The Official Turd Book: A Bathroom Guide To Poop, Squat, Crap, Dookie, And Butt Nuggets

by Melvin Samples

The most comprehensive book documenting and illustrating the creative cutlets we all produce on a daily basis. Featuring such beauties as The Disintegrator, The Belly Flopper, The Amphibian, and The... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0970437919
• ISBN13: 9780970437914
• Release Date: January 2003
• Publisher: July Publishing
• Length: 98 Pages
• Weight: 0.40 lbs.
• Dimensions: 6.0" x 0.2" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Poop-tacular, yet not stinky

Rorschach gave us the inkblot test. Mr. Samples gives us turds. If the inkblot test is the second most commonly used forensic assessment in modern psychology, then I move to make Mr. Samples' Guide the first. Truly, a universe of information can be gleaned from the identification of our defecation. I find it my privilege--and my duty--to recommend this sparkling example of fine literary crap to anyone searching for meaning on, and within, the confines of the porcelain keister gasket. The satisfying and thorough descriptions of various human colonic refuse refused to take the high road, instead opting for a pungent, earthy feel that uncoiled the mysteries that lie in the bowels of humankind. I found the illustrations insightful, although I appreciated Mr. Samples' refusal to go with scrath n' sniff. And, to twist a phrase, if a turd could really be polished, this book would shine like the sun.

FUNNY! Need I say more?

Great book! I loved it enough to send several as gifts!! (Think Father's Day... he'll love it.)

Finally, an Official Guide

This book is absolutely hilarious. It provides a fresh spin on a not so fresh experience. If you've been unsuccessful in finding the right words in your Dictionary or Thesaurus to describe the results of your daily event, look no further. This book is the end to your searching. Not only has this book been educational for me, I have also found that I want to share this valuable information with the ones I love. It is truly funny. Thank you, Mr. Samples.

This book is freakin hillarious!

Have you ever taken a dump and not known what to call it? Well then this is the book for you. Now you will be able to identify all the turds you have made in the past as well as future turds not yet produced. The drawings and terminolgy are quite clever. Melvin's book really cracks me up.