The Old Limey

by H.W. Crocker III

Book Overview

What happens when a reactionary, retired British brigadier general comes to Los Angeles looking for his missing god-daughter? Comic chaos, that's what, with California beach babes, Jamaican drug... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0895262320
• ISBN13: 9780895262325
• Release Date: January 2001
• Publisher: Regnery Publishing
• Length: 336 Pages
• Weight: 1.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.3" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

High-Speed Comedy, American Style!

The Old Limey is easily the first great comic novel of the 21st century! It's a high-speed comedy, American-style. Which means that from the moment Nigel Haversham, a gung-ho retired British general, lands in Los Angels to rescue his goddaughter, Alexandra, who has followed her drug-dealing boyfriend Sean there, it's all go-go-go!Finding Alexandra is the least of Haversham's problems. First, he has to contend with the problems of Penelope and April, a couple of Valley girls, who get hooked up with him in the quest. Then, there are the problems of dealing with the California cops, the Black Muslims, a Jamaican drug gang, a Mexican drug cartel and - Penelope's dad!But Haversham is a man with a plan for every contingency. In fact, at the heart of this hilarious novel are Haversham's bumbling plans. But, so full is he of optimism that we are swept away with him to the end. It's an end with not one - but two! - startling surprises!Loaded with insights into the workings of old-fashioned British and new-fangled America societies, The Old Limey is a light-hearted romp that will be enjoyed by readers on both side of the Pond. Mr Crocker's writing style is such that you're not so much reading words off a page as experiencing a delightful musical comedy in your head!This is a book that will not dull with the passage of time.

Witty Comedy

Retired British General Nigel Haversham just cannot seem to rid his life of problems. First, his precious goddaughter Alexandra ran off to America in pursuit of her shiftless boyfriend Sean, one of those sensitive, left leaning artists a rigid old guard conservative like Haversham despises with the heat of a million suns. When Alexandra's mother asks Nigel to go to America and track down her daughter, he readily agrees. Almost as soon as Haversham steps off the plane in California, the problems wash over him in an unending wave: he crashes his rental car after imbibing too much liquor, bringing in the unwanted attentions of the local constabulary. Since Nigel is English and promises to go home soon, the policeman lets him off with a warning. Quickly following this unpleasant escapade, the old general has a chance encounter with two beautiful California girls named Penelope and April who grudgingly agree to assist Nigel in his mission to find Alexandra. The adventures that follow twist and turn at a frenetic pace: Nigel meets up with a gang of Jamaican drug dealers, battles a gang of Latino drug dealers, disguises himself as "Bongo Topaz," a Don King look alike in order to infiltrate a nightclub, rescues one of his girls from a kidnapping attempt, and drinks enough alcohol to float the QE2 up the river Thames. Nigel Haversham, a man who helped plot strategy with Norman Schwarzkopf during the Persian Gulf War, never imagined rescuing his goddaughter would be so difficult.This crude summary of H.W. Crocker's "The Old Limey" barely scratches the surface of this amusing and oftentimes whimsical story. All of the action centers on Nigel, of course, a man who suffers from frequent delusions of grandeur coupled with a roving eye for beautiful young women. Haversham's knowledge about America seems to come from movies or crime noir novels, as he often finds himself in dangerous situations simply because he doesn't understand how things work over here. Relying on his training as a military officer in the best English tradition, Haversham thinks nothing of blithely going up against dangerous drug gangs or marching into the headquarters of a group of Black Muslims in order to enlist their aid in his rescue mission. At one point, the old general considers the plausibility of conquering California and turning it into an Islamic protectorate of England. If some of the descriptions of this retired military officer slightly resemble Don Quixote, that's because there is, to some extent, a similarity between the two. Both characters embrace chivalrous values from the past in order to deal with modern problems. While Nigel isn't rushing off to charge any windmills, he does view things in a decidedly Victorian fashion. He doesn't understand the customs or the attitudes of these strange American creatures, but always figures another glass of gin or rum will solve any potential problems. Nigel is truly a man out of time."The Old Limey" takes place in a Los Angeles full

Hysterical character conflict

Hysterical character conflict in this terrific book is set up from the first pages. Our befuddled Englishman meets a couple of beach bunnies and we're off for a wild romp with impossibly funny situations coming at a quick clip. Crocker knows his California babes well and his English Gentlemen better - pace, language and action are nearly flawless. Too often inter-cultural conflict hams up or misses the mark on one or the other sides. It would be great to see an opposite side of the pond version from Crocker. How about a Walter Matthau-type traveling to London and mingling for a few weeks with a couple of Sloan Rangers?

Great Fun

I was enticed by the comparisons of this book to P.G. Wodehouse, and though Wodehouse would probably not write about anything as unseemly as violent drug gangs, there are certainly Wodehousian moments in this very funny novel. Throwing a Victorian British General into California popular culture, with two beach babes as his guide, is a marvelous comic formula. Great characters and great writing make this a really enjoyable book.

Smashing!

Fans of George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman series will love the irresistible Nigel. Crocker has the gift of portraying a world in which retired British brigadier generals are hip. I can't wait for the movie!