Split Heirs

by Esther M. Friesner and Lawrence Watt-Evans

Book Overview

To Gudge's bride, Queen Artmeisia of Hydrangea, are born a set of royal triplets. But traditional Gorgorian belief holds that triplets are a sure sign of the mother's adultery--for which the tradition Gorgorian punishment is death. And Gudge is nothing is not a traditionalist. So in secret the Queen sends her faithful servant Ludmilla on a desperate mission, to bear the girl and the younger boy to the secret forest redoubt of the last Hydrangean resistance...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0312853203
• ISBN13: 9780312853204
• Release Date: January 1993
• Publisher: Tor Books
• Length: 319 Pages
• Weight: 0.96 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.3" x 5.7" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Hilarious!!!

I read this book in the early 90's. I always think about this book once in a while and I have always loved it! I even did a book report on it in high school! One of the funniest I've ever read.

Conquest the Farcical Way

Split Heirs (1993) is a standalone humor fantasy novel. It is set in Hydrangea, a country conquered by Gorgorian barbarians. The conquerors were flea-bitten nomads and the conquered were decadent and refined citizens. Hydrangeans were so highly-refined that the wizards were useless for anything quick and nasty. In this novel, King Gudge is now ruler of Hydrangea by right of conquest. He has beheaded the former Hydrangean ruler -- King Fumitory the Twenty-Second -- and married the daughter of the former king. Gudge then got his new queen pregnant by the usual Gorgorian practice of raping her. He hasn't stopped beheading Hydrangeans, finding it a quick way to cut off unwanted conversations. Queen has retired to the north tower of the palace in the ancient ritual of isolation of the pregnant queen. Strangely, none other remembers this ancient custom, but who knows all the ancient rites? Currently, the queen is in the process of parturition, having just delivered the second child with one more to go. Old Ludmilla is the queen's handmaiden. Ludmilla is older than anyone else known to the queen. She is also the midwife for these births. Prince Helenium, Prince Helianthus, and Princess Avena are the names bestowed on the newborn children of King Gudge and Queen Artemisia. They are each tagged with miniature portraits of their royal namesakes. Odo is a shepherd living near Stinkberry village. He keeps his sheep on the mountain over the village. Odo is almost as old as Ludmilla and has had intimate relations with the crone many decades ago. Clootie is the pseudonym of the only surviving Hydrangean wizard. The others were beheaded. He now lives in a thoroughly dry cave near Stinkberry village. Clootie is busily developing quick and dirty methods of creating havoc among the barbarians. He will be prepared to unleash his magic against the invaders any decade now. In this story, the Gorgorians believe that multiple births mean multiple fathers. Since the penalty for adultery is death by wolverines, Queen Artemisia is determined to send the younger children to her brother Prince Mimulus, now known as the Black Weasel, brave and dashing heroic leader of the Bold Bush-dwellers. Unfortunately, Old Ludmilla gets agitated and carries off the two boys. On the way to the Black Weasel, Old Ludmilla becomes lost and is found by Odo. He takes her back to his hut and they renew their close relations. Unluckily, Old Ludmilla dies with a smile on her face and Odo is left with two very young children on his hands. Odo fetches his favorite ewe to nurse the boys and then ponders the lack of names. Old Ludmilla hadn't properly introduced him to the newborns, so he comes up with two names from his past. He names the boys Dunwin and Wulfrith for his errant uncles, who were hanged in Lichenberry. Later, Odo decides that the boys are too much for his lifestyle and sells Wulfrith to Clootie as an apprentice or maybe lunch. Clootie takes the boy ba

The freshest book I have read in awhile

Fun, Fun book about a simple case of mistaken identity between three royal children it is an excellent book to read if you into Terry P. Between boys being mistaken for girls and dragons being turned into sheep I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard while reading a book.

Hysterically Funny.

Don't take this any more seriously than you would a Terry Pratchett novel or a Zena episode. If you like campy, punny, word-based humor, it will push the limits of what you think is too much camp, puns, and downright silliness. Very Monty-Python, very very silly. The plot romps along, happy, saucy, and raunchy to a pleasant and yet realistic enough conclusion for a book that includes tales of crying cheeses and lots of engaging descriptions of bad smells. Not to be missed.

Finally, a Great Comic Fantasy Without Fourteen Sequels...

I enjoyed this book very much. The characters were wonderful caricatures without looking like mere excuses for jokes, which bothers me when I read i.e. Pratchett's books. However, most of the jokes worked too. I also think the authors managed to keep all the plotlines woven together very well and the finale was satisfying. One minor thing I learned from this book: whenever there is a dragon approaching your town, it is always a good idea to suggest that your brother-in-law is a royal virgin too!

A high excitement, high comedic look at medieval living

When starting Split Heirs, I expected to just read another ordinary fantasy novel set in medievil times. Not unlike several that I had read before. But to discover an entangling, funny and complicated (you may wish tto take notes) story of 3 triplets (one girl, two boys) seperated. One boy becomes an average sheepherder. Another a magician's apprentice, while the girl is mistakenly kept to be prince of the kingdom!!