When I'd heard that Charlotte Uhlenbroek had finished her book on Talking with Animals I was very excited. Charlotte and I have been contemporaries in the field of animal communication for some time. Although our research methods and findings may diverge somewhat, we both have a common passion for this particular field of study, and I was truly excited to read her book. This is an excellent study in inter-species communication and makes up most of the book. She is usually dead-on with some of her findings but there are some that I take umbrage with. Firstly, House Cats are not the best source when asking for directions while travelling. My exhaustive study has found that the Turkey Buzzard is the best to ask when trying to get from point A to point B. Through years of translative work, we have found that New World Leaf-nosed Bats are the most adept at recommending nice eateries. An interesting revelation was documented only several months ago; the British Red Squirrel has a bevy of fantasy football information to deliver if asked in the proper way, including who to start and who to sit in your skill positions against the 4-3 defence. I have personally carried on (over the phone mind you) a 45 minute conversation with an Indonesian Mountain Weasel covering all sorts of topics such as politics and home-brewing beer. I had submitted this research to Charlotte for inclusion to her book but was turned down. As were the following findings: 1. The Northern Spotted Owl has an unrivaled collection of racial slurs. 2. The Spotted Sea Trout is a pathological liar and constantly requests loans. DO NOT LOAN THE SPOTTED SEA TROUT MONEY even when he promises to "get square with you on payday"! 3. Communication with a Colorado River Toad should be avoided at all cost due to its propensity to call your house and tell your wife that you and he are lovers. And your wife may not believe that its a stupid Colorado River Toad and you dont know how, through your research, he got your home number, and NO there is not something "you want to tell" her! Anyway, Ms. Uhlenbroek has done an excellent job of laying out her findings in the field of animal communication, and this book should be enjoyed by all.
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