The Woman Who Gave Birth to Her Mother: 1tales of Women in Transformation

by Kim Chernin

Book Overview

Chernin explores the stages of change through which women travel, from idealization of the past and revising it: blaming the mother and forgiving her, letting go of her and, ultimately, giving birth to a new self. Chernin's tales of women's transformations are arresting and full of depth: one woman, adopted as a child, embarks on a journey to locate her birth mother; another finds the source of a voice that haunts her - the voice of her daughter, given up at birth; a third unlocks her own creative process and paints her way out of a painful symbiosis. Framing these stories is the narrative of Chernin's relationship with her own daughter and the insights won from three generations of women in her family.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0670880965
• ISBN13: 9780670880966
• Release Date: August 1998
• Publisher: Viking Books
• Length: 219 Pages
• Weight: 1.08 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.3" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Insight leads to greater inner peace

I used this book in a course I taught for college students in a women's prison. I was amazed at how the case studies unfolded to a resolution that was both realistic and inspiring. The author's style has a poetic, almost mythical, quality. The advice the author gives is sound: learn to change yourself and your perceptions of your mother, and then the relationship may change for the better. There are no false promises here, but there are intriguing and hopeful possibilities.

Daughters, Mothers, even Grandmothers ...

Who said all families are dysfunctional? Kim Cernin helps prove it, but also offers creative and healthy ways to relate to our mother and daughter(s). It seems that as women we share common expectations of the 'right' way for good daughters and mothers to behave ... expectations that none of us can possibly live up to. In a series of artfully told stories, Ms. Cernin recounts ways her patients in therapy work to accept themselves and their mothers and learn to nuture themselves as they wish their mothers had. Ms. Cernin has made her book intimate and accessable by weaving in stories of her own daughter and mother. She confirmed for me that this is the some of the most important psychological work women do, that there are no instant solutions, and that it is a lifelong and ongoing task. It was a great relief for me to read stories so similar to my own attempts to understand and be understood by the most important women in my life. I wholeheartedly recommend "The Woman Who Gave Birth to Her Mother." I plan to send it to all my female relatives as soon as it comes out in paperback!

very eye-opening

i loved what chernin had to say about the importance of telling your mother-story over and over until you reach a place of understanding with your idea of your mother as a person. i feel like i am doing this now and this book was a wonderful guide - great stories by all the women.

important for every woman who is a daughter and/or a mother

Chernin describes a way to unravel the knot that binds mothers and their daughters. The first 46 pages are the guide...the rest are stories of women who collectively speak as Everywoman. Chernin's listening skills are apparent on every page, as is her warmth and empathy.