The Soul Beneath the Skin: The Unseen Hearts and Habits of Gay Men

by David Nimmons

Book Overview

Among the most acclaimed books of 2002, named one of the 50 Best Non-Fiction Books of 2002 by Publishers Weekly, The Soul Beneath the Skin explores the variety of social and ethical experiments in gay... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 031232040X
• Release Date: November 2003
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
• Length: 276 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.6" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

Required Reading for Gay People

Rarely has a book written by a gay man for gay men reached such depth and inspired to such new heights in an easy to read and accessible story-line. Can gay men become the healers of the world, showing straight men that violence and insane war-mongering are no longer necessary? Has the gift of the gay spirit evolved to such a point that we can be shamans of the world, teaching community living and loving? David Nimmons' book reveals the gay soul in a way never captured before. You'll want to read this book if you want to understand how the "curse of homosexuality" has become "a gift to the world." Never before have the voices of so many millions of gay men been able to influence the future of society as it can now. Nimmons shows us, in many different areas, where overcoming the gay challenges makes our personal experiences an asset for the modern world. A delightful book, written in the gay voice. Inspiring. A must read for gay leaders and the community minded.

Good information

I thought this book had good information. It was well researched and it's heart was in the right place. I met this author at a workshop and his heart was as big as his goals to bring gay men together heart to heart. Sadly, this is not an easy task. As gay men with so many wonderful attributes as Mr. Nimmons points out, we don't accomplish enough connection with one another. I hope the author writes more and does not give up in his attempts to bring us together as gay men! Joe Kort

A Positive Study of Gay Male Lives!

This is a much needed and long awaited POSITIVE study of the contemporary gay male. This book should have been written years ago as it puts into proper perspective the many important contributions gay males have made to our society and how these contributions have been ignored, dismissed or overlooked. It exposes the myths and lies about gay male lives, and opens up to all who read this book the true accomplishments gay men have made in this world. It's an optimistic presentation and a valuable text for gay studies courses, or for anyone interested in the lives of gay men. It's intelligently written, yet an easily understandable book for anyone to read, learn from, and enjoy. This book explains how gay men have developed a culture where violence is almost nonexistent; where new forms of friendship, intimacy, and relationships have been developed with less sexual jealousy; where gay men and straight women have forged lasting relationships; and where volunteerism for both straight and gay causes is much higher than other segments of the population. THE SOUL BENEATH THE SKIN was a positive joy to read. It offers hope for those who are disappointed, and disillusioned with "the gay community" as it now stands. This book is surely "the light at the end of the tunnel". Hopefully, it will be read by all, gay and straight, so that a more appreciative understanding can be forged between all of us. All of the thanks goes to David Nimmons for taking the time and effort to do such an in-depth study of gay men's lives and the positive contributions they have made to society. A NEW BEGINNING! Joe Hanssen

Creating the Gay World We Want

David Nimmons' extraordinary new book about gay men and gay culture is refreshing, honest and meaningful in a way that most books about us are not. It is meaningful because it is about us, our lives as gay men. He has observed and researched the very things that make gay culture, gay culture. In the process he de-bunks some myths and creates new understandings about gay culture. It is significant that the focus of this book is about our lives, our love individually and communally and our ability to shape our and the world's future.His understandings of the traits, habits and mores of gay men are newly stated realities of sometimes hidden understandings of who we are. What is most wonderful for me, someone who has written about, studied and worked in gay male cultures for the past 30 years is the central question that is presented in the book. While he talks of our commitment to non violence, our ability to deal with the HIV epidemic ( and safer sex) better than any people on the globe and our unsurpassed capability of for using love and compassion in our daily lives, he constantly asks, "Why is it that we don't know these good things about ourselves." This is the challenge and the opportunity that is presented in this book. He tells us about us and suggests ways that we can create the world we want as gay men. It is a first!This is the best book about Gay Culture and Gay Men in almost fifteen years. It doesn't focus on the political but the personal which is where I believe we need to be. It is the successor to the work of Mark Thompson, et. al in Gay Spirit and Gay Soul, the real grandson of the writings of Harry Hay and the only book since Judy Grahn's Another Mother Tongue to talk about who we really are.What a wonderful addition to the literature. It is must reading for all gay men and for all those who love them. It should be required for anyone wishing to do AIDS education and prevention work with gay men. And of course non gay people should definitely read this bookAbsolutely fabulous darling!

Thought-Provoking Polemic

This is the kind of assumption-shattering book that we need in these times of passively-accepted hype and media-fed half truths. The author takes a clear-eyed look at the statistics that have been floated before us in dozens of newspaper and magazine articles, in television programs, and other popular venues. Nimmons rightly protests that the statistics have for the most part been interpeted with a preconceived conclusion by popular writers. He also digs up other statistics that have definitely not been presented, because they do not jibe with the prevailing attitudes about his subject-- the subculture of gay men. He offers his own take on what these statistics and patterns mean, refusing to accept the pronouncements of other people without being convinced by the data.He presents information about several aspects of the behavior of gay men as a group. The police logs tell us that violence in gay bars, Pride parades, and other gatherings of celebrating and often intoxicated gays is far lower than in heterosexual gatherings such as pubs, sporting events, and parades. The incidence of gay domestic violence, distorted in the popular media, is in fact equivalent to the incidence amongst the straight community. In fact, conflation of lesbian and gay domestic violence rates may make gay men seem more prone to domestic violence than they actually are.Nimmons examines the rates of volunteerism amongst gay and straight men and find both monetary and time donations to be significantly higher in the former group. He hypothesizes that an ethos of caring informs not only the frequency with which gay men volunteer for both gay-related and gay-unrelated causes, but also informs the higher representation of gay men in service-connected careers like healthcare, social service, etc.The author considers what it might mean that gay men handle relationships of all kinds differently than heterosexual men. He cites mostly anecdotal information in this topic, hypothesizing that the gay modes of managing interpersonal relations-- male-male friendships, male-female friendships, and romantic relationships-- may be of benefit to our society as it evolves. He wonders how the "traditional" family concept can be held as a yardstick when only 25% of families contain a mother, a father, and children.He also presents a refutation that behavior-modification efforts targeting safer sex have been failing with gay men. Nimmons looks at the rates of safe sex amongst various groups, and finds that gay men have changed their actions most, with an approximate 2/3 rule: 66% or so of gay men have substantially altered their sexual practices toward the safer, while heterosexuals have done so at a small fraction of this rate.Shorter thought pieces are included: the place of ecstatic or spiritual practices in gay men's modes of celebrating; the sensitivity to beauty and art that gay men demonstrate; the effects of negative social influences that erode what gay men do best and how they feel abo