The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family

by Karyn B. Purvis, Wendy Lyons Sunshine, David R. Cross, et al.

Book Overview

"An extremely useful parenting handbook... truly outstanding ... strongly recommended."
--Library Journal (starred review)

"A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike."
--Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption

The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family--and...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0071475001
• ISBN13: 9780071475006
• Release Date: April 2007
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.9" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

THE Best adoption resource

Brilliant!! The wisdom in this book has made our stressful house a home full of laughter and peace. We saw changes in our internationally adopted children within days. I especially appreciate that they write from a stand point of hope not despair. I have read 20+ books on adoption, attachment and behavior - this is the best resource available. Very practical advice for how to parent at-risk kids. Every adoptive parent should read this book.

Awesome! Some professionals who actually "get it"

"The Connected Child" is a MUST for anyone considering adoption or foster care of children and is great for families with any child who has experienced the trauma of abuse, neglect, abandonment, loss of parent, divorce, or other intensely emotional circumstances. It seems some people think because kids still "laugh and play" that they are o'kay after some of these events. This book explains that brain function and chemistry are effected by trauma. Behavior and learning are effected by neurochemisty, and the authors' research showed signifiant improvement in neurotransmitter activity with children who participated in their study. I consider the expertise of Dr. Purvis and Dr. Cross to be the best I've found in 16 years of searching for answers. Furthermore, their book gives practical strategies for dealing with sensory dysfunction, learning/language issues, and behavior problems. Once a parent better understands these approaches, many power struggles between the child and parent can be avoided, lessened, or altogether prevented. As a "horse whisperer" tames the wild stallion so Dr. Purvis calms the troubled child and has been affectionately nicknamed the "child whisperer." Our family will be forever grateful. Debbie Jones

A really helpful resource

I adopted a child at birth who is now 9. She has since been diagnosed with a mood disorder--probably bi-polar. The Connected Child was as helpful to me as Ross Greene's books about the Explosive Child. I learned something new from every chapter, especially the last few chapters on Dealing with Defiance, Nurturing at Every Opportunity and Proactive Strategies to Make Life Easier. Simple suggestions made by the authors, such as watching for signs of overload, speaking with authority, rehearsing the child for what's coming, helping your child identify emotions, among many others have stuck with me. I've even used them successfully. The book is written simply and clearly, easy to skim through to find sections that apply to your situation. I highly recommend this book. Erica Manfred

Great resource for all parents

Though this book was targeted for adoptive and foster parents, this book is a great resource for all parents who desire a nurturing approach to discipline. The authors have provided many practical suggestions for parenting and teaching that can be easily implemented.

Quietly creating miracles around the world

If you are thinking about adopting a child from a foreign country or even a child who has been shuttled from foster home to foster home, you must read this book first if you want to raise a happy and healthy child. There are dozens of parenting books on the market, but what makes this book so very special is the authors' ground-breaking, empirical research with adopted children. Their research has been done at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, TX (http://www.child.tcu.edu/) Their discoveries and methods are unique because they use a wholistic approach to healing the wounded child. The result is that they are quietly creating miracles as their methods are learned by others and spread around the world. Their research is also helping other at-risk children, including those with autism. According to the authors, structural changes take place in the brains of infants who were abused or deprived prior to adoption. Unfortunately, it is common practice in some foreign orphanages for babies to be laid on their backs for 24-hours a day, with a bottle propped into their mouths, and lying in soiled clothing. They are never cuddled or talked to because it makes them cry for more attention. These orphanages become eerily silent as babies eventually give up their voices. Similarly, toddlers beg for food from their cribs, only to be ignored. Many children are sexually abused in these orphanages. Many adoptive parents believe that all they have to do is adopt the baby, and love and nurture it, and everything will be fine. However, the authors' research shows that these parents are about to face the biggest, and perhaps the most expensive, challenge of their lifetime. Happily, that challenge will be rewarding, and more likely to succeed, if they read "The Connected Child" and practice the authors' advice. And so should their pediatrician or any other caregiver! They will understand what made their child unapproachable, angry, fearful, sexually precocious, sleepless, aggressive or withdrawn. Most importantly, they will have the knowledge and the tools they need to ensure their child develops normally. The authors' research grew out of a summer camp they developed for adopted children with emotional and behavioral problems. Saliva and urine tests were done on each child. The chemical results were shocking! They discovered that the childrens' neurotransmitter levels were off the charts. They also discovered that when they used specific behavioral interventions, and gave them special supplements with the support of a doctor, the childrens' neutrotransmitter levels began to normalize. Their behavior changed completely! Here are three success stories described in the book: (1) "Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and reactive attachment disorder (RAD), a six-year-old girl didn't allow her parents to cuddle her. She had to be socially isolated because she would growl, writhe on the floor, and physically attack her sister and brother. In