The Divorce Culture

by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead

Book Overview

the author's Atlantic Monthly article "Dan Quayle Was Right" ignited a media debate on the effects of divorce that rages still. In this book she expands her argument, making it clear Americans need to... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0679432302
• ISBN13: 9780679432302
• Release Date: January 1997
• Publisher: Knopf Publishing Group
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 1.25 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.6" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

Havent even read it and I like it

ok-- not the most helpful review! (as I havent read the book) lol BUT, the book caught my eye enough that I am offering a "pre" view insight as to why I am going to buy this: I have been a single mom, dating for 5 years and NOT ONCE have I met a man serious about dating and marriage in my new-found singledom (Ex husband, btw dumped me for my ex-best friend and both of them are now on their 4th marriage together). Its all about "the me syndrome" getting what they can for nothing, with no obligations or committment. A free-ride for sex, fun and NO respect for love and values anymore. Maybe some of you would turn your heads away and call me bitter-- but take a look at your own dating these days? How many of you, women in particular are tired of the dating run-around this society promotes? I'm tired-- we need a change-- I hope this book offers me some helpful insights-- its at least worth trying...

Completely mind-opening

This book examines families for what they are supposed to be -- stable institutions for the raising of children. Of course, when there is abuse, whether it be chemical, physical, sexual, or emotional, a family cannot function properly. But when parents get divorced to find "personal fulfillment," they do so at the great expense of their children and ultimately society. The book argues for putting children's needs above parents' wants. It's a bit radical, because I believe most of us think of marriages in terms of strictly romance, and when that romance is gone, so is the marriage.The book examines how the easy culture of divorce leads into other areas of life -- how we divorce friends, family, and jobs much quicker than we used to. But has this great pursuit of happiness, under the guise of divorce, really made us happier? It's taught us that when the going gets rough, it's time to say good-bye. The book examines what happens to children after divorce, and overwhelmingly the children are much worse emotionally and financially, no matter what we want to believe.My husband of 20 years filed for divorce four months ago (we have four children, all under the age of 14). A friend to whom I will forever remain indebted "made" us both read this book. It simply changed our lives. We've quit being selfish and have resolved to stick by for better AND for worse. Life is far from perfect, but I am 100% certain that all our lives are better now than they would be during and after the turmoil of divorce. The book argues that when children are involved, a home is broken, and since home is a critical element in a child's self-esteem, there is no doubt that a child's self-esteem is affected as well.Ms. Whitehead deserves a Pulitzer Prize for daring to say what needs to be said to protect our world's most precious commodity: our children. This should be an absolute must-read for anyone even contemplating divorce.

This book makes clear all the real truths about divorce.

As a divorced man, I had thoughts and beliefs that my divorce was unnecessary and could have been avoided. This book verified all that I had been thinking about divorce. At the current rate, divorce has serious potential to destroy the very fabric that our society is built on. If you are considering a divorce or are getting divorced, read this book! It is in the best interest to save every marriage that we can.

Must read for any person contemplating divorce.

If you want a feel good book about your decision to divorce, this is not the book for you. If you are seriously concerned about the welfare of your children, this is an absolute must read. Yes, there are times when divorce is the only option available. When I found myself in this sad precidament, I realized my most important responsibility was to my children. The information in this book empowered me to give my children--who were innocent victims of my divorce--the best chance possible for surviving and thriving. It was not necessarily a comfortable read for me, but in retrospect, was absolutely crucial to my children's welfare. Buy it. Read it.

An excellent view of the tragic result of easy divorce.

As a child of divorce I found "The Divorce Culture" by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead fascinating and wonderful. It gave me some answers I have been looking for during my life as I have undertaken to be husband and father without making the mistakes of my parents. Her account of the development of the divorce culture, and most importantly the philosophical basis for that development, is a most important contribution to the current debate on the problems facing the American Family in the late 20th century. Nothing develops in a vacuum and the rise of divorce is not an exception. Ms. Whitehead looks at the social and historical framework that defined the family and the ends to which that framework was built to serve. By comparing the social and historic record to the theories and forecasts made before the divorce revolution, she gives us the most clear summary possible in a work meant for the public, of the failure of those theories to meet or even suggest the results of large scale divorce on the society and on the children specifically. Personally, I was able to understand that my parents had a whole social-economic model that suggested to them, however incorrectly, that it was ok for them to divorce, and by divorcing they might be doing my siblings and I a favor. The model was wrong, and now Ms. Whitehead has written, clearly and without jargon, but with full bibliographical references, that this was so. She may be forgiven for making suggestions for solving the problems of divorce that seem vague and general. She states that it will take a change in the views of individuals to change the culture of throwaway marriages. In this she is no doubt correct, and therefore suggesting how this is to be done is by nature vague and general. We must each, on our own with our spouses, make decisions and sacrifices that will make the committed family the pillar of our culture again. Ms. Whitehead has suffered the barrage of negative criticism that comes with challenging the accepted wisdom of the culture. She has been attacked as a reactionary by those who incorrectly equate easy divorce with liberation. She shows however, that easy divorce instead limits most of the women, and children, of divorce into the lowest levels of society and the economy. Ms. Whitehead has been attacked by those who say she would suggest that women should stay in an abusive or violent marriage for the "sake of the children." Anyone who gives this work even a casual reading will see that Ms. Whitehead makes clear that divorce has an important role in extreme cases. However she correctly points out that the vast majority of divorces are not for these extreme reasons. I would recommend this work for anyone curious how divorce became so common in America. I would also suggest that anyone in the field of marriage counseling, especially those counseling prospective couples, recommend this book to their clients.