Secrets of the Wholly Grill: A Novel about Cravings, Barbecue, and Software

by Lawrence G. Townsend

Freezer-wrapped sirloin tips, secret sauce, and info-tech giant ThinkSoft combine in this satirical novel, rife with tones of Vonnegut and Huxley. Lenny Milton, loyal user of ThinkSoft products, opens his mailbox one day to find a package marked "Perishable." Inside are flash-frozen sirloin tips. Instantly famished, and thrilled to receive another gift from ThinkSoft, Lenny can't wait to fire up his grill. But there's a warning on the package: By...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0786709650
• ISBN13: 9780786709656
• Release Date: February 2002
• Publisher: Carroll & Graf Publishers
• Length: 330 Pages
• Weight: 1.35 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.3" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

A great legal satire

As a lawyer and as a self-proclaimed "numero uno legal thriller lover", I usually read about 50 legal thrillers a year - of the likes of John Grisham, Scott Turow, Lisa Scottoline, Richard North Patterson etc., etc. Suspense, courtroom drama, intrigue - are most probably the words that come to mind while describing legal thrillers.However, words like amusing, hilarious & funny cross my mind after reading Secrets of the Wholly Grill - a novel the like of which I have never ever read in this realm of mystery writing.Intellectual Property Lawyer Lawrence G. Townsend-s foray into fiction writing - Secrets of the Wholly Grill - is a superb satire, one that will be enjoyed by any person with a sense of humour.Thinksoft, a software company introduces an innovative "laser-powered cooking device connected by modem to a proprietary information network, designed to provide the ultimate outdoor dining experience for millions of barbecue loving Americans - the Wholly Grill." A special sauce is shipped free by Thinksoft to many a customer, but the can can only be used on the Wholly Grill. Using the sauce in any other grill results in freakish accidents & dangerous explosions.One such victim is Lenny Milton whose dog has lost his eyesight by consuming a barbecue product using this sauce in an ordinary grill. He approaches Will Swanson - a novice young attorney (a superb caricature of a lawyer usually seen in Grisham novels) & together, with the help of reporter Persi Valentino & lawyer Edwin G. Ostermyer, they take on Thinksoft. What follows is a rip-roaring humorous ride with David/Goliath style action that will enthrall & amuse.Secrets of the Wholly Grill is a satire on our litigation-obsessed society, the unscrupulous monopolistic nature of modern day companies, on legal thrillers & finally on Consumerism.We seldom associate legal thrillers with humour, (or for that matter lawyers with humour) - save for John Mortimer-s wonderful Rumpole works, I have never read a "funny" novel featuring legal-themed stories. The book reminded me a lot of MASH - a novel about doctors & medical service, unlike any other - & in that sense - Secrets of the Wholly Grill - is a unique look into the legal system, unlike any other.Secrets of the Wholly Grill is a wholly satisfying read. Highly, highly recommended.

Redmond Calling?

The cover alone forced me to buy this, and I was not at all disappointed. This is a book for conspiracy theorists and haters of monopolistic software vendors everywhere! Not only is this "laugh out loud" funny the whole (wholly?) way through, but it is scarily close to the "wholly truth".Written by an intellectual property attorney from Silicon Valley who has obviously seen it all happen in reality: from absurd "shrink wrap licenses" to the increasing power of lawyers over the technological lanscape. What does a software company do when it runs out of new revenue sources for it's software? Why turn to the "consumer" marketplace, of course. But the catch is you still do business like a software company, with a draconian "shrink-wrap" license.I won't spoil the ending, but suffice it to say that when the "wholly e-truth" comes out in the end, your sides should hurt from laughing! Don't miss it!!!!

Nervous laughter!

JUST when you assure yourself you're being paranoid...that technology REALLY doesn't control you...you open SECRETS OF THE WHOLLY GRILL. You laugh a little, adore the author's clever use of language and puns, and know that you might have been on the right track after all.Clever, yes. Absurd, maybe. A little too close to the truth? DEFINITELY! Lawrence Townsend has written a truly original novel, as they say, "ripped from today's headlines."If computers, software, food and cigarettes form the core pleasures and meaning of YOUR life, read on, my friends. You will enjoy the ride!I received this book as a gift, and what a gift it was!

Wickedly Yummy Fiction, Too Close To Truth

Ok, my Dad just read me the first chapter of this - over the phone, on my way to work - and I almost took out five lanes of oncoming traffic because I couldn't see for laughing so hard. It simultaneously lampoons (1) license-crazed software companies, (2) electronics manufacturers who strive to link all our mundane household gadgets to the Internet (while closely monitoring our usage patterns and reporting back to the home planet), and (3) the techno-fetishists (you know who you are) who make it all possible. Charred on the outside, juicy in the center - vegetarians beware, you may have to convert.

Too hilarious?

This is a witty and hilarious Rablesian social critique. But one has to remain alert not to lose the serious message of this novel -- that the high technology industry, software companies specifically, hoodwink the individual (the consumer's right to agree, to choose) to the industry's bullying contracts (those shrinkwrapped licenses we can't read until too late) to ensure its,industry's, profits. Every elected official should read this and take action to prevent against the further whittling away of our rights.