The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation

by Alan E. Fruzzetti

Book Overview

You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples--pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame--need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 157224450X
• ISBN13: 9781572244504
• Release Date: December 2006
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 192 Pages
• Weight: 0.63 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 6.1" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Would be great if there wasn't handwriting on every page

The condition of this book supposed to be "like new" but it has notes in black ink on almost every page! How is this like new? Did the author make these notes???

Great book for people seeking help in a struggling relationship!

This book really helped me understand some of the dynamics of my marriage that I had previously been confused by. I couldn't figure out how two people who love each other so much could rip each other to shreds in times of conflict. It's written very clearly and the exercises are great for helping you become more aware and less reactive. I would recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in a relationship and seeks to make it better.

analytically oriented help for conflict-prone couples

High Conflict Couple is a concise, easy to understand guide for couples seeking to deepen their relationship and ease their conflicts. Its tone is a bit crisper, cooler, and more analytical than most marriage guides. This is actually its strength, speaking to the analytical half of your relationship in a straight-forward way they will appreciate and understand even if they shy away from most relationship-help books as being too touchie-feelie. The message is the same as many guides, that validation (lingo for healthy supportive loving communication) is the key to a happy, intimate relationship-- and it is the key. This book helps approach that need from the angle of couples or individuals who have already been conflict-prone. The book has open-ended exercises that are useful if a bit vague, precise examples, and very good flow from chapter to chapter, start to finish. Even the layout is accessible with short measured segments that allow the reader to pause and reflect frequently. Pair this with The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert for a complete set of paperback marriage counseling: that book contains many accessible examples, detailed exercises, and 2-person activities to try with your partner. I highly recommend the combination of the two books. Regardless, if you're the emotional half of your relationship, get High Conflict Couple for your emotionally-challenged partner. If you're the analytical half, the guide will speak to you right away, and you'll wonder why nobody ever explained it to you in such a direct easy to understand way. Highly recommended whether you are in a happy relationship, a struggling one, or struggling to understand why a relationship failed.

DBT for anger management

Author Fruzzetti does a wonderful job of presenting the DBT interpersonal and mindfulness skills training in a way that allows my patients to begin a process of change. Although there is resistance when first encountered, as the patient continues to read and put into practice the suggested techniques, i.e. "rule of three validations," the favorable outcomes result in their continued use. Recommended for all clinicians dealing with resentment and anger issues.

Highly recommended to improve your relationship!

This book is an important new resource not only for people concerned about relationship conflict. Anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, or other "individual" emotional problems who is also in an intimate relationship could benefit. More and more, psychologists are discovering just how important relationships are to what we once thought were individual personal problems. This wonderful book is rich with real life examples and straightforward exercises every reader can do. This book is highly recommended for anyone wanting to improve their relationship with their partner!

A great resource for all couples!

This book is full of practical tips on how to make any couple's relationship better. It places a lot of emphasis on validation (what it is, how to validate and how we frequently inadvertantly invalidate each other without realizing it). Each chapter includes exercises to practice what was discussed. The exercises essentially help a couple to start to immediately put into practice what was discussed in the chapter; it's amazing how the techniques, though not complicated, really seem to work. In summary, the book is well organized, easy to read, and an extremely effective way for a couple motivated toward change to move forward in a positive way. Thank you!