The Household Guide to Dying

by Debra Adelaide

Book Overview

A freshly insightful, hopeful, and dramatic fiction full of heart and life--told from the perspective of a household advice columnist, who is determined to finish a lifetime's worth of tasks even though she doesn't have a lifetime left to live.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0399155597
• ISBN13: 9780399155598
• Release Date: April 2009
• Publisher: G. P. Putnam's Sons
• Length: 311 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.3" x 6.1" x 9.4"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Beautiful and poignant

This novel covers the last months of the life of Delia, a woman who is dying much too early from cancer. The fact that Delia is dying is tragedy enough, but the reader soon comes to realize--as Delia copes with unfinished business in the time she has left--that she has faced an even greater tragedy previously in her life. Without going into detail, all this sadness could have made for one unrelentingly grim novel, except for the fortunate reality that Debra Adelaide is a gifted writer, and she gives Delia a delightfully witty and sardonic voice. Peppered throughout the novel are excerpts from Delia's household advice column, in which she deftly puts clueless homemakers in their place. Episodes involving Delia's effort to write one remaining book ("The Household Guide to Dying," from which the novel derives its title), such as her attempt to capture the perfect book cover photo, are also often hilarious and provide much-needed comic relief. Also remarkable is the depth of detail and characterization we see in this novel. Minor characters like the next-door neighbor come to life, and Adelaide does a terrific job of showing us what life is like for people living on the fringes of society. This is not a book with a happy ending, unless we derive some comfort from Delia's ultimate ability to face her death with acceptance. This novel teaches us a terrible, important lesson, captured well in this sentence where Delia is talking about her attempts to get her husband, Archie, to confront her impending death: "I had to tell him what I knew now, what even he didn't know, as closely as he was watching my life end: that you needed to embrace life and hold it as tightly as you could, all of it, before it slipped away like the armload of sand that it was." We cannot be reminded of that lesson too often, and this book is well worth reading simply for that reason.

The Household Guide to Dying

Debra Adelaide's latest book is written with a quiet eloquence in which she makes peace with her own mortality. Riddled with cancer that cannot be cured, Adelaide takes us on an Australian death trip that very existentially voices the ups and downs of a fascinating life soon to end. A newspaper advice columnist, editor, author and a teacher of creative writing, she handles the difficult dilemma of the death we all must face with great insight, humor and a gentle way of acceptance. The author does not dwell too long on the terrible pain and suffering which accompanies this type of dying. She is not obsessed with self pity or in a state of depression or denial. More concerned with the family and friends she will leave behind, the author has penned a book probably not of real interest to the general public, a memoir destined for a limited audience, those of us who are dying, and those of us dying quickly.

Touching, funny Book of Death

This is an unusual combination of household lore & hints, a literary survey of writing about death, and an extremely moving story of a woman coming to terms with her own impending death, and an earlier tragedy that has marked her life. It's a book of layers, but its complexity is accessible and truly felt. Among other things, the book is an extraordinary history of Australian domesticity, while achieving the combination of the actual book Delia is writing alongside the book of that writing. My relation to laundry will be forever marked by thoughts of Delia: a survival in another kind of lawn (read the book to work out the significance of lawns). It connects to real tragedy, but without fuss, and so avoids bookishness. That's the wonderful paradox of The Household Guide: it's literary without being bookish. I laughed, sobbed, and was inspired by the combination of humanity and great writing.

A charming, funny & hopeful story

A quick glance at the title of this book might make you think it's going to be a depressing, sad novel about death....but you couldn't be more wrong. Though she is a published author of several novels, Delia (the main character) primarily writes a domestic advice column. She also happens to be a mom, a wife and in the end stages of her battle with cancer. Given her successful career as a writer of a wonderful "household advice" column, she decides that her final book should be a guidebook on how to organize and manage the household when someone is dying. She accomplishes this heavy burden by approaching the subject with a sense of humor which endears her to her readers. Don't think that she's making fun of such an important topic, she just has decided to deal with the inevitable with what might come across to the casual reader as a flippant and irreverent attitude. I personally had a 41 year old friend with two young children and a sweet husband die from cancer almost one year ago and she handled the experience in a very similar manner, helping put other people at ease during a very trying time. I'm sure she pitied those of us who loved her so dearly because she knew we would all have to live on and deal with our loss as she found peace. And that is exactly how the author of this book created a character who becomes very real to its readers.

An endearing book

Delia Bennett is dying of cancer. She is a daughter, wife, mother, writer, domestic goddess, and an advice columnist. We see the world through her eyes as she accepts the end. She is even writing a manual entitled, "The Household Guide to Dying." She struggles with how to say goodbye to everyone and what she can leave behind for them. Delia does not feel sorry for herself, in fact, she keeps up her every day life and goes on as though nothing unusual is happening to her and/or her family. She continues to write her advice column which we get to read from the people who write to her and her responses. We get to follow along as she writes her last book about dying. Delia is a very likeable and unusual protagonist. Since Delia is a bibliophile; therefore, there are many literary references in this book. Many Jane Austen references are made and the death poet, John Donne, has his fair share. This book is wonderfully well written and should touch every reader in one way or another. Even if it's not the way you would want to go out of this world, you will be abel to appreciate it as Delia's way. This is a very touching and moving book.