the women depicted in it: "Passion" and "romance" are synonyms for horniness and sex, with any "marriage" defined as them effectively "over" once the novelty wears off-- with one "oblivious," "clueless" or even "sexless" spouse getting cheated-upon for the other to "feel alive" or so (divorce, re-marriage and more cheatin' often following). Very illuminating.

Perhaps somewhat demoralizing, but eye-opening and very valuable.

26 women tell why they are having, have had, or fantasized about having affairs outside their marriage. The editors of this book are not social scientists, but they are intentionally non-judgmental. However, this work seems to verify what social scientist John Gottman has found in his extensive research on marriage and relationships-- that a happy marriage/relationship simply cannot grow out of too much emotional distance and lack of shared nurturing and vision in a marriage. (See THE RELATIONSHIP CURE and 7 PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK.) The book easily held my attention, and gave many insights into the dynamics of troubled marriages, but exclusively from the wife's point-of-view. I recommend it to those who wish to better understand the dynamics of troubled marriages, especially where at least one outside friend/lover may be a factor.

Wickedly good read...

I really enjoyed this book. Curl up with a hot cup of tea and this book and I swear in less than 2 hours you'll be thinking about marriages today and wondering what your friends do behind closed doors. See, I picked up this book knowing full well that one of my good friends is having an affair. When I read this book, I could not help but see her situation duplicated many times over by other women. My friend is not a bad person although others would beg to differ just based on her actions. Like many of the women in this book, she doesn't want to hurt her husband. She just wants some attention and romance and perhaps she never grew up. I really don't understand why she does what she does but I can tell you this - based on what I have read in this book: she is not alone. Affairs are becoming increasingly common among women in suburbia today. Women don't talk about it much even with each other. This is a hard look at the girl next store. Highly recommend for a book club read - it will definitely open up group discussion!

I walk this lonely street...

Merriam-Webster Dictionary: Love affair: a romantic attachment or episode between lovers 2 : a lively enthusiasm How did I get from happy to lonely? Am I the only one feeling....lonely. When I came accross this book I felt like I just made 26 new friends. Their stories, feelings, heartaches, were all too familiar. No one was judging, no one was pointing fingers, no one was giving advice, just telling their story. Did it answer all of my questions, no, but it did make me feel a little less alone. This book is for men as well as for women. Men aren't always at fault for letting the romance slip away, but this can give men a different spin on what women want and need in a relationship.

Good insight into an emerging culture

The times, they are, a'changing. I sometimes wonder if men and women were ever intended to get together. Perhaps in cave man days where you married at 12 or 13, had grand kids at 25 or 30 and were dead at 40. But that's not the way it is any more. We live a lot longer. And we know that divorce will end more than half of the marriages. Studies say that almost all of the rest are not happy marriages, it's just that they choose not to separate for any of a number of reasons. As a male, this book is extremely interesting to read. It is almost like eavesdropping on a conversation between two women who wouldn't be saying these things if a male was around. It's certainly true that we don't think alike. And the studies say that the percentage of females having affairs is rapidly catching up with the male percentage. The reason seeems to be opportunity, nothing to do with desire which has always been there, just the opportunity as more women enter the workforce for them to meet men. This book presents an insight into the Venusian that we Martians don't often see.