The Secret Language of Relationships: Your Complete Personology Guide to Any Relationship with Anyone

by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers

Book Overview

This text analyzes the nature of relationships between brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children, and friends and colleagues. It pinpoints the focus of each relationship and... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0670875279
• ISBN13: 9780670875276
• Release Date: October 1997
• Publisher: Penguin Group
• Length: 819 Pages
• Weight: 4.88 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.8" x 9.0" x 11.3"

Customer Reviews

Entertaining, but Definitely not Spiritual

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF RELATIONSHIPS is a follow up to author Gary Goldschneider's earlier book about the study of people based upon the day they were born, rather than their astrological sign. Wildly entertaining and surprisingly accurate, this book is used by cross-referencing two birthdays on the charts provided on the inside covers. At the point where these two birthdays meet, you are given a page number where you will find a profile about the relationship between the two people, regardless of whether that relationship is based on friendship, romance, family or business. These profiles are a half of a page long; include a brief synopsis of the relationship, advice and nutshell facts about strengths and weaknesses. Despite the fact that I am skeptical by nature and put little if any stock in astrology, I found this book fun. What's more, I was very surprised to cross reference couples I know, colleagues I've worked with, etc and found that these relationships are perfectly described in this book. I am surprised to read some of the reviews here that reveal customer dissatisfaction with this book. I never expected to learn anything spiritual or mystical here. And though I am not exactly surprised that some are saddened to learn that there are potential challenges in their own relationships, I suspect that these reviewers cross referenced themselves with their spouses and were horrified to read they'd be better off friends or business associates. Still I recommend THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF BIRTHDAYS for those looking exclusively for mindless entertainment for themselves or for their friends who visit and find it in a bookshelf. - Regina McMenamin

The Self Is Only A Function Of Its Relationship To Another

The genius of this book is its balance between the specific and the general. The authors take the days of the year and group them together into periods of between 6 to 9 days. Though this would seem arbitrary, it merely takes the same logic of the 12 traditional sun signs of astrology, and resolves them to a higher resolution from which more complex meanings can be gleaned. So rather than merely describe the twelve sun sign interactions with each each other (144 relationships), this book decribes 48 specific periods each of which has a relationship with all the other periods (1,176 relationships). In each of the 1,176 half-page vignettes, the authors have a startling ability to evoke the flavors and forces at play between any two of the 48 periods. Despite this immense specificity, the book is still general enough that any person can understand the 48 relationships - relative to their own period, at an intuitive level so that upon learning another person's birthday, they can immediately triangulate the psychic territory that is formed by the perspective at which their two personalities will view and interact with each other. Without needing to know the time or place of birth, let alone the year - which many people are reluctant to reveal, the month and date alone will allow you to ascertain the tensions and blind spots, as well as the harmonies and affinities that are likely to shape the dynamic of your interactions with the other person. Aside from the phrase used to name each relationship, the book also provides keywords to describe three strengths and three weaknesses. These are useful for summing up very briefly the essence of the relationship. Although some may find it useful, I would not heed too seriously the authors suggestion that each of the relationships make a best and worst fit when it comes to love, marriage, friendship, family or work. Astrology books tend not to have much of any concensus about recommendations for love, work or family relations. In my opinion, astrology is helpful as an aid to understanding individuals and the relationships formed between them, but not as a basis for deciding what type of a relationship to have with them. Nevertheless, this book's vast breadth, and deep insight, is an amazing achievement that will raise the eyebrows of even the most adamant astrological skeptics. It will help you see that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It's not so much about yourself or the self of the other, but rather the space that is created between.

insanely insightful!!!

I must give this book an absolutely wonderful review. It has helped me to understand things about myself and my relationships with other people that has really helped me to change myself and therefore my to change my relationships for all the better. This particular book by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers gives insight on all relationship combinations throughout the year, giving the weaknesses, strenghts and everything in between in the realtionship. The only reason this or any other astrology/personology book would ever not make sense to anyone, is because of the failure to recognize qualities within yourself, others, or your relationships. So, if something you read in this book or any other for that matter, doesn't seem at all like what you percieve in your reality, take a step back from the situation and look at it with a broader perspective. There were many things that I realized to be true about myself and my relationships after reading this book. It's truly incredible. I love it! I reffer back to it all the time and I can't wait to buy the other books by Goldschneider and Elffers about Destiny and Birthdays. I hope that all of you out there will give these books a chance! They are simply wonderful!

A Must Have Reference Book!!!

I think this book is great! Everytime I meet someone new, I look them up in this book. You never get tired of it, because as you constanly meet new people, you constatnly use it. I also reccomend: The Day You Were Born By: Linda Joyce