Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss

by Chuck DeKlyen and Pat Schwiebert

Book Overview

In this modern-day fable, a woman who has suffered a terrible loss cooks up a special batch of tear soup, blending the unique ingredients of her life into the grief process. Along the way she dispenses a recipe of sound advice for people who are in mourning.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0961519762
• ISBN13: 9780961519766
• Release Date: June 2005
• Publisher: Grief Watch
• Length: 51 Pages
• Weight: 1.23 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 8.7" x 11.0"
• Age Range: 8 to 12 years
• Grade Range: Grades 3 to 7

Customer Reviews

Very helpful on the path of loss recovery

2019 began a very tough journey of various loss in my family. 2019 adoption of then 3month old grandson. 2020 (loss of SIL), 2021 (loss of cousin), 2022 (loss of father) & most recently 2024 loss of my 23 yo son. All these losses and deaths were different in circumstances. My now 5 year old and I began exploring Tear Soup in 2022 and have read many many times since. Tear Soup does a very nice job for my little one and myself, in giving explanation of what I in particular am going through, as all the tears and heartache is tough for a little one to see, but when he knows that Grandy (protagonist of Tear Soup) is making tear soup with her grief - it’s easy for him to label & identify that to me. “Are you making tear soup again mama?” “Yes Bubby, a big ol pot today.” Sometime he makes tear soup too, but in his own way, which is clearly explained in this book- that everyone makes tear soup in their own way. There is one page that refers to God and Grandy being angry at God as she is sitting in her church service. We do not go to church but this is still a very powerful part of the story and could easily be omitted or verbiage modified if religious beliefs differ. One of my favorite points is how Grandy also navigates the grief process with friends and how sometimes it’s hard for some friends to be present with all her tear soup, but also how Grandy found/formed/reconnected in ways she may not have expected, which is exactly what I have experienced as well as my 5 year old. There are wonderful resources and suggestions at the end of the book that have helped guide me to better help my little guy through all this heartache. Tear Soup is truly a wonderful addition to our grief/sadness & healing resources and I encourage anyone dealing with loss to get a copy too. Everyone’s journey is unique. Loss and grief have different causes through all our lives & is simply unavoidable. These little rays of light, such as Tear Soup, are very appreciated in the forever healing path. I have gifted this book many times to friends that have experienced their own variations of loss; spouse leaving, pet dying, family member/friend battling illness.

My Favorite Book for Anyone with a Loss

Written in a children's book format - with simply worded concepts, wonderfully colored pictures, and a creative idea - this is one of those great books that actually feels written for adults as much as for school-age children.I've used lots of books on grief in 30 years of practicing psychotherapy. And this is the best! It's written in a way that gives the grieving mind and exhausted spirit a quick, hands-on idea of what's happening, and it gives fabulous permission to every reader to absolutely do your grief "your way."I've given out perhaps 25 copies. Some come back. Others set out on a journey of their own. And I love that they do. I feel like "the Lupine Lady" (reference to another children's book.)I'd like to thank the authors, if they ever read their reviewers, for a heart-felt gift to us.

After the death of my parents

My dad died suddenly in June, 2002; my mom died, after living with cancer,in January 2003. Someone sent me this book and it was the best piece I have read on grief. I am ordering multiple copies in memory of my parents. I will distribute them to elementary and secondary schools, hospice facilities and chaplains. Anyone who works with grieving people will want this book!

I felt understood!

... This book is wise and insightful, both for a grieving person as well as someone who loves a grieving person. Any type of loss is addressed in this book. The book is perfect for children as the illustrations are stunning and it is written simply, but adults will experience it more deeply as they will see it's wisdom and understand it's nuances. This is an excellent choice.

Recommended for those grieving, or helping someone grieve

My across-the-street neighbor suddenly passed away, leaving behind a grieving widow and beautiful 6-year old son. I went to the book store and came across this book. There's not a lot out there on grieving for kids. Reading this book, I was moved to tears right there in the bookstore aisle. The pictures are marvelous as is the story. This book tells of 'Grandy', who loses 'someone close'. Especially helpful is that it doesn't specify who the 'someone' is, so it can fit into any situation. Grandy and Grampy are making tear soup. The book tells how people are afraid to approach someone who's grieving, and how people who try to be helpful, sometimes are not. It follows the stages of grief, and how you have to allow yourself all the time you need. In the end, the hardest day comes, and Grandy puts the tear soup away in the freezer to taste now and then. Her grandson says, "What will I do when you die, Grandy?" And she replies, "I'll leave you my recipe for tear soup." Gorgeous. I now keep a copy of this book on hand for those grieving in all walks of life. I've given it to my doctor when his daughter was suddenly killed in an accident, and a copy went to my cousin when her father suddenly died of a heart attack. This book is also useful in reminding all of us that the grieving process is not just about death, but any sort of loss in our life, ranging from a mild disappointment to a "not to be borne" situation.

Excellent approach to grieving for families

Tear soup is a wonderfully illustrated children's book for adults written about how we each individually grieve loss in our lives. The story is about "Grandy," but she could just as easily be me or you, and Grandy has suffered a loss, so Grandy begins to make tear soup. Tear soup cannot be made just out of a can, but is an individual process, as unique as each chef; and only through the soup making can we fully heal and move on.The full page illustrations through which the text of the story run show an even richer tale of the other people and pets in Grandy's life who interact with her recipe and add a powerful depth to an already touching story which you can't help but relate to your own life.