The Stepfamily Survival Guide

by Natalie Nichols Gillespie

Book Overview

Statistics tell us that one in three Americans is a member of a stepfamily. Though rarely acknowledged in churches even today, millions of Christians struggle with the obstacles common in divorce and... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0800759214
• ISBN13: 9780800759216
• Release Date: September 2004
• Publisher: Fleming H. Revell Company
• Length: 222 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.6" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Practical Guide

While one could blame sky-high divorce rates on a multiplicity of factors, one reason is approaching a life-changing decision on the basis of impulsive, romantic feelings. In her eminently practical book, Natalie Nichols Gillespie spells out dozens of pitfalls awaiting second marriages, especially when children are involved. Then she goes further, listing numerous suggestions and corrective measures. The Stepfamily Survival Guide is packed full of common sense; I wish it would have been available before I married into a ready-made family. Likewise, this book can wave cautionary flags for people embarking on remarriage after the death of a spouse. Still, it will be most useful for parents with children who are preparing to make the courageous leap into "yours, mine and ours." And, to those who have left the cliff and are struggling to keep from crashing.

Smart and inspiring....

Throughout this book, Natalie Gillespie's reliance on God and prayer and total surrender of her steplife to Him is apparent and recommended. That constant reminder sustains weary stepparents and helps us gather our strength for challenging times. And while Gillespie doesn't ignore any difficulties stepparents face, this book is extremely positive in its outlook and powerful in its message: you can thrive as a stepparent, and here's help. She sums up the theme of this book early on: "By sending his only son to live in a situation similar to our stepfamilies, I believe God showed his love for our stepfamilies. He might hate divorce, but he loves mending broken lives that are laid at his feet." The author begins her book with the marriage - that's what creates the stepfamily and that's what must survive the toughest times. More vulnerable than stepparent/stepchild relationships, the husband/wife relationship will determine if the stepfamily lasts. Through this section and in all her chapters, Gillespie offers 'common problems to consider,' and `solution suggestions.' You won't see yourself in every scenario, but you'll be able to take her advice and apply it to the holes in your steplife. Gillespie also includes discussion questions that focus on the future or deep internal issues we are sometimes too much in love (in the beginning) or too tired and overwhelmed (a little later) to consider. Throughout, the book is concrete help and guidance for stepparents at all levels. Gillespie discusses the kids, including bonding, being a part-time parent and more, and building the fragile stepparent/stepchild relationship. She also tackles how to integrate the stepparent into the discipline plan for the family. The author calls for healing in relationships with former spouses and foresight and courage when legal matters intrude on your steplife. The book concludes with a generous collection of Scriptures, organized by topics, including love, peace, kindness, anger and more. The author also includes an index of resources for stepfamilies. This book is one you'll want to add to your collection.

A Great Resource for Stepfamilies

This well-written book by Natalie Nichols Gillespie is jam-packed with whitty anecdotes and practical advice. The author draws on her own experiences in a stepfamily with many children. Relating to stepchildren and learning how to love even those who don't want to be loved are strong components of the book. The book offers advice on handling discipline, former spouses and co-parenting. She draws on a Christian perspective and encourages stepparents to be positive and encouraging to stepchildren and take the high road, even with ex-spouses who are belligerent or hostile. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter help stepparents explore their own feelings and reflect on how their own stepfamily operates. She encourages her readers to take a strong introspective gaze into their own thoughts and feelings, leading them to reflect on how they can improve their stepfamily relationships. This is a great book for new stepfamilies just forming and even seasoned stepparents.

Thankyou

Dear Natalie, I wanted to share a quick note of thanks with you. I am marrying a man with two daughters (ages 7 & 9) in 6 weeks. We have been in pre-marital counseling with our pastor and I have been saturating myself in books, online info and whatever else I can get my hands on, about being part of a stepfamily. I picked up your book about two weeks ago and have been reading some each day. I feel such a huge amount of relief at the simple fact that I am not the only one experiencing this. Before looking into being a stepmom I felt such tension, pressure, at times jealousy towards his ex-wife and sometimes the girls. I felt so much but had no idea if I was justified or not & then what to do with it. Your book has given me such insight on the basics and with that I'm moving forward with much more confidance. My fiance is reading the book now and I hope he takes as much from it as I have. We both know it is a rough road ahead of us but we want to be as spiritually & emotionally prepared as possible. Thankyou for sharing your journey, it is beneficial to a lot of people. Pam Gray, Maine

Much Needed Resource

I picked up this book and couldn't put it down. I don't know how anyone with any type of stepfamily situation has gotten through without this survival guide. The author shares her own experiences--raising six kids as a blended family--with honesty and lots of humor. It's a must read.