Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain

by Rona Subotnik and Gloria G. Harris

Book Overview

What Now? Nothing your marriage has sustained in the past compares to the pain of discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful. The betrayal, rage, sadness, and jealousy is unlike anything you've experienced before. And yet it is possible to move forward, decide what to do in your marriage, and most important, heal. For more than 10 years, Surviving Infidelity has been offering sage advice and compassionate, nonjudgmental analysis. Based on the...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1593374801
• ISBN13: 9781593374808
• Release Date: June 2005
• Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.71 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.4" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Anyone going through this pain should read this book

I have been going through the pain of infedility for several months before discovering this book. It is very easy to read. It gave me a lot of insight into why my husband had an affair and how he thinks and insight into my own feelings. After I read the book I asked my husband to read it. He even stated that the writers were right on the money and confirmed some of his ideas on how I was feeling and what I am going through. Now we both are talking more and moving to resolve things and make our marriage better. I would recommend this book to anyone going through this terrible ordeal. I just wish I had found this sooner so we could start healing sooner.

Surviving Infidelity, Saving My Relationship

I recently was informed by my spouse that she had a past 1 year affair. I remember being very numb and angry. It was recommended that I read Surviving Infidelity. What a true blessing this book provides. At a time when I felt my world was coming to an end this easy to read paperback has given me the strength to move forward and understand why people in general have affairs but more importantly than that the book affirmed the emotional feelings I am experiencing right now are NORMAL and thou I share some responsibitlity for our relationship I am not at fault for my wife deciding to have the affair. I have decided as a result of this reading that my relationship with my wife is worth saving and this book has given me valuable tools to move in that direction. Thank-you Rona and Gloria for giving me more insight and understanding.

the best that there is out there

This book will help you over the rough spots of Infidelity. The authors let you know you are not alone and we all go through the same stages of Infidelity. Not all affairs are the same, but they are just as hurtful, nor do they all call for the same response, which does not make cheating right in any way. Surviving Infidelity will help you to understand what goes on in a cheaters mind. Here you will find answers to the many questions you have. I believe the hardest part to get over is the betrayal. Every one handles infidelity differently. Remember: we must never take it on ourselves, the cheater is wrong. Here is a list of subjects the authors explain to us: Why affairs happen Discovery and its impact Coping and healing Dealing with the martial crisis Repairing the relationship, if that is what you want The post affair marriage Increasing your self-esteem What it takes to be a survivor I noticed this book in a bookstore as I was searching for a book to improve on myself. Something told me to buy it because at the time it fit my life, boy was I glad I did. I realized that I did not need the fixing because I was the injured party. It is really strange but those of us cheated on seem to take the blame for something that is out of our control. Remember where the blame lies -- we are the hurt and damaged ones. Read the book it will really help you pick up the pieces of your life. It did me. This one earned High Marks from this reviewer.

Changed my life!

I researched the customer reviews first when looking for a book to help me deal with the issues of infidelity I am having. This book opened my eyes, and made me feel "normal" and hopeful. I was able to see the type of affair my husband had, and why. I was able to see that it wasn't because of something I did, or didn't do. I was able to see that my anger, obsession, lack of esteem was normal. It gave me the perspective that I lacked. I recommend this for anyone faced with the decision to stay or leave due to infidelity.

good for everyone involved

This is a great book. It offers solutions to problems such as deciding whether to remain married, how to treat your spouse, how to control your anger/sadness/self-esteem, etc. It never at any point blames either person (betrayed or betrayer). It is good for the betrayer to read because it offers him/her a look into how the betrayed spouse is feeling, and what that person is going through (and must go through) to heal, while never issuing judgement on the betrayer. This is a great book no matter what course you are considering after discovering an affair. It can help you and your partner heal (together!), strenthening your relationship; it can help you increase your self-esteem so that you can make your own decisions about sticking around or leaving. Its best quality is that it is POSITIVE. Everything the book says, whether about the betrayed or the betrayer, focuses on the positive and realistic qualities of the mess and how to clean it up.