The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

by Matthew Kelly

Book Overview

We All Crave An Authentic Experience Of Intimacy. Though our hearts crave intimacy, though our minds understand our deep need for it, the self-revelation it requires is often too daunting a task. Complete and unrestrained sharing of self exposes the deepest human fear of being rejected for being ourselves. InThe Seven Levels of Intimacy,Matthew Kelly both acknowledges and calms our fears, while teaching us how to move beyond them to experience the power of true intimacy.Matthew reveals that each relationship is built upon a pattern of interaction. In the beginning stages, we rely on casual interactions, gaining familiarity by focusing on superficialities and facts. We grow closer and begin to share our opinions, learning to accept each other and embrace the growing relationship despite the difference in our experiences and viewpoints. Once our differences and opinions are shared and accepted, we feel safe enough to reveal our hopes, dreams, and feelings, developing trust. With this trust, we open ourselves and are able to share our legitimate needs, becoming liberated from carrying the burden of our real needs alone. At last, we are deeply intimate and both willing and able to reveal our deepest fears. We are beyond judgment and feel trust and acceptance. By moving through and building upon each level of intimacy, we find comfort and gain trust in our partners and ourselves until, by developing and deepening our intimacy within each level, we are able to fully open ourselves, finally opening to the possibility of truly being loved. It is through mastering the seven levels of intimacy that we will break through to fully experiencing love, commitment, trust, and happiness.The Seven Levels of Intimacyis a brilliant and practical guide to creating and sustaining intimacy, whether you are looking for a deeper sense of connection with your spouse, looking for more fulfillment in your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, trying to improve your relationships with your children, or simply wondering what you should be looking for in a partner.With profound insight and the use of powerful, everyday examples, Matthew Kelly explains how we can nurture the intimacy in our relationships.The Seven Levels of Intimacyredefines how we view our interactions with others. This new understanding leads us to successfully create the strong connections, deep joy, and lasting bonds that we all long for.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743265114
• ISBN13: 9780743265119
• Release Date: November 2005
• Publisher: Fireside Books
• Length: 271 Pages
• Weight: 0.87 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 5.8" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

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An honest look at intimacy..a must read for men.

The earlier one reads and heeds the context of this book,the better result you could have in sorting our the quagmire that is relationship. Its mixes authors own experience and those of others to weave thru the pathway to healthy relationship with your significant others. I find that it help in all kinds of relationships and if practiced will give one peace of mind.. Why i suggested it as a good read for men? In our culture showing one vulnerability is almost taboo and seen as unmanly..at best its a great read together.

Seven Levels of Intimacy

All those who would like to improve their relationship skills through communication that is deeper than just cliche should give this book a read.

This is a Must Read for Everyone 13 to 93!

The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved This book is a must read for someone serious about finding the love of their life or turning their current love relationship into the love of their life. It is countercultural, simple, but not easy. However, well worth the work! My relationships have flourished with Matthew's guidance.

Should be must reading

We are all involved in relationships. But most do not achieve real meaningful ones. Our relationships don't turn sour, we just become indifferent. We have been bombarded by messages that promise fun, excitment, pleasure and possessions are the answer to our emotional needs. But those are all feelings. And feelings change. They are not permanent. So no matter how much fun and excitement we pursue, it will not satisfy the basic need for intimacy. Our wants - material possessions - cannot fulfill our need for intimacy. Matthew does and excellent job of exploring what intimacy is and what it is not. Most people have a misconception of what intimacy is. The book is filled with very valuable information about the various types of intimacy - physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Matthew also provides the basis for a strong relationship. If you read and accept his premise, you will change the way you look at your relationships. You will understand that most relationships are self-centered and therefore almost always doomed to fail. The book is divided into three parts. The first part defines intimacy, the second part discusses the seven levels of intimacy and the last part discusses the 10 reasons why people do not have a great relationship and how to design a great relationship. Your primary relationship will have a huge impact on your quality of life. This is very valuable information and should be read by everyone who has not commited to living as a hermit.

Great Book for Singles or Couples

I read this book on my own then again with a loved one and we learned a lot from it. It quantifies and explains much of the human behavior present in relationships and helps strengthen and build on those relationships.

The Seven Levels of Intimacy

Great read - captivating - thought provoking - inspiring - excellent exercises to put into play what you read/learn. A catalyst for change - sure wets one's appetite for intimacy in the truest sense of the word. Gives courage to ask for more in the relationships that matter most.

We All Have Relationships, Mostly Unthinkingly

I don't believe that the most reclusive of us wants to go through life alone. We are social beings and we want to have friends, we want to share our lives with someone. Perhaps it's just someone to talk to at first, but sooner or later we want it to switch to mutual love. Mr. Kelly has written an interesting book. The first six chapter are about what intimacy is not. Intimacy is not sex, it's not common interests, it's not 118 pages of things. Only with this base established does he go on to describing what true intimacy is, how it developes over time. He starts with cliches. This is the way we communicate when we really don't know each other. At that time neither party is ready to exchange the deepest emotions. And if you start to tell someone about yours they'll wonder what's wrong with you. By the seventh level however, which he calls Legitimate Needs, we need to have the ability to tell our partners that we're beat tonight and just want to have a drink and veggie out in front of the TV. He continues with ten reasons that people don't have a great relationship. Unfortunately they all make sense. As you read them, you can see where relationships fell apart. Finally he concludes with designing a relationship and putting that plan into effect. Mr. Kelly has clearly thought out the issues of relationships and has written a book that explains a lot.