The Silicon Syndrome

by Jean Hollands

Book Overview

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• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0553050915
• ISBN13: 9780553050912
• Release Date: July 1985
• Publisher: Bantam Books
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 1.06 lbs.

Customer Reviews

Marriage Handbook for HighTech Engineers & Spouses

The Silicon Syndrome book is a survival handbook for couples composed of an engineer/scientist and his right brain gap-filling spouse. Jean Hollands, the author, wrote this book after counseling hundreds of silicon valley couples who were having marriage problems because of what she calls the "Silicon Syndrome". The author defines the Silicon Syndrome as the most complicated relationship combination in America. It is a series of symptoms which all spell disaster to couples. The major symptom is the misunderstanding between a scientist/engineer (sci-tech) and his different thinking and feeling partner. The sci-tech's scientific-method personality and his partner's right brain response sometimes result in relationship chaos. The sci-tech's decision to handle himself and life by the scientific method may wipe out his capacity to be available to his feelings. If his partner gives up trying to connect with him, she may go back to school, join tennis clubs, or find her own career path. What do the sci-tech and his partner do in emergencies? The sci-tech goes into his head, to think and his partner goes to her internal microphone, to talk. The sci-tech will think out the crisis and ponder, analyze, and debate with himself. His partner discusses the problem with someone! Their different crisis behaviors are the primary silicon syndrome dilemma. The author, Jean Hollands, presents some methods for such couples to become a team and let their complementary traits work together. She writes that to survive the silicon syndrome, couples need to: 1. Translate your partner's words into your language. 2. Translate your words into your partner's language. 3. When talking, use his/her vocabulary and feeling intonation, not your own. 4. Listen to your partner from his/her perspective, not your own. Characteristics of the engineer/scientist: 1. The need to be right. 2. Interested in avoiding criticism. 3. When called upon to demonstrate emotion, he distracts attention away from himself to his partner. 4. Has a tendency to be critical, exacting, and unappreciative. 5. Is usually predictable. 6. Worried about control and fearing it from others. 7. Difficulties in being intimate. 8. His style of working is to do it alone. 9. Interested in talking about data sharing, but not in talking about human behavior. Topics covered in the book include: 1. How to love your engineer/scientist. 2. The engineer/scientist and his partner of choice. 3. Complementary couples. 4. Right brain/left brain. 5. Sci-tech couples and sex. 6. Sci-tech couples and money. 7. The boss, the friend, the colleague. 8. The bottom-line. The back cover of the book claims that the book will "teach you how to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses". It will teach non-scientists about the scientific personality. It will help the scientist to understand his partner, why he chose her, how she can help him, and why he needs to learn to speak some of her language. I believe The Silicon Syndrome is a boo