September Songs: The Good News about Marriage in the Later Years

by Maggie Scarf

Book Overview

Since the beginning of the twentieth century, thirty years have been added to the normal human life expectancy. In September Songs, the follow-up to her bestselling Intimate Partners, Maggie Scarf... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1594488509
• ISBN13: 9781594488504
• Release Date: September 2008
• Publisher: Riverhead Books
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.15 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.2" x 8.1"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

How to write about age, with wisdom

Amazing as usual, Maggie Scarf talks about close issues. I am waiting for her next book!

Making Marriage More Meaningful

Maggie Scarf provides an excellent overview about the many ways that marriages change over the years. She blends statistics for large numbers of marriages with illustrations taken from in depth interviews with six couples. The "bonus years" are the 50s, 60s, and 70s. These are the thirty years added to our average lifetime since 1900. The author describes the "U Shaped Curve" which refers to our level of excitement about marriage: The left side of the U represents the initial passion and the bottom of the U describes the difficulties of the responsibilities and of all the miscommunications caused by our lack of time and energy. The right side of the U was missing altogether before 1900 because we died too young. Now we have the opportunity to understand more about our spouse as we live the bonus years. Other books I enjoy about the general topics covered in "September Songs" are: 1. "The Longevity Revolution", By Robert Butler. This is a comprehensive study about "The Benefits and Challenges of Living a Longer Life". 2. "Happiness is a Serious Problem", by Dennis Prager. This book provides guidelines for choosing how to live a happy, meaningful, life.

Hang on; it might get better

If a marriage is less than perfect and the kids are out from under then why do people stay married? I think that's the question Maggie Scarf sets out to answer. She arrives at a very up-beat set of solutions. Just hang on in there and it won't be as bad as you think. Her methods are at least partly scientific. She reviews what has been written on the subject and she conducted structured interviews, including questions about health, sex and money, with 75 couples. A lot of the book, probably its most readable part, consists of descriptions of six of these interviews. Of course we can't know how objective she was, and maybe she would have had trouble finding a publisher for a book that just said we get more miserable as we get older. Suicide rates go up, especially for old white guys, although there is evidence that women suffer less depression. I think this will be of interest to older married couples. For professionals in the field of geriatric mental health it is lacking in scientific rigor. The writing is clear but klunky; full of adverbs and phrases such as "both members of the pair nodded in energetic agreement."

Closer, Deeper, Stronger

Here's the blueprint for a happy, lifelong union. It's called "staying together no matter what" --- and these couples, married 40 or 50 years or longer, tell you exactly how they did it. Author Maggie Scarf has written a wonderful treatise on fulfillment in marriage, and shows us how you get there: going through hard times, and moving forward with courage and commitment to a better tomorrow. There's nothing simplistic here, no formula, no program. Instead, there's the sage advice of 'the greatest generation' and others --- showing us the virtue and value of keeping your promises and staying together. A great gift for a wedding or anniversary --- and a great read for yourself. Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie The Center for Marriage & Family Studies Del Mar, California Authors of ten books, including: The Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One