The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce

by Jeffrey Zimmerman, Elizabeth Thayer, Elizabeth S. Thayer

Book Overview

This book helps parents in the aftermath of divorce learn to sustain a healthy co-parenting relationship and offers specifics for solving day-to-day problems, disciplining, and handling conflict during transitional times and special events.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1572242450
• ISBN13: 9781572242456
• Release Date: July 2001
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.69 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 6.1" x 9.1"

Customer Reviews

The book I wish I had written

I am a play therapist, author of "The Successful Divorce, In The Eyes of the Child" course and have taught parenting divorced for nine years. This is the book that says it all. The authors teach in clear logical manner how to co parent your children. They are sensitive to the pain both parents and children feel post divorce and teach how to proceed in parenting. I frequently use sections of their book in teaching to remind parents that they must still work together enough to meet children's needs. This is a concise book, no long drawn out narratives or tales of others pain... just the facts and how to avoid the pitfalls. I and the children of divorce, owe these authors a huge thank you. Their new book is also great,

5 gift copies (and counting)

when i divorced two years ago, reasonably contentiously and with a four year old daughter, the best advice i got was to read this book. i did, with highlighter in hand, and found it absolutely invaluable. i continue to this day to consider it absolutely invaluable! such that, i just ordered a gift copy for my brother and his new wife, to help them with my niece and her co-parent. that gift brings the total i've purchased for others up to five. its an unfortunate reality that there will probably be more in the future, but the book helps immensely and so there will be gifts.

Trust this author with your children

I went through a high-conflict divorce in Connecticut in 2004, complete with restraining orders, police, and the whole 9 yards. As I saw the divorce approaching, I researched a great deal of divorce/parenting literature on my own, hoping to find a framework of something my (soon-to-be) ex and I could agree to work with, and I found this book. I read it and gave a copy to my ex. I also found an divorce/custody attorney who would focus on our children's interests, and his very first recommendation was to get this book and see Dr. Thayer in her practice jointly with my ex. I'm grateful I had the expertise of Dr. Thayer to help me let go of conflicts I had with my ex. The guiding principle of the book and her joint practice (which is called The Peace Program) is to transform a personal, contentious relationship with an ex into a business-like relationship focused on the children's welfare. In a high-conflict divorce, this is a very difficult objective -- conflict can be blinding and all-consuming -- but it is possible, and the energy is of course better spent on the children. The book outlines suggestions to facilitate parenting business, such as a weekly parenting phone call (a business call) and a dozen Golden Parenting Rules. In the end, after the parents extinguish their fighting, the children get their parents back, and a good deal of their childhood back, because the parents choose to work together as co-parents. Through the 18 months I've been using this book, I find myself living in various chapters of it, depending on the evolution of my divorce. As the children get older, new issues arise, and the book remains on the top shelf of my bookshelf, where my most useful books reside.

Protecting Children

I have been a psychotherapist specializing in divorce issues for almost 18 years. The Co-Parenting Survival Guide is primary recommended reading for all my warring ex-couples. It is practical, realistic and right on target for this usually angry population. It can prevent irreparable harm to children of divorce, since the most prevalent cause of divoce-related damage to children is continued animosity between their parents. Buying a copy for an ex-spouse as well as for yourself will be an investment in the emotional well-being of your children.

Highly Recommended

This book is absolutely crucial reading for anyone who is trying to co-parent in the aftermath of a difficult separation and/or divorce. The tone of the book is positive while remaining solidly realistic about what you can and can't do, it's also excellent at forcing you to return your focus to what's most important...your children, without being judgmental of you the parent. Those of us in this very challenging and difficult situation will feel encouraged and supported in the decision to raise the children together despite the hostility, anger, hurt and grief. This book made me see the light at the end of the tunnel and gave me hope and I feel certain it can do the same for others, I can't recommend it highly enough. I don't know how the authors know so precisely what the common issues and behavior patterns are of parents in this situation, but they are completely right on.