Shiksa: The Gentile Woman in the Jewish World

by Christine Benvenuto

She is feared and desired. She is the symbol of a family's failure and a culture's dissolution. She is a courageous ally, a loyal fellow traveler, and a mother struggling for the survival of the same family and culture whose destruction she supposedly seeks. The gentile woman has been all these things and more to the Jewish people. Her almost mythic status has its roots in the dawn of Jewish history and repercussions that extend beyond our own time...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 031231146X
• ISBN13: 9780312311469
• Release Date: March 2004
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press
• Length: 304 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.8" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Much-needed book practically buried!

My (Jewish) husband found this book buried in a remainder bin at a local bookstore. For 33 cents, he thought "what the heck." Being the "shiksa" in our home, I picked it up and literally could not put it down. I started it Sunday night and finished it this morning (Tuesday). Why was I not aware of this book? Why did it get such little promotion when it came out five years ago. I have spent countless hours feeling really bad about how I have been treated at the various synagogues we have visited or belonged to (every shade Benvenuto describes) and have always been made to feel that I was too sensitive or just wasn't trying hard enough. Bull----. To discover, through reading this book, that not only am I not alone, but the treatment I endured was real and prevalent, made a huge impact on me. Knowing that other gentile spouses of Jewish men are truly afraid for their children, that they get snubbed at potlucks and whispered about at family functions is ironically comforting. I think it is for this very reason that this book was published - came and went - with little fanfare. The liberal media doesn't want to touch anything "inappropriate" or impolite, unless it is vitriol heaved at Bush, Limbaugh and other right-wing kooks. This book said things about Jewish people, and their attitudes toward non-Jewish people (particularly women who marry "their" men) that they would rather not have printed. So, in media, where Jewish influence is undeniably strong, the book was simply ignored. Unlike say a DeVinci Code, which created controversy galore (perhaps because it is not in bad taste to have ill thoughts about Catholics in light of recent abuse scandals), this much-better-written book was virtually snubbed. Well, I will recommend it to everyone I know and hope you will read it too.

Long Overdue Discussion

I'm so glad Benvenuto wrote this book, because it launches a discussion about issues that have long troubled me. I am a gentile woman raised to be open, welcoming and respectful of the beliefs of others, who married into a Jewish family with mixed feelings about gentiles in the family. As someone who attended Catholic services (which include a reading of the "Old Testament" as well as the "New") weekly for about twenty years, I am much more familiar with my husband's faith than he is with mine. This book details the anochronism, in this liberal modern age, where racial and ethnic prejudice is tabboo, of a religion where exclusion is integral to the definition of the faith itself. I can see how the point of view here would be very offensive to Jews, and is probably the reason why it wasn't widely covered in the national media. The author details many horror stories of gentile women who married into unwelcoming Jewish families, who nonetheless, decided to join that exclusive club themselves. Me, I have great respect for the Jewish tradition, I loved learning Hebrew, attending services and studying the Torah, but can't get past the "us and them" mentality. I was raised to believe I was a spiritual descendent of Jews, and suffered from no such sense of danger and betrayal in marrying out of my faith. My only criticism is I'd rather hear from a few more actual people --especially the husbands and the "problematic" Jewish mother-in-laws who were so often unwelcoming, and a bit less of the Biblical scholarship, though that was enlightening. Another important book to check out in a similar vein: The Faith Club, in which a Christian, Jewish and Muslim woman discuss their misperceptions about each others faith.

a must for everyone interested in Judaism

Benvenuto's book is a compassionate, critical, excellently written, well argued and thoroughly researched discussion of the role of gentile women in Judaism. Although not a fiction, it reads jut as fast. Benvenuto's is both a scholarly argument and an account of women's life in Judaism. She finds a perfect balance between personal stories (based on a selection of interviews she conducted), Biblical scholarship, journalistic presentation of opposing opinions and contemporary statistics and research. The subject, as the opposing reviews demonstrate, incites passion both for and against the book. It is precisely the negative reactions that prove Benvenuto's point, which is that gentile women still face hostility in some parts of the Jewish community. Yet Shiksa does not present a negative view of Jewish communities. Some of the gentile women she interviewed found their place in Judaism (even to the extent of becoming rabbis). The passion that motivates Benvenuto is a passion for Judaism that survived centuries without strategic exclusion of gentile women (some of the Biblical stories Benvenuto retells are about gentile women who were accepted in Judaism). Intermarriage is not a new phenomenon, Benvenuto argues. It has always existed and it will always exist. What seems to have changed is that in contemporary America, where Judaism is increasingly secularized, definitions of Judaism rely more on vague racial and cultural characteristics than religion. Thus while a gentile woman who converts to Judaism might become a respected rabbi and a Jewish community leader, from a secular point of view she can never become a "real" Jew. Acknowledging this contraditcion is crucial for the survival of Judaism. Let's hope that Benvenuto's book reaches not only the silent shiksas to whom Benvenuto's book gives voice for the first time, but also Jewish communities that can decide that inclusion is a much better policy than exclusion if they care about the preservation of their traditions.

This is a must read

After reading the previous review I decided for myself to figure out whether this title was as bad as they said. All I can say is that this is an astounding work and is going to be a controversial one. Those two responses are certainly not mutually exclusive.As the author suggests, the idea of even talking about the outsider in Judaism is one that engenders strong response. But this is not a book by a crank who could have just "posted a blog" on the internet to express her views. This is an incredibly thoughtful, well-researched, balanced and heartfelt exploration of contemporary religion from the point of view of someone who truly loves Judaism. The very fact of her taking the chance to question the tradition's exclusion of the Other and, by extension, the need for the Other (in this case, the gentile woman) to, in fact, define the tradition is a point that no serious scholar (or Jew) should ignore. As a university-level instructor in religious studies, I'd challenge my colleagues to not only read, but also really study this text with the kind of thoughtfulness it deserves and care with which it was written.A fantastic book!

Breaking 4000 years of silence

SHIKSA is a beautifully written, compassionate examination of voices that have existed within the Jewish community for 4000 years, but have rarely been heard: the voices of non-Jewish women. Much of the book consists of interviews with a wide range of Gentile women living in Jewish communities, rabbis and Jewish educators and other experts. Contemporary issues are placed in the context of fascinating rereadings of Biblical and other traditional source material. There is no doubt that SHIKSA will strike some nerves; after all, there is a reason why non-Jewish women's voices are rarely heard in the Jewish community. However, its goal is not to inflame but to begin a process of acknowledgement, healing and understanding of women whose lives are intimately bound up with the Jewish past, present and future.