The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

by Elaine N. Aron

Book Overview

Do you fall in love hard, but fear intimacy? Are you sick of being told that you are "too sensitive"? Do you struggle to respect a less-sensitive partner? Or have you given up on love, afraid of being too sensitive or shy to endure its wounds? Statistics show that 50 percent of what determines divorce is genetic temperament. And, if you are one of the 20 percent of people who are born highly sensitive, the risk of an unhappy relationship is especially high. Your finely tuned nervous system, which picks up on subtleties and reflects deeply, would be a romantic asset if both you and your partner understood you better. But without that understanding, your sensitivity is likely to be making your close relationships painful and complicated. Based on Elaine N. Aron's groundbreaking research on temperament and intimacy, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love offers practical help for highly sensitive people seeking happier, healthier romantic relationships. From low-stress fighting to sensitive sexuality, the book offers a wealth of practical advice on making the most of all personality combinations. Complete with illuminating self-tests and the results of the first survey ever done on sex and temperament, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love will help you discover a better way of living and loving .

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767903366
• ISBN13: 9780767903363
• Release Date: January 2001
• Publisher: Harmony
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.59 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.4" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

Didn’t get a whole lot out of it, but that’s probably my fault

I binge-read most of this, so take what I say with a grain of salt — I might have gotten more out of it if I had taken my time. There were some good tips in here about how temperament affects relationships and how to encourage successful relationships in every combination of traits. However, a lot of it I didn’t really agree with or felt irrelevant or redundant somehow, I’m not sure why. But again, maybe if I’d had more time to reflect and process it, it would have had more meaning to me.

Love can truly drive a highly sensitive person nutty

The chemicals associated with what scientists call falling in love can really overwhelm the nervous system of an HSP. A particular nerve is activated in the state of attraction that can, even in non-HSPs, create a hypomania state. In the HSP this is like searing the brain with a toxic mixture of hyper-stimulants through the entire organ. A state that is wonderful for most can be the most ungrounding experience if not fraught with fear and dread. This is one book to guide an HSP into staying peaceful in the realm of love.

Buy It. Save Yourself Some Work

If you are a highly sensitive person with a non-HSP partner this book is very helpful. First of all, HSPs are often capable of delivering incredibly long explanations of their behavior to select quarters. When called on to explain themselves to a partner, they can speak in epics. If you are in this position, save yourself some time. Someone has already written the epic. I have sensed and/or mentioned -most- of the relationship problems in this book. However, my observations and intuitions were spread out over the course of the entire relationship. I'm sure that many of my observations did not penetrate the mind of my partner as being significant. Thus, they weren't as useful as they should have been. This book lays it out bluntly and clearly, for all to see. This is extremely important for both partners. The book affirms what the HSP already intuited, and it gives the non-HSP a reference. Non-HSPs seem to feel much happier when they are given a reference. They do not dwell in an intuitive world of twenty thousand grays supplemented by prior reading. If you're having trouble in your relationship and you're highly sensitive, give yourself some relief, give your partner a much-deserved break. Get this, read it together. S/he will be relieved, and so will you. Buy it. Save yourself some work.

An encouraging and informative read

In my annual Valentine's Day funk over being perpetually unattached, I bought this book. It was the perfect purchase. It has helped me discover ways (that aren't totally alien to my personality) that I can use for trying to meet somebody special, and what seems like a good guide to the types of things I'll feel and experience as I get into relationships.

Well worth reading - Go for it!

After reading the first three reviews, I put off buying this book. I got the impression that it might be just a rehash of Elaine Aron's previous HSP books which I already own.Nothing could be further from the truth! This book is packed with useful information and practical strategies for HSPs to use to build solid, fulfilling relationships. I gleaned many insights and ideas that I plan to use to enhance my relationships with my family and friends as well as with my husband.If you're serious about building a happy, fulfilling life as an HSP, I highly recommend this book.

Desperately Needed

I am a highly sensitive person even though I have spent 20 years trying to be otherwise. I realize that my mate needs to respond and react differently than what is "normal." Another excellent book for dealing with sensitive people is THE ROMANTIC'S GUIDE.