Grace in Dying: A Message of Hope, Comfort and Spiritual Transformation

by Kathleen Dowling Singh

Book Overview

A moving illumination of the final transition of our lives.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0062515659
• ISBN13: 9780062515650
• Release Date: March 2000
• Publisher: HarperOne
• Length: 352 Pages
• Weight: 0.64 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.3" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

An excellent resource book

Unless you believe that when we die, we cease to exist(period, end of life), and whether or not you work with the terminally ill, this book is a must read. This book does not tell us other people's stories, nor is it for those who are dying, or dealing with the immediate death of a loved one. It is for the rest of us. Be advised - this is not an easy read - my copy of the book, which took 5 times longer to read than my usual reading choice - is riddled with scribbled comments, question-marks, exclamation points, and words circled and underlined. Let me also add, this is not my style. I'm a lazy reader.This is a well-written course in the evolution and retrogression of our individual lives, for (deny it though we might), you and I are going to die. The questions that worry us most are most probably "when" and "how." Singh cannot answer the former, but this book will help with parts of the latter.Much of what Singh tells us is based on experiences of those who have worked with those who are terminally ill, in addition to her own observations. Whether we believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, a Higher Power, Nature, Singh maintains that the point of dying is to return us to the place from which we came. She reminds us that we come into the world thinking we are the center of the Universe. Perhaps we were right, for it may be that at birth we are as close to the Creator as we will get, until death takes us back. She describes how we spend our youth and young adult life developing, then defending our sense of self. We live, often most pleasantly, in constant denial of our own mortality, a truth that seems too bleak to accept.In the latter part of life, we may hold tightly to our ego, but our body begins to betray us. If we are slowly dying of cancer, AIDS, or the illnesses of old age, we can grow into acceptance of the insulting truth that our ego is not the true "us." One dying woman described it as having an "ego-ectomy.Singh presents us with additional stages of dying, expanding on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. Kubler-Ross' stages dealt with the affects on the ego, or mind; medical science gives us physical stages. Singh offers the theory that we go through necessary spiritual stages before dying, whether or not we have been looking for spiritual transformation. Dying offers us a crash course, the equivalent of a spiritual shotgun wedding. When we are stripped of everything we thought made us unique, a universal specialness is revealed. Regardless of when it happens - years, months or seconds from our death - we will come to realize the unimportance of what was once important. And despite ourselves we will stumble upon our own unity with that Force we call many things - God, Universe, Light. I feel more convinced than ever that death is not a negative, dark force I must flail against, but the other side of living, a door I must go through. That I'll figure it out at t

Before You Go...A Must Read....

Unless you believe that when we die, we cease to exist (period, end of life), and whether or not you work with the terminally ill, this book is a must read. This book does not tell us other people's stories, nor is it for those who are dying, or dealing with the immediate death of a loved one. It is for the rest of us. Be advised - this is not an easy read - my copy of the book, which took 5 times longer to read than my usual reading choice - is riddled with scribbled comments, question-marks, exclamation points, and words circled and underlined. Let me also add, this is not my style. I'm a lazy reader.This is a well-written course in the evolution and retrogression of our individual lives, for (deny it though we might), you and I are going to die. The questions that worry us most are most probably "when" and "how." Singh cannot answer the former, but this book will help with parts of the latter.Much of what Singh tells us is based on experiences of those who have worked with those who are terminally ill, in addition to her own observations. Whether we believe in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, a Higher Power, Nature, Singh maintains that the point of dying is to return us to the place from which we came. She reminds us that we come into the world thinking we are the center of the Universe. Perhaps we were right, for it may be that at birth we are as close to the Creator as we will get, until death takes us back. She describes how we spend our youth and young adult life developing, then defending our sense of self. We live, often most pleasantly, in constant denial of our own mortality, a truth that seems too bleak to accept.In the latter part of life, we may hold tightly to our ego, but our body begins to betray us. If we are slowly dying of cancer, AIDS, or the illnesses of old age, we can grow into acceptance of the insulting truth that our ego is not the true "us." One dying woman described it as having an "ego-ectomy.Singh presents us with additional stages of dying, expanding on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' denial; anger; bargaining; depression; acceptance. Kubler-Ross' stages dealt with the affects on the ego, or mind; medical science gives us physical stages. Singh offers the theory that we go through necessary spiritual stages before dying, whether or not we have been looking for spiritual transformation. Dying offers us a crash course, the equivalent of a spiritual shotgun wedding. When we are stripped of everything we thought made us unique, a universal specialness is revealed. Regardless of when it happens - years, months or seconds from our death - we will come to realize the unimportance of what was once important. And despite ourselves we will stumble upon our own unity with that Force we call many things - God, Universe, Light. I feel more convinced than ever that death is not a negative, dark force I must flail against, but the other side of living, a door I must go through. That

Substantial treatise of lasting value

Having been disappointed by a large number of American "life-changing" books, put down by the facile treatment of difficult subjects, big words and sheer superficiality, I approached this volume with caution. Having worked with the dying (as M.D.), I know how difficult it is to put the wordless into words in a way that is not dry, sentimental or missing the mark. Only Sogyal Rinpoche`s Tibetan book of living and dying has expressed what I`ve been looking for, but it does come from another culture and background, and can be more inspiring than applicable if you are not yourself of Buddhist faith.So I was frankly amazed at The grace in dying: Clarity without being cold, scientific precision without intellectualizing, warmth without being sentimental, the balance between the academic and the personal, the true picture being given of what working with the dying entails, and what it can lead to.In short, this book is one of the few masterpieces I`ve read in latter years. I feel certain it will age well and retain its value and relevance for many years to come. A soft-spoken trailblazer.

A book as much about LIVING as about dying

This book is a deeply felt and miraculous exploration of Spirit. As much a book about living as dying, the author examines how the human psyche develops over a lifetime -- and then how that "self" unravels to merge with Spirit when we die. And she writes so well! Thoroughly researched and supported by decades of observation in a hospice -- this isn't New Age goobly-gook. It's a rich, dense, profound illumination of how we are transformed when we approach death. Making death the natural -- though still terrifying and mysterious -- progression in the devlopment of Spirit that it is.

A comfort for the aging

As I approached middle age, I felt this know in my stomach start to develop, but I pushed it down as far as I could. In the last few years, I've come to realize that this knot is all of my fear of growing old and of dying. I had become obsessed with it in my mind. I cannot describe the anxiety that I was filled with. Up until a few weeks ago. I read Grace in Dying and for the first time I knew, really knew, that dying wasn't this horrible end, but it was a beautiful, natural event, just as profound as living. Now, I'm still in no rush to die, and still have some fear in me, but I know that when it does come it will be safe. I will be safe. What a comfort Singh has provided. I am truly grateful for this book.