The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents to Become Adults

by Terri E. Apter and Terri Apter

Book Overview

What do young people at the threshold of adulthood really need and want? Why do so many responsible and motivated teenagers become young adults who are still dependent, financially and emotionally, on their parents? Why are many young people today so quick to leave childhood behind, but so slow to become adults? In this wise and compassionate book, Terri Apter debunks outdated and misguided ideas about maturity: Acting in the name of love, many parents...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 039332317X
• ISBN13: 9780393323177
• Release Date: June 2002
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
• Length: 290 Pages
• Weight: 0.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Great Book for Parents Who Wonder Why Their Kids Are Taking So Long to Mature

Some kids seem to be taking forever to mature these days. It's as if all they want to do in their 20's is chill and hang and do nothing. This book explains many reasons why this is so, why kids have more problems maturing and take a lot longer, and why parents need to continue emotionally supporting and trying to understand them, often in the face of the kid's hostility or "I don't care" attitude. If you buy this book, and I recommend it highly, don't forget to read the introduction, which is almost a summary of the book. Lastly, Ms. Apter oftens cites a situation and then says "here's what the kid says" and then "here's how the parent responds". I found my self saying time after time "that's exactly how I would respond as a parent." Beforewarned that Ms. Apter is advocating for a different response from the one I would usually give to the child. This is not an uplifting book. But a very necessary one. But there don't seem to be many others like it on the market. Ms. Apter is so perceptive that I can't understand why it wasn't a best seller.

Essential reading for parents of teens and beyond!

I just finished reading Terri Apter's book about helping teenagers and young adults find their way in the world. I will be recommending it to all of our friends! Ms. Apter identifies common misconceptions about how young people "should" be treated while discussing the realities young people face and how they need to be treated. Many of her ideas about helping our children grow into successful (happy, well-adjusted) adults are very common sense and resonate with parents as things we want to do, yet feel society does not support. Apter's ability to provide examples as to why parents need to nurture their young adults is reinforced by her examples of what happens when young adults do not receive such support. As parents we must do what we feel is best for our children and reject the pressures of society to "let them go and learn from their own mistakes". Apter's Myth of Maturity is a great resource for parents.

A phenomenally insightful book

The Myth of Maturity is a must read for any parent of any older teen or young adult. And, I would recommend that young adults read it as well. It includes sound advice, interesting case studies and Terri Apter's usual perceptiveness. I hope this book gets the recognition it deserves.<(...)

Just in the nick of time

This book was so appropriate for our situation with our college age daughter. I found the book to be one of the few written specifically for this age group. I have loaned it to two friends who are having problems with their 20+ year old offspring. So many things are written about the teenage years, that you assume after that is over that "maturity" and development is accomplished. I am looking now for other books written by this author. Highest recs!!