The 91% Factor: Why Women Initiate 91% of Divorce, End Most Relationships, and What Can Be Done about It.

by Edward Baiamonte and Ted Baiamonte

No Synopsis Available.

• Format: Library Binding
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0963179926
• ISBN13: 9780963179920
• Release Date: June 1997
• Publisher: American Political Press (CT)
• Length: 251 Pages
• Weight: 1.02 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.2" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

Some important new facts about divorce and relationships

We all have been well trained by modern psychology to accept the idea that every food, drug, alcohol, sex, money, emotional, or physical abuser has an enabler, i.e, someone who supports or encourages the bad behavior. According to "The 91% Factor" if the above is true, then it must also be true that women (who initiate 91% of divorce) divorce men because of the abusive male behavior that they (women) somehow enable, and that women could also enable good or loving marital behavior, if only they understood or knew how. According to the book women initiate 91% of divorce because they have not enabled good or loving marital behavior. The book demonstrates that women naturally enable good behavior on the first few dates by withholding sex. This enables or encourages the man to act as responsibly and loving as possible in order to eventually secure the woman's love, sexual support and hand in marriage. But, after a relationship develops the woman changes her behavior dramatically by beginning to provide free sex (without the requirement of flowers or dinner or general affection, etc.); thus enabling or encouraging or teaching less and less loving male behavior. Eventually she blames the man for the poor behavior she has enabled with free sex, and eventually divorces him only to remarry and repeat the same pattern. Second marriages, it turns out, are shorter than first marriages despite what women think they have learned from the first failed marriage. This book helps women learn the right things from failing relationships. With divorce still at 50% certainly there must be something to learn? All things considered, it is an excellent and modern analysis of marriage with a Freudian emphasis on a woman's sexual power in the creation and destruction of her own family. Women will certainly object to using sex, or even recognizing the importance of sex but who can honestly argue that sex isn't designed to be at the heart of heterosexual relationships? The book is highly original, serious, and step by step logical. It asks you to look beyond the smugness and false wisdom which has created a 50% divorce rate, and broken homes for most of our children.

Fresh & Provocative

I am a 47-year-old woman, widowed after a happy 15-year marriage, and now in another satisfying partnership with a man. Neither the title nor the contents of this book offend me -- far from it -- I think it's time American women took some responsibility for our decision-making powers. As the author points out, and my experience validates, we women choose the relationships we want, nurture them, manipulate them, feed them or starve them, and untimately decide whether they thrive or die. Women want sex in a loving context. Men want sex to soothe, comfort, and reassure them. It's up to women to demonstrate to our men the power they have to turn us on or turn us off. I agree with some of the other reviewers that there's a fine line between sexual blackmail and honest, immediate communication about the sexual climate in a relationship. I would not recommend (as the author does) that you start making love and then stop in the middle with an admonition that you will not culminate the act until you feel loved. But there is nothing wrong with an instance rebuke of bad behaviour and an immediate move into the spare bedroom until it changes. These are issues that must be explored prior to marriage & kids --- for the sake of both genders. As the author also points out, it's men who suffer when women decide to terminate a marriage so men should welcome straight talk from a woman about her requirements for on-going sexual interest. As the author says, most men want to please us; they start out loving us and only resort to loveless sex if they are led to believe we don't care.

deceptively simple and ingenious,I think?

<< Deceptively simple and ingenious. If by relationships you mean heterosexual then getting the sex in some reasonable context is the most important thing according to this book. After all, nature draws the opposite sexes together expressly for the purpose of having sex or being sexually intimate. If not for sex we would prefer someone of the same sex with whom we have more in common, exactly the way children do until they reach puberty.(that was in the book) Sex is the glue that nature gave us, but it must be used properly; almost like food. The 91% Factor is all about what happens when couples fail to understand the meaning of sex in heterosexual relationships. More importantly, it is about how to use sex to create a loving long term relationship. This should be a given but we just don't know how to do it despite a flurry of books on sexual pleasure and techniques that miss the point completely. A very believable theory based on intimate first person sexual accounts of 30 couples on the way to divorce. Sort of like the Mars/Venus book in that it deals with the difference between men and women, but different in that it deals with intimate sexual/romantic differences rather than with why men like TV and women don't. The chapters on sexual frequency are fascinating. They go into great depth on the biological reason why men pursue sex while women grant it, and how the human family would not be possible if not for this precise evolutionary development. More importantly, it details how fighting this basic phenomena of nature can destroy heterosexual relationships, while seeking harmony with it will build a relationship. As a woman this all strikes me as a very new sort of "feminism in the bedroom" whereas in the past we have been concerned mostly with feminism in the boardroom. But, it is a feminism that men can like too since they tend to like sex in any context;even a context that includes a sexually aware woman.

Finally, an actionable theory

A fascinating theory based on the notion that heterosexual relationships are 1) primarily sexual (certainly from an evolutionary viewpoint this is true) and 2) fade, 50% to a female initiated divorce, because a woman's sexual power diminishes from the first date forward. The author claims, with much scientific support and measurement that on the first date a woman knows to withhold sex until the male has proved himself a worthy, long term lover, but in time, assuming a marriage or long term relationship, she comes to believe that sex is a free marital good which the male successfully demands and receives too much for his own good. Rather than being on his best and most affectionate "first date" behavior he is like a child served his favorite meal to often to the point where his appreciation of the thing he is programmed to value most is lost. Then, both feel unloved and eventually a divorce is the result. The author's statistical claim is that a female's sexual communication skill is best and most purposive on the first date, due to fundamental evolutionary forces, and fades thereafter as she slowly comes to believe, or is persuade by her mate, that her obligation is to provide sex on demand rather than in return for "first date" affectionate and loving behavior. An ingenious and actionable theory, based on much fact and observations of the sex life of many couples on route to divorce, to hopefully stem the 50% divorce rate. Who knows of a better theory,especially a better theory that can be remembered and acted on?

I heard this guy on the radio he is right on!!

I woke up this morning hearing about this book in a radio interview. He has nailed it! As a 25 year old in my fourth year of marriage i can say sex is certainly vital and knowing that things will change when you marry is too! The bottom line is everything changes, if you think it, you, or he won't..then never marrry because as he says...it will!