The Parenthood Decision: Discovering Whether You Are Ready and Willing to Become a Parent

by Beverly Engel and Beverly Engel M.F.C.C.

Book Overview

We are living in a time when baby showers are the most popular kind of party and when TV and movies abound with adorable babies and darling toddlers selling everything from soap to toilet paper. In this "baby-friendly" environment, is it any wonder that more and more people are considering becoming parents? Most people realize, however, that just wanting a baby doesn't mean you are physically, mentally, or emotionally prepared to have one. Nor does...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385489803
• ISBN13: 9780385489805
• Release Date: May 1998
• Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

The most helpful book I've ever owned!

This book was the ultimate guide in helping my husband and I make this important decision. With all of the pros that come with a little adorable baby also come a lot of cons, such as late night feedings and pediatrician appointments. With all of these factors, one can certainly lose a lot of sleep (and not by practicing either!) The introduction is about 6 pages long and says that after doing some of the exercises, you may be leaning towards one choice over another - but to try to finish the book in case you're missing anything. After Page 11 of the book, and two basic exercises of 10 questions each, it was quite obvious that although we're both ready for children - at this time we have other priorities that don't mix with starting a family right now (like fragile china and traveling) :-) This author also has some great sections on adopting, single parenting and raising your own children if you've had a less-than-perfect childhood that may have included constant fighting, abuse, neglect, etc). I also bought "I'm okay, you're a brat...", "Cheerfully Childless" and several other books. Even with all of those books and insight from all of our friends with children, this book provided the most insight (such as asking you to picture a cute baby, then a red-faced screaming infant that you can't console, then a 6 year old being bullied at school, then a 14-year old caught smoking, etc and to measure your emotions to each of the 50 scenarios listed) Such a great book, I just had to email the author to thank her.

Excellent!

This book is fascinating. It talks about the very taboo subject that maybe some people just don't want to have children! It's a very practical guide to understanding yourself, your values and whether or not you genuinely want children for yourself or are being pressured into it by family, friends and society. It helped me make peace with the decision not to have children.

So Glad It Was Available

My husband won't do ANYTHING unless it can be researched, compared, validated, etc. He was also on the fence about having kids seven years ago when I was pretty sure I was ready to roll. I started looking for books on how to make this enormous decision and was scandalized to find NONE available anywhere. Then thankfully, in 1998 a fresh search turned up "The Parenthood Decision." I read it, loved it, and presented it to my husband--who by this time was utterly convinced he did not want children. However, he graciously went through it chapter by chapter. On a beautifully sunny summer afternoon he greeted me in the garden with the finished book and his announcement that he was not only ready, but that this book had convinced him that he actually WANTED TO HAVE CHILDREN. Sadly, infertility has foiled our plans. After some devastating failed attempts we may choose now to remain childfree--an option we never would have considered acceptable before reading this book. Thank you so much Beverly. Your book has graced our lives.

This book saved my life!

In 1998, my husband and I tried for a baby, but I could not conceive. We decided to be childfree. Now, in 2000, he is scheduled for a vasectomy and I suddenly got cold feet - what if I really SHOULD be a mother! Upon reading this book with him, we realized how scared we both were that becoming parents would damage our relationship. We have now decided that we are definitely childfree. This book was NON-biased, very clear and helpful, and I am so very grateful for it!

This should be mandatory reading in schools

This book was excellent! I recommend it to everyone. I know I do not want children but my husband is wavering. I bought the book and highlighted passages for him to read and think about. I have loaned the book out and got great response on it as well. I always recommend this book to those who have the slightest question as to having kids. For me it even more confirmed my chosen childfree life. This book will help you decide if you are ready for kids now, in the future or ever.