Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life

by Lauren Mackler

Book Overview

Many people spend years waiting for an ideal partner--a"soul mate" to make them feel happy and complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of a deep-seated fear of being alone. In Solemate, Lauren Mackler provides a groundbreaking road map for achieving mastery of your own life so you can experience a sense of wholeness and well-being whether you're on your own or in a relationship. It's about becoming the person you were meant to be,...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1401921434
• ISBN13: 9781401921439
• Release Date: April 2009
• Publisher: Hay House
• Length: 367 Pages
• Weight: 1.24 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.2" x 5.4" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

I love this book! A must read!

What a wonderful book! I feel that this is a must read book for everyone regardless of age, gender, or relationship status. Yes, with the clever title, one might think it is only for people looking for a relationship, or looking to better the one that he or she is presently in, and, it is. However, it is truly a book for anyone looking to make positive, and lasting changes in his or her life. I am a happily married mother of two young boys, who works part-time, and this book has truly changed how I live my life day to day, how I interact with those around me, how I parent my children, and how I treat myself. This book is tremendously insightful, and very well written. It is filled with a compilation of all of the tools (as well as the theories behind them) to take concrete, doable actions to move forward in your life and to live true to who you are. I think that so many of us know that we want "more" yet we don't always know what that "more" is, why we want "more", and how to get "more" out of our lives. Many of us just walk around doing the same old thing day in and day out, or as Lauren Mackler calls it, living life by default. She gives us the tools to live a more deliberate life, one that we have outlined for ourselves, and one that is more in line with our authentic selves. What I love about this book is that it truly gave me a comprehensive step-by-step guide for personal transformation. I found that the book broke things down into manageable pieces for me to read, with corresponding exercises/activities for me to do. Each one built upon the next one, and at the end of the book, I had a life vision statement that empowered me, excited me, and energized me. And, even better, it is realistic! I also love that Lauren Mackler is upfront about this work. She reminds readers that this is a process, not something to be achieved overnight, and not something that comes along merely by positive thinking alone (although she does use visualization). Yet, this work is transformative, and its results are life changing and long lasting. I have given this book to many people (I can't bear to loan mine out as I reference it a lot!), and they have all loved it as much as I have.

Solemate Is Where The Action Is

Lauren Mackler's book, "Solemate," provides a totally new and thoughtful point of view about shedding self-limiting barriers, becoming complete with yourself and learning that aloneness is a happy place, if I allow it. I have a whole new perspective on walking into a room all by myself. I realize that my joy, confidence and self worth comes from within - it's a stream of plenty that I can always tap into. I recommend this to everyone - in or out of relationship.

Must read for everybody!

This is a must read for anybody, single or attached; to really understand your past and what is keeping you from becoming the person you were "meant to be". It is well-written and a good read as Lauren Mackler shares her own experiences and introduces her clients' stories. It's about becoming the partner you seek. Mackler is very compassionate in this topic, and gives readers practical step-by-step exercises at the end of each chapter. Mackler writes that if you discover "the person you really are beneath the layers of your life conditioning--and living in a conscious and deliberate way so you can achieve the results that you want from life and feel complete and happy on your own." She clearly articulates what I have been feeling. I always believed that feeling happy is a process which takes focus, strategy, and commitment. Mackler is very resourceful in giving great advices on keeping focus and sustaining a commitment. Her book made me feels reenergized to focus on my vision and work towards that goal. I recommend this book as a gift to yourself and also friends!

Should be a must read for everyone!

This book is a fantastic, well-written, and well organized book. I would highly recommend this book for everyone, single or not. I have read countless books in the self-help genre but none of the books get to the core of the human issues as clearly as this book does. I read it in three days and plan to do all of the exercises. I have numerous books on manifesting love but as Mackler expresses in her book, how can you manifest love if you have a unconscious block. This book clearly helps the reader get to the root of those unconscious blocks. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book. "If your energy is being expended in staying safe - in avoiding failure, rejection, physical harm, and emotional pain by avoiding the people, places, and situations that trigger your fears-then that energy is tied up in your vigilance to stay safe instead of in fulfilling your potential." Page 78 "If you make finding a soul mate the main focus of your life-and many people do-then if he or she fails to show up, you may spend many days or months or years waiting for a happy and fulfilling life instead of living it." Page 32 Thanks for writing this terrific book, Lauren. It is a Godsend.

Happy Living Alone? You Can Be

From: www.BasilAndSpice.com Author & Book Views On A Healthy Life! A FirstLook Review Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life (Hay House/ Apr 2009) by Lauren Mackler America has changed. 95.7 million Americans are single (43%)--many because of divorce, widowhood, or never married. More women today are living without a spouse rather than with one. (Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce; women outlive men an average of seven years.) In the past, it was typically considered not the norm for an adult to live alone, and be happy. Today, that attitude is changing. Lauren Mackler knows firsthand what it's like to overcome this stereotype and become the person she was meant to be. Following a drawn out divorce in her early thirties in Europe, she flew home to the United States to restart her life as a penniless single mother. Mackler sunk into a depression and asked her own parents for help at the point of a mental breakdown. "That moment," she writes "would prove to be a major turning point in my life." Lauren Mackler is an authority on personal transformation, relationships, and professional performance as well as a co-author of Speaking of Success with Jack Canfield, Stephen Covey and Ken Blanchard. Her new book, Solemate is divided into two sections--Part I: Uncovering Your Authentic Self and Part II: Liberating Your Authentic Self. The first sentence, "This book is about you." These life experiences and her successful recovery have made her stronger, enabling her to give compassion and understanding to the reader through her book, Solemate. Solemate is about how to become the person you were "meant to be." Mackler asks the reader to keep a journal, read the book, and perform the exercises at the end of each chapter, which will enable the reader to: *Embrace his/her aloneness--find something good about the situation *Uncover the conditioned self--learn why and how you behave the way you do *Manage fear--a whole chapter on this subject *Live deliberately--choose wisely, everything we do has consequences *Reclaim innate wholeness--identify your true passions and life's purpose; move toward wholeness *Become the partner you seek *Create a life vision--visualize the ideal life *Build inner and outer support systems--addresses professional support, relationships, *Bring that vision to life--several exercises in this different type of chapter *Sustain a commitment--avoid feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and back sliding Solemate helps one uncover and retrieve his or her authentic self--"the person you really are beneath the layers of your life conditioning--and living in a conscious and deliberate way so you can achieve the results that you want from life and feel complete and happy on your own." Mackler originally developed the ideas behind Solemate in a Mastering the Art of Aloneness workshop (1998). Feeling happy on one's own does not happen overnight, but is a process, Mackler insists. The keys