The Life You Longed For

by Maribeth Fischer

Book Overview

Grace's son, Jack, is a miracle. At three years old, he is fighting a mysterious and deadly disease that doctors predicted would kill him as a baby. Everyone around the family credits Grace's blind dedication with helping Jack survive. But perhaps not everyone. Grace's world is upended when she discovers that she's under investigation for Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, a psychological disorder whereby a mother makes her otherwise healthy child sick...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743293282
• ISBN13: 9780743293280
• Release Date: March 2007
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 326 Pages
• Weight: 0.92 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.4" x 9.5"

Customer Reviews

This would make a great movie!

I literally could not put this novel down. It grabs you on page one and never lets you go, never lets you relax. It procedes with high emotional intensity to the end. This is a novel that teaches -- about mitochondrial disease, about Munchausenn's, about the failings of the child protective system in this country, and about our own human failings. It does so in an extremely well-crafted story. I read it wide-eyed and open-mouthed. This would make an amazing movie. I look forward to this writer's next novel.

To honor Maribeth Fischer

I have never known anyone accused of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy (MSBP), a specialized attempt to harm a child, nor have I known a child who has suffered Mitochondrial Disease. Maribeth Fischer took me into the life of one such family on Christmas Eve in the year 2000 in her book The Life You Longed For. The story of how the family, friends, acquaintances, state agencies, and courts treated a mother accused of intentionally harming her son, Jack, is told by that mother, Grace. The book begins at the end of 2000 and continues through time of the destruction of the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001. The magnitude of destruction of the Twin Towers was used to mirror the destruction Grace faces. Both catastrophes were about terrorism, albeit different types. It took the total destruction of the Towers for the readers to empathize with the loss Grace experiences. I loved this book for the knowledge it imparted, the empathy it evoked, and the light it shed on a topic with which I was unfamiliar. There were different factions involved, each was essentially in the right, but they worked at cross-purposes for the same goal, which was for the best interests of the child. Grace fought to keep custody of Jack while CPS litigated to keep Grace away. Both were divided by the best interests of Jack and this conflict created the novel's major theme of social justice. But is it social justice to protect a child from its mother? It depends on whether the mother is trying to harm her child, as in MSBP, or whether she is being very diligent in securing the best medical care for a child suffering from a rare genetic disorder. In a stroke of genius, Maribeth Fischer compares the unjust accusations against Grace by her state to the Salem witch trials of 1692. These trials were based on fear, because "...the trials began with the unexplained illness of a child, and because over half of the indictments against witches involved the sickness or deaths of children." The effect of child-loss on this Salem community would have been terrifying. The community would put a name on its fear. Their fear and blame is given to an innocent woman. The thought was that now the community would be safe from her spells on children. It is horrible to think the equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials could happen in the year 2001. Fear of the unknown cause of Jack's illness betrays science, because it can not provide an answer, and ultimately betrays Grace. This is also a love story of Stephen, her husband, and Grace played against Grace's adultery with Noah, her ex from twenty years ago. The secondary story line makes a nice juxtaposition of themes. This secondary theme connects to the main theme of Grace's trials and tribulations allowing the characters to incorporate today's moral code. In the American judicial system a family should not have to live fearfully hoping not to have their children raided from their home. But if you want to know what this court decided

Between a rock and a hard place: mothering a sick child

In "The Life You Longed For," Maribeth Fischer exquisitely captures the fierceness born out of necessity of mothering a sick child that everyone but the mother has given up on. By it's very nature, mitrochondrial disease is elusive in diagnosis, perplexing in symptoms and frustrating to doctors who cannot seem to stop it's inexorable progress. The Connolly's finally have a diagnosis for their three year old son, Jack but one that carries very few clear answers. Do nothing or do everything to help him? Those questions inhabit every character in one way or another in this story that seeks to make sense of the senseless -children that no one, not doctors, not God, not even love may end up saving. Grace Connolly, despite the odds, is determined to save her son. Her every word and action become subject to painful scrutiny causing a cascade of unfathomable events that make this book impossible to put down. Grace's loss of control, her guilt as a wife and mother converge in a perfect storm of heartbreaking grief. The relentless bureaucracy that unfolds is both terrifying and torturous adding more pain and suffering than any one family should have to endure. Grace Connolly is a woman swallowed whole by motherhood until she is barely recognizable to even herself. Ms. Fischer realistically details the nuances of how people perceive themselves, each other and circumstance; how and where they find comfort and solace and their final day of reckoning. If you've ever struggled with forgiving or being forgiven, "The Life You Longed For" will resonate in perfect pitch. Ms.Fischer's ability to weave historical and scientific fact, particularly of the Salem Witch trials lends a unique perspective to the terror of mothering sick children in any era. The centuries old insistance of blaming the mother first is haunting long after you finish reading. Don't miss this book- a terrific starting point for discussions on motherhood, children who die, grief and forgiveness.

The Life You Longed For: A Novel

The reviewers who have called this book an "exploration" are right on target. I was a little disappointed to see the number of jacket blurbs from authors who are women because I thought it may have suggested that this is a woman's book, and it is no more necessarily a woman's book than Job is necessarily a man's book. Both books feature a central character whose life is animated by unconditional love and devotion; in both cases the character ends up in trouble for that very reason; and, in both cases much of the book is consumed in an effort to discover what it all means. There is a kind of diabolical cleverness in the plot, in which the mother of a terminally ill child, a woman who is struggling to keep the child alive in a world that sees his death as a foregone conclusion is suddenly accused of Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy (MSBP), that is, of making the child sicker as a means of getting attention. The accusation forces her to question everything: her own motivations, her relationships, and her perception of reality. MSBP is the perfect tool to pry the truth of things out of the plot because the observable symptoms of it are all the same observable traits of a devoted and caring mother. The facts don't much matter when the conclusion is known. One could carry the comparison with Job too far but his friends did spend most of the book spinning out potential reasons for his plight: all of them wrong. Ms. Fischer's writing is especially effective because it is full of highly detailed images and metaphors so the reader is submerged in a concrete world where everything can be visualized and felt. Just as is the case with MSBP, the details are very important but they are not enough. Just what is enough - well, you'll need to read the book to find that out. There's enough meat in this book to keep a book club busy. The fundamental questions about love and personal motivations and the presence of evil in the world will keep resonating long after the book is closed.

Pick this for your book club

The Life You Longed For is an awesome book for a book club because it has a good story and also teaches you a lot as you read it. Along side the exciting drama of a mom accused of making her child sick to gain attention, the author weaves in intriguing historical facts about the Salem witchcraft trials. She connects how the community of Salem accused women of being witches when it couldn't explain unfortunate events, like the death children, just as the mother in the story, Grace, is accused of causing harm when her son's illness baffles his doctors. The author also brings in tons of interesting facts about birds and diseases in general, as two of her main characters are an ornithologist and an epidemiologist. The research in the book makes you feel like you've learned something substantial by the end of it. The controversy the book presents makes for a great discussion.