Surviving Intimate Terrorism

by Hedda Nussbaum

Book Overview

Hedda Nussbaum, battered and bruised after years of domestic torture by her live-in partner, Joel Steinberg, was abruptly thrown into the public spotlight in November 1987 after Steinberg assaulted... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1413756522
• ISBN13: 9781413756524
• Release Date: January 2005
• Publisher: Publish America
• Length: 480 Pages
• Weight: 3.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 9.0" x 6.0"

Customer Reviews

Hedda Nussbaum's Story Saved Me

I was in a relationship with an abusive man in 1989 when I read an article in *People Magazine* about Hedda Nussbaum's relationship with Joel Steinberg. I was only in the early phases of my relationship -- the man had broken my things and had threatened me but had never actually harmed me physically. But the warning signs were present. There were so many similarities between Steinberg's behavior and the behavior of the man I was with, it would have been difficult to refuse to see. Like Hedda, I had a daughter, and for her sake, even if I had been willing to sacrifice myself to the "love" of this man, I knew I had to get away from him. I did leave and am probably a stronger person for having lived through the experience. Certainly I now have a far greater understanding of how women get sucked into abusive relationships and why they stay. To the people who claim Hedda was masochistic, think again. Would you say the same of inmates of prison camps, of rape victims, of the 16 year old Sylvia Likens, who was tortured to death? (yes, some people even claim that poor child was a masochist). Hedda, if you read reviews of your book and happen to see this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your story, which made me see the truth, and got me to safety before anything terrible happened to me or my daughter.

Hedda Nussbaum is a Liar

I was fascinated with this case when the events were first made public years ago, and after all these years, it's still frightening. I read "Lisa, Hedda, and Joel" while the crimes were still fresh in the minds of the public. I have wondered about it over the years. In recent months, I happened to see a re-run of an old television series, with a story line that was obviously a parallel of this case. I then looked for more recent material, and ordered Nussbaum's book. I had mixed feelings about the book, for many reasons. My first impression as I began to read was that Nussbaum did not have particularly good writing skills, which surprised me considering her once-professional background. But the content made the biggest impression. I grew up in abusive circumstances, and then became an abused spouse. Luckily, I got myself and my child out of the abusive marriage. It took me many years, but I now know firsthand that a pattern of abuse in life can lead you to put yourself in repeat situations if you don't or can't take control, and if you wait too long to make corrective choices. And so many abused women are not aware until it's too late. But a line can be drawn between accepting your own abuse, and allowing it to happen to a child. That was the turning point for me. After reading Nussbaum's book, I ordered a copy of the older publication, "What Lisa Knew." Gloria Steinham wrote the intro to Nussbaum's book, and I hold Steinham in the highest regard but I really believe she missed the mark on this one. Because of my own life experiences, I have more empathy to the plight of abused women that do most people, and it is an ongoing battle. But regardless of Steinham's endorsement of Nussbaum's side of the story, I found Nussbaum's account of her "life with Joel" to be false, dishonest, contrived, empty, and essentially full of crap. After reading three different accounts, I certainly believe that Nussbaum was a horrendously abused woman. I also believe that she chose her lifestyle and enjoyed the abuse. Sometimes, somehow, people as sick as she and Steinberg manage to find each other. The synergy then created between the two becomes a bigger monster than either of the single individuals. And that poor little girl was lost as a result. I believe that they are both monsters, and I pray for that poor child's soul. I also pray for the little boy, who by some miraculous issue of fate, managed to be rescued before also suffering the same fate as poor Lisa. I hope he has a happy life now. My recommendation is that, should you buy this book, buy it from a flea market so that you do not contribute one dime to Hedda Nussbaum's livelihood. She is a monster.

A MUST read!

I couldn't put this book down. These horrible abuses happened . . . and are happening now in many many homes . . . and the victims are being convinced it is their fault. If one tiny part of you even thinks, for a second, that you might be (or have been) a victim . . . read this book. The abuse always escalates! Evil people . . such as Joel Steinberg NEVER take responsibility . . Instead they blame, rage, project, lie, punish, and gaslight etc. and the poor loving women are left confused and trying harder to please an INSANE "GENETIC MISTAKE". The victims of abuse (like Hedda) are in fact, the strong ones. . . The psychopaths (like Joel Steinberg), are in fact the weak ones. I believe it is well past time to shine a bright light on these DEMENTED SUB-HUMAN BEINGS and how sick and evil they will get. This book does that

If there every was a true survivor, it is Hedda Nussbaum!

When the Lisa Steinberg case became documented by every major New York newspaper and the tabloids, I became mesmerized by the situation. The first thing, I remember is seeing Hedda Nussbaum. She looked awful and dreadful then while Joel looked fine. I remember seeing the pictures of horrible bruises and I remember when she first became known as a victim. While there are those people out there who do not share my views, I can understand their point of view too. Why she didn't she take the kids and leave? In fact, everybody expected it to be Hedda Nussbaum as the victim. If the turn of events was different, Hedda's story would have never been really told. Lisa was caught in the middle. While she was a lovely child and everybody saw her own bruises, nobody really took an approach to get the family the help it needed or remove the children of the home. If you look at the cover of the book, you can't help but notice that this is what Joel Steinberg did to her over years of psychological and physical battery. To HEdda, Joel was godlike figure. She was so battered that she needed his permission for everything in her life. She lost her promising job at Random House because of him. She wanted to marry him but he didn't want too. Joel was her svengali who controlled every aspect of her life. I know Hedda is sorry and remorseful for not getting out. She did try. 5 times but she was virtually a prisoner of Joel Steinberg, not behind but prison but psychologically. If you watched her last night on Larry King Live, you know physically that she transformed almost into the attractive naive pretty Jewish woman that she once was before Joel. I always felt sorry for Hedda. I remember when the cameras videotaped her bruises especially her leg, her hair, her facial injuries, and then I remember seeing her again in trial. Her testimony did not convince a jury to permanently remove Joel Steinberg from NEw York City streets. He is in fact in New York City and paroled but still a remorseless, evil, unconsciousable human being who ruined and stole a part of Hedda's life and the life of little Lisa. Poor Lisa, wherever you are, I hope you are at peace. For Hedda, I wish you a lot of luck in your new life. I never thought you had a hand in LIsa's death. One police detective said that you would have been dead yourself in 3 weeks if you stayed with Joel.

A riveting read...

This book is a must read. I couldn't put it down! Finally hearing Hedda's side of this story has been enlightening and life changing. The media coverage of her case caused her to become the face of domestic violence - and now we can read the true story in her own words. No one who reads this book will be the same - Hedda is a true survivor. I applaud her for the courage to speak up and share her story about her battle to live through such a horrific experience. I think this book will be a beacon of light to other women who are living with intimate terrorism, and those who have their own stories to tell. While the journey Hedda takes us through doesn't ease her suffering, it enlightens us about the consequences of domestic violence. Share this with every woman you love, and honor Hedda's struggle, loss, and ultimate triumph.