Scheisse!: The Real German You Were Never Taught in School

by David Levine and Gertrude Besserwisser

Book Overview

The perfect gag gift, this humorous book helps readers navigate the world of real Low German. Scheisse introduces readers to the fine art of cursing and basic slang to spice up their German speech.

If you think you have a fairly good command of German, think again. For it's a sure bet that Frau Schultz never taught you those nasty little guttural curses and humiliating invectives so expressive of real low German speech. But relax--here at last is the one book that can introduce you to the very worst beer-hall German. Scheisse is an indispensable guide to off-color German colloquialisms and profanities--lascivious bedroom slang and boozy insults, jeering scatological put-downs and scurrilous ridicule. This hilarious illustrated cornucopia of creative expletives, guaranteed to vex, taunt, aggravate, and provoke as only overwrought low German can, will help you master the fine art of German verbal abuse--with triumphant one-upmanship.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0452272211
• ISBN13: 9780452272217
• Release Date: July 1994
• Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.32 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 4.9" x 8.4"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Culture, and how!

Not only does this book teach you all the 'dirty words', but it gives you insight into the German culture. Seeing that there's a phrase to call beer 'liquid bread' seems silly at first, but you quickly learn there's a lot more to it. It's a similar experience to learning some of the small cultural bits in your own language- Americans might relate to how whiskey can be formulated as "grandpa's cough medicine", or various beer/food/etc combinations can become the "breakfast of champions". The great thing about this book is that it's careful to seperate myths from truth, and stereotypes from cultural traditions. Not only will you learn how to say the dirty word, but you'll learn the culture around the word, and how much trouble it will get you in. You'll learn what words we THINK are naughty but aren't, and some pitfalls you might run in to trying to speak everyday German (more things that SHOULD be taught in school but never are). Great just for the fun of it, excellent if you plan on travelling, and absolutely necessary if you plan on drinking. Yes, you should have a basic running knowledge of German before picking up a copy, but so long as you know how to string together some basic sentences, this book will do the rest. I can't reccomend this highly enough.

Very funny book on German

This is probably the funniest book you'll ever see on German, and it's the only one I've seen on the subject. Most of the book wouldn't be repeatable here, but I might be able to mention a couple things. "Die Muschi" refers both to "cat" as well as to you know what, just as in English. Equally funny, I recall from my study of Chinese that in Mandarin, the word "mao," pronounced with the tone that falls at first and then rises, has the same dual meaning too. So German, Chinese, and English are all alike in this respect. :-) You might hear the acronym "BMW", but it doesn't refer to the car. It's shorthand for Brett mit Warzen, or "a board with warts," referring to a woman that is not especially well endowed. However, "der Vorbau" means just the opposite. In fact, it translates as "front porch," which carries a connotation of being fairly heavy as well. The book has 12 chapters with hundreds of off-color and colorful phrases and words, and a glossary. Each chapter has a paragraph of introduction to the subject of the chapter, such as "Curses, Epithets, and Other Cries of Exasperation," or "The Basics," or "Body Language and Other Parts." Finally, there a little quiz in the back to test your new-found knowledge of scatological German linguistics, so to speak. The book is only 112 pages, but there is a lot of information in those 112 pages, and it's worth the price just for the entertainment factor.

Finally, a hilarious foreign-language text!

Until I read this book, I thought I knew every nasty thing you could possibly say in German. I was quickly proven wrong. This is a great reference for dirty words and insults you can't find in even some medium-sized German-English dictionaries. It is assumed that you have a basic knowledge of pronunciations and other mechanics of the German language, so I'd recommend it to someone with at least a year of formal instruction under his/her belt. Other than that, watch what you say and to whom you say it; your Oma would turn green at the mere mention of some of these words, but the boys in the Biergarten probably wouldn't mind too much. (However, there is an adequate effort made at pointing out some of the worst words and phrases.) The illustrations put the book over the top; they're relevant to the chapter in question, in a somewhat literal and very amusing way. A great read, and the best money you'll ever spend in learning German!

A great reference, but be careful!

I first read this book several years ago, prior to a trip to Northern Bavaria. It was a great and easy read, and gave me enough to sound much more native in my skills.But I have also learned that swearing or cursing is not so tolerated in German culture, especially in front of kids, so be careful with what you learn here.It is a great assist for those times you are sitting in a beer hall and need to fit in a little better.Yes, there are dialetical differences, but I have found that people in Germany really enjoy it when Americans make a concerted effort to speak the language. This book really helps.I remember my high school German teacher, and I wouldn't try too much of this book out on him, another warning for school age readers. The title word alone got me in deep Scheisse when I used it in class!

Scheisse! The REAL German You Were Never Taught in School

This is by far the best reference guide available to the general public. I wish I would have had this when I was in Germany as an exchange student - I just know if I had, I would have fit in much better at the Gynasium! This book is ... funny, but I think a lot of the slang and phrases touched on are useful as well.I highly, *highly* recommend this book for anyone who is studying the language or is traveling to Germany any time in the near future. I just can't tell you how pleased I was reading this book. From the beginning of the lesson to the quiz questions at the end of each chapter - this book was really something else (I don't think I stopped laughing at all from start to finish!)