The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life

by Kevin Leman and Dr. Leman, Kevin

Book Overview

Can birth-order mismatches wreck relationships? Leman guides singles and couples in avoiding conflicts and creating true, lasting intimacy. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 080075784X
• ISBN13: 9780800757847
• Release Date: January 2001
• Publisher: Fleming H. Revell Company
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

The Birth Order Connection:

This book is great!! I am a baby and I married a baby and boy can I really see the truth in all that Kevin Leman writes! Great author & speaker.

Not all theories have graphs

This book is life-changing. Maybe Dr. Leman's theories aren't backed by numerical data, but let's not forget--not all data can be gauged in graphs or contained in charts. In fact, Leman's opinions are backed by something more solid than statistics: his wealth of experience with the human condition. He has counseled virtually thousands of couples and thus lays claim to a vast understanding of personality types as well as the institution of marriage. Leman didn't write this book with the intent to impress some doctorate-seeking skeptic. He wrote it to help his readers use psychology to find marital bliss. It shows.

Interesting but not so objective

The author does a good job describing birth-order tendencies in an approachable way and applying knowledge about these tendencies to marriage. He does take a somewhat subjective approach, basing his conclusions on what he has seen in his marriage counseling practice and his own family, but his assertions ring true (plus the subjective approach makes the book more interesting). The author has some traditional views about dating, but he does not try to hide the fact that they are his personal views. The best thing about reading the book is that it is a fun topic to bring up in just about any conversation. Everyone has a birth order, and everyone knows people who fit the profile for their birth order and people who are exceptions. If you don't read this book, I strongly recommend reading some book on this topic.

One of the better relationship books

The Birth Order Connection is by far one of the better relationship books I've ever read. It helps to explain why people are the way they are and it then helps you match your spouse/significant other appropriately. I wish I had read the book years ago ... it would have saved me a lot of time, money and unnecessary heartache.

Surprisingly Interesting and Useful

I picked up THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION with a bit of skepticism. How can the order of your birth have anything to do with finding the right person to marry? It almost made me want to laugh out loud. A few chapters into the book convinced me I was wrong, and I was hooked. Dr. Leman has laid out a fantastic and pragmatic guidebook of principles and steps based upon the order of your birth that really can help you find a more compatible mate (to achieve, as he amusingly puts it, "couple power").Leman bases his thesis on the belief that your total family environment, not just your parents, shapes the kind of person you become. Firsts, middles, lasts, and onlies all have certain strengths and weaknesses that are determined by the roles that they have to play with their siblings. As a result, each birth type has a specific, better match with another birth type. Leman would've lost me if he would've played hard and fast with his rules, but he recognizes that their are exceptions. Sometimes, for example, middle children can take on the role of firstborns, depending on age gaps, the sex of the eldest, etc. It's all a bit complicated, but Leman does an excellent job of explaining the details and why it all works. The whole idea of birth order having such an effect on personality development became incredibly intriguing, but we must move on.So what does this all have to do with relationships? As already stated, Leman believes that each birth position has a better match with another birth position. The strengths of one will counter the weaknesses of another, equaling a better match. Also, understanding birth order can help make relationships and marriages stronger because, as with personality types, to understand birth order is to better understand your spouse. Finally, Leman lays out practical paths to follow in your dating relationships. Asking seven specific questions, for example, can help you determine if you really are compatible with the person you are seeing. Recognizing red flags will help you avoid a life of marital misery. And he lists important reasons to and not to consider when you marry.I've read quite a few books on relationships. Some are good (BOY MEETS GIRL, BOUNDARIES IN DATING) and some are not so good. THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION surprised me by being one of the best. Leman's ideas are not set in stone rules, but they are outstanding principles and guidelines that can help you make wise decisions in choosing someone to be with. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. It's well worth the ... investment. FIVE STARS.