The Unprocessed Child: Living Without School

By Valerie Fitzenreiter

The Unprocessed Child is a work of nonfiction about a child raised with no coercion and no curriculum. Laurie Chancey spent her childhood immersing herself in topics of her own choosing. She was never... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0972941606
• ISBN13: 9780972941600
• Release Date: July 2003
• Publisher: Unbounded Publications
• Length: 264 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.0" x 7.9"

Customer Reviews

Following the AP Path to a Logical Conclusion

Fitzenreiter didn't much care for the way she was raised, and determined to do better by her own child, mostly by respecting her right from the very beginning -- or almost the beginning. She learned sleep training was a bad idea quite quickly. The opportunity to read a mother write what it was like to raise her child in an attached, respectful, non-violent, not emotionally transgressive way is a positive answer to the question: but how else could we raise children? It is not the only one, and it is one that only a certain kind of mother should even contemplate. There are plenty of good mothers -- and good parents -- who aren't inclined to spend that much of their day at home, with or without their child. It takes a woman of strong moral principles, with firm opinions, to buck the Bible Belt and raise a daughter the way Fitzenreiter raised hers; the reader will almost immediately discover this from the tone of the book. I found the authorial voice refreshing and often inspirational. I finished some chapters with a loud cheer. Your mileage may vary. I especially respected Fitzenreiter for noting some of the things she would have done differently. She made a strong effort to make sure her family ate healthy meals (a major accomplishment anywhere, and a particularly significant achievement in her region); she wishes she had made a similar effort for exercise and physical activity.

Definitely IS an Unschooling Book

I wish the recent disappointed reviewer would read to the end of this book, and perhaps look into some of the rigorous Unschooling discussions that are currently online, instead of making offensive personal judgments like "selfish pig" about a young person she has never met. They could change her thinking and show her that Valerie's family is not unique in their journey. There are hundreds of families engaging in the kind of parenting that Valerie Fitzenreiter so clearly illustrates, that repeatedly demonstrate results that are the exact opposite of what that reader fears: children who joyfully engage in a variety of academic or professional pursuits as they age, happily help out without being asked and actually do more than if they had assigned chores, and consistently become responsible, unselfish and socially conscious people. I loved this book when I read it because the niche that it fills is that it is a personal story with the always-unschooled child having become an adult, rather than being written by someone whose children are still young ("school age") - although of course these are also valuable contributions to the broader picture of unschooling. It is certainly true that this book is not a basic primer on how to approach the educational component of unschooling; those useful books also exist. This is Advanced "whole life" Unschooling. It doesn't end with not tutoring math or history. It also means abandoning the idea that children "still need to be taught responsibility and how to respect others" in favor of treating them with deep and genuine respect, modeling responsible behavior, and trusting that they will mirror how they are treated. Many Unschoolers have expanded their thinking past the merely educational, and are also beyond a lot of modern parenting and its discourses. This book is about changing your parenting on a deep thought level. Valerie shows us how she accomplished that, and the fantastic results.In the wider parenting world the word "limits", or more usually "setting limits", is a buzz word phrase - jargon of supposedly aware parenting, which unfortunately can often be translated into "controlling the children's behavior". "Limits" can mean "what parents tolerate in their comfort zone". Similarly, the term "consequences" is often a euphemistic way of saying "punishments" - even though time outs or grounding or extra chores are orders of magnitude better than old fashioned strategies like screamed insults, shame and guilt, spanking, being sent to bed with or without supper, or being sent off to military school or ensconced in a nunnery. Another modern parenting idea is "Give your children choices". How could this be problematic for Unschoolers? Well, I recall an episode of a TV talk show, where a very nice modern mother was enthusing about the various strategies she uses for ease of parenting and family life - her big tool was "giving kids choices" that included which color of jacket to put on. For anyone who has been

A Must Read for Every Parent

I have read and reread this book. I loan it to friends and give it as gifts. This book describes how parenting should be. How we should live with our children, not waiting for what they might become. Enjoying every moment in life. This is a great example of peaceful parenting, respecting children for the individuals they are. With the goal to support that individual watching their life unfold in front of your eyes. Every child should be treated with the same respect, trust and dignity as Valerie's child. What a wonderful testament to the parent child bond. What that bond should be. What unschooling is truly about. What a wonderful book. I can't recommend it enough.

Tact yet truthful

The author speaks only the truth, and some people are going to feel guilty, thus they will become defensive. This book is tactful, yet brutally honest. Far too many parents these days do not put their children first, believing that they are some sort of non-human until they are able to live on their own.The author simply states what has needed to be said for many years - that all parents need to put aside a few years of their long life to devote totally and completely to their children.This is an unschooling book at heart. The job of an unschooling parent is to facilitate the child's interests and learning - and doing so gently and without coersion.Whether you have one child or six (or three as I do), this book is an excellent unschooling and parenting manual. It is not a book for the weak of heart, those who feel guilty or intimidated by different opinions. This book is for the parent who truly wants to prioritize and unschool with their child FIRST.

If I could go back and choose how things might be...

Society's Childchildhood aches and childhood painBullies all around my tears cried in vainWorld full of reminders that I just ain't good enoughParents and teachers add to it, and making me toughIf I could go back and choose how things might beI'd choose to be a child who's loved and cherished and freeThis was my first reaction after reading this book. Far to many children have been deprived of a childhood before they have grown. Most of us have had to heal from our childhoods before we could start living. In today's society children who are made to run around and play are chained to a desk. As adults we get to come home from work and do what we choose, as children when we come home from school we still have chores and then homework. When do they really have time to just be. Reading this book gives me hope for future generations... People often say that babies should come with a manual and this fits the bill. It's about time someone taught us what it means to be a loving parent. I beleive that very few of us have the guts and stability it takes to raise a child right, myself included. Although my son was 16 when I read this book using it's phylosophies gave me more patience and improved my relationship with him. This book also made me a better person and helped me heal from many of my childhood aches and pains. I not only wished it was available when my son was a baby but I wish it was available to my parents as well. Changes occur slowly in our world but hopefully someday every child will know what it's like to be raised loved and cherished and free. Thank you Valerie for sharing your story , you are one of those rare people who did something positive to change the world by challenging the norm.